Page 12 of Always Been You

Dyami

I opened my door and plopped on the couch, tired.

I’d just cleaned my house from top to bottom.

My house was never messy, but I was meticulous about cleanliness.

I hated the feeling of living in chaos. I had finally accumulated so many things I wanted, and keeping my place intact was a swell of pride.

This couch felt so good, though. I felt like I could spend all night here.

It was Saturday night, and Sundays were for sleeping in.

I would curl up with some ice cream and watch my favorite shows.

For the past few years, that has always been my routine.

Saturday, cleaning my mom’s house, then mine, Sunday lounging, and getting ready for the work week.

A FaceTime call from Marcos came through, and I sat up straight.

I debated whether I should answer. My finger slid up to accept the call.

It was just after ten at night, and he did promise to call back.

I still couldn’t get over the fact that Marcos was a father.

A quick assessment of his state seemed as if he was lounging, too.

A little tired from a day of daddy duties, no doubt because the energy he had earlier was depleted.

“Hey,” I intentionally made my voice light.

“What you got going on tonight?” His thick voice came through. Every time he asked me what my plans were, this tension gripped me just like it was currently. My throat got dry, and my chest started to pound.

“Just got done cleaning. You look tired.”

“I’m straight. I know we couldn’t link, but I didn’t want a night to go by without hearing your voice and seeing you.” Marcos sat up, and I moved the phone away from me so it didn’t capture my blush. He was always direct, and I see that he hasn’t changed one bit.

“Right,” I said awkwardly.

“Don’t hide from me. Bring yo pretty ass back to this phone.” He commanded. “How are your people doing?”

“Trina is 15 now. She is doing good.” I deliberately avoided my mother. He knew all too well, but that was too heavy for the moment.

“Damn. I ain’t seen Lil’ Trina bad ass in a minute.”

“Don’t call my sister bad.” I couldn’t even get the whole sentence out without laughing.

“Now, you know her ass was bad as fuck. She used to knock them lil’ boys around. That’s why she almost got jumped that day.”

“I never told you thank you,” I said quietly.

I took the phone away from my face again.

As soon as I did, he sat up. I licked my lips.

He was taking me back to my teenage years.

I was a grown woman, but these sheepish feelings were so common when it came to him.

I didn’t know what it would take to get out of that, but if we were going to be friends, I needed to find a better way to handle it.

“Where you at? Why are you hiding?” He asked.

“I’m sorry. I just had to pick something up. I was just saying thank you for what you did for me that day and every day after until you left.”

“You know that ain’t shit.”

“It was to me. You were the only friend I had. I feel like God allowed us to reconnect. A friend was what I desperately needed right now.” I admitted.

A sexy grunt escaped him. “Why you say that?”

“Nothing. It would be nice to have a male perspective on things every now and then. A man who doesn’t have an ulterior motive can just be honest with me. Like a brother.”

“I ain’t yo damn brother. I will always keep it a bean with you, but what I want from you ain’t never changed from day one. Damn sure since I’m grown, I’m definitely on that.”

“So, you never told me about what you have going on? What are you doing now?” I changed the subject.

“Ha! You always been a dodging ass. I make money.”

“I can see that. You are smart, Marcos. Smarter than what you are doing.” I said firmly.

“What am I doing?” His brows furrowed. The deep grimace made him even more handsome.

“I’m not stupid. I want you to be safe.”

“Always.”

“So, how was it when you moved away? Did you like it more than Flint?” I asked.

“It was a big adjustment. I wasn’t into shit for real. I wasn’t trying to hear that friend shit. I just wanted to graduate and get the fuck on. I thought about you every day. I called too, then you started not answering. Hurt my heart, figuring you had a lil boyfriend or some shit.”

“Nah, nothing like that. My momma took my phone when I was sleeping one night. I never saw it again.”

“Damn, but I ain’t worried about that shit because we here now.”

We fell into everyday conversation, just catching up, laughing, and talking about the past. The more we spoke, the more comfortable I became.

He was focused on not getting friend-zoned, but I was able to side-step that and get back to a conversation that went on for hours.

Before I knew it, three hours had passed, and my face was still glued to the screen.

Marcos had me rubbing my feet together and laughing in a way I hadn’t in years.

“Damn, I think MJ is crying,” Marcos said, and I looked down at the time. “Oh, I am so sorry. Maybe you woke him up laughing. Go take care of him, and I will talk to you soon.” I rose from the couch, concerned.

“That boy can sleep through anything. He has asthma, and sometimes when the season changes, sleeping can be a bitch for him. Give me a few.”

He disconnected before I could tell him not to worry about calling back.

I walked down my hall thinking I was going to get snug in my bed.

I didn’t make it down the hall before there was a knock on the door.

I knew exactly who it was. I’d put Jay’s ass on the block list. He couldn’t call my phone, so I guess he thought he was going to pop up like always.

I was perfectly content with ignoring his ass.

That was until I heard him outside the door, leaning on his horn like he’d lost his damn mind.

He honked repeatedly, like it wasn’t the middle of the night, and it wasn’t completely tasteless to honk at a woman in the first place.

He knew how I felt about drama around my place. This muthafucka was such a narcissist. I don’t understand why I hadn’t seen it earlier. I swung the door open and stomped to his car. He sported a wide grin, but I didn’t find shit funny.

“You need to get the hell out of here before I call the police.”

His response was a chuckle while he exited his vehicle. He started walking toward my door. I stepped in front of him and pushed him in the chest, which had little to no effect.

“What the hell are you doing, Jay? What part of it's over don’t you understand?”

“Stop fucking playing, Dyami. I know you miss me. I ain’t worried about that blocking shit. You thought I wasn’t gone pull up on my pussy?” He cupped my ass, and I swatted his hand away. He had the nerve to look offended.

“You said something last time, and I decided you were right. It was my decision to end the relationship. Now it’s my decision to end whatever sexual fling we had.” There, I said it. I put my foot down.

That familiar scent hit my nostrils as he stepped in close.

He forced a kiss against my lips, and when I pushed him in the chest, he wouldn’t budge.

For the first time since I’d been around him, I became afraid.

I shouldn’t have opened the door, but this was Jay.

Yes, we had broken up, but we were together for years.

Would he force himself on me? My mind was turning a million miles a minute.

My phone rang and we broke apart.

“Who the fuck is calling you this late?” He mugged. He tried to reach for me, and I slipped out of his grasp and closed the door.

I rested against the door in disbelief. I couldn’t believe Jay would take it there with me after all these years.

I’d held him to a standard higher than his moral character, and it was disgusting to realize I’d spent so much time with a man like that.

I felt a bang against my door like he had kicked it.

He then began to rant loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

“You got some other nigga fucking you now! So that’s what it is?

I ain’t fucking letting you go, baby. You think this shit over, you just don’t know how petty I can fucking get!

Open this fucking door, Dyami!” Another bang against the door caused it to rattle, as if he was about to knock it off its hinges.

Then nothing. I took a few measured breaths and pushed up from the door, hearing a FaceTime call again. That was enough for me for the night until Marcos sent a text through.

I know it’s late, but I don’t think you fell asleep that fast. Everything good?

I would tell him goodnight and get off the phone. That was crazy, and a sleepless night lay ahead. I’m sure I wouldn’t have a great conversation after that.

I propped my phone up, hit the call button to return the call, and I saw lights reflecting from my window from outside. My heart dropped. I ran to my window and looked out the blinds.

“I thought yo pretty ass was trying to play possum on me,” Marcos said.

Realizing the call connected, I turned back quickly, trying to play it cool.

“I’m sorry. I just had you watching me.”

“Don’t worry. I love to watch.” His voice dropped to that sexy octave, and he licked his full lips. A tingle crept up my spine and extinguished the nerves I just felt.

“No, I was just in the shower when you called,” I replied and cringed inwardly, realizing he hadn’t even asked me a damn question. Yep, I needed to lie my ass down and call it a night.

“You sure you good?” He asked seriously.

“I’m fine.” I pressed a fake smile.

“You can lie to me when I’m not in yo face. Just know it ain’t shit I won’t move to make sure you good. Whatever, whoever, however.”

“Marcos, the problem solver.” I attempted to tease. I smiled, and he kept his expression neutral. He knew something was bothering me.

“When I say I got you, that’s what I mean. Carry yo pretty ass to sleep and we’ll talk when you wake up.”

“Oh, how was MJ?” I added quickly.

“He was good. I had to run his treatment, but he went back down easily after that.”

“Good. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I smiled.

“You betta.”

We disconnected, and all I could think was how good his arms would feel wrapped around me while I drifted to sleep.