Page 11 of Always Been You

“I ain’t worried about no nigga mad at me because they trying to crawl in Crystal’s ass, Bruh. My eyes always open, but I ain’t wasting no time on that unless I need to.”

I dropped him back off at his whip, and I was heading home ahead of schedule since my son, MJ, would be spending the weekend with me.

So far, the schedule that Crystal and I came up with was working out.

I could see him whenever I wanted, but I learned quickly that Crystal got that shit confused and wanted to make things about her.

So, sticking to the time constraints made things clear.

I would pick him up every Friday to spend the weekend with me and take him to school daily from her house every morning.

That way, I was able to keep my bond strong with him.

Out of all the shit I went through, he was always on my mind on how I had to move.

I knew I couldn’t hustle forever, so getting into this restaurant shit was a major start of something that could be different for me and my son.

I had to admit to myself early on that I was not physically there as much as I should have been.

That changed, and I was committed to making sure he knew who I was and that he could depend on me.

When I arrived, Crystal was already there, and I looked at my clock.

It was only one, and we agreed to meet at two.

I wasn’t stressing it, but I knew she would find a reason to be mad about the shit, even if she were the one who was early as hell.

I jumped out and went to her back seat to where my Junior was. I unbuckled him and let him out.

“What’s up, daddy?” he said, smiling and giving me a five.

“What up, lil’ dude?” I smiled widely just like I did every time I saw him.

“Umm, hello to you too,” Crystal said, cutting in from the front seat.

“What up, Crystal?” I gave her a dry hello.

“We've been out here waiting for a minute. Where were you?”

“We said two. But I got him now, so you're good,” I walked towards my front door, not wanting to hear her shit. I heard her door close, so I opened my front door and let MJ in. “Go play in your room, man.”

“Damn, can you wait up a second?” She snapped.

I turned to face her and gave her my attention.

“I just wanted to say I appreciate what you do for me and MJ. I know your birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and I just wanted to help you celebrate. Let me know what I can do to help,” she said, batting her pretty eyelashes.

It was intentional that she was dressed exactly how I loved.

She wore a dress that exposed her thighs and heels that raised her height.

That would have to be for the next nigga’s pleasure.

She was set for life off me, but that was a bullet I just had to bite.

One thing I wasn’t going to do was be forced to be in a relationship with someone I had no desire for.

I would respect her as my baby mother, and that’s as far as it goes.

“On some real shit, that’s the weekend my restaurant is opening. I won’t be into much.”

“See, I don’t see why you don’t let me help you with that.

I can be everything you need. I've been down since the very beginning.

You're throwing a lot of money at that business. I can ensure everything else stays in order. I accept what comes with you and this life,” she placed her hand on my chest as she finished talking.

“You worried about the wrong shit, Crystal. We gone keep it strictly about MJ. You can let yo new nigga know he ain’t got no competition, so next time he come crazy I’m gone lay his ass down.” I turned to walk inside, and she grabbed me.

“What new nigga? I promise you I ain’t never messed with no other nigga since I met you!” She lied. I would be a fool to believe that.

“Hear me clear. Whatever you got going on, as long as it don’t affect my son, I don’t care. I’m gone go in and I’ll have him back to you at the scheduled time.”

“It’s like that? You gone throw years away because of one dumb ass mistake?” Her eyes misted. She wasn’t even on the same wavelength of thinking as me, and I wasn’t about to bust my brain trying to explain something to her that should’ve already been so clear.

“Call me when you on your way.”

I closed the door and went to see MJ. He was in his room playing with his toys.

I loved spending time with him. It gave me a sense of peace.

I had to admit, four years ago, when I became a father, I was scared as hell.

I didn’t know where I would turn for advice on it because my father was locked up for life.

I saw many pictures, but we never visited him.

I was at a loss for how to be a man. The void I had ignored doubled in size when I became a father myself.

All the guidance I had missed, which I had told my mother didn’t affect me, was suddenly exposed.

I probably still didn’t have all my shit right, but all I knew was that I wanted to be there.

So, I did. I tried every day to teach him and show him things I never knew.

He was going to be much better than I ever was.

If I had anything to do with it, he would never have his hands in this street shit, risking his freedom.

That was my burden, and I prayed that it wouldn’t be forever.

Kids changed you, and as I grew older, I realized that I had to be an example for him.

Just seeing him play in his room was enough to make my heart swell.

“We gone watch Spider-Man?” He asked with the action figure in hand. Spider-Man was his nigga for sure.

“With popcorn. That’s what I promised, right?” I crouched down to his level.

“Here!” MJ said, shoving a car in my hand.

“I got you, daddy coming right back,” I said, hearing my phone chime. I stepped out of the room to check my messages, and it was Dyami. A wide smile stretched across my face. Instead of responding to her message, I called her. Her voice sounded so sweet.

“Hey, Marcos.” She answered.

“I thought I was gone have to come find you,” I said.

“No, I just didn’t want to bother you.”

“Dyami, you ain’t ever bothering me. I want to see you.”

Silence. Her nerves were evident, and it gave me confidence.

“I have my son this weekend, but a nigga trying to see you ASAP so don’t think yo’ pretty ass gone hide from me.”

“That was your son at the restaurant?”

“Yeah, I have him every weekend. Is that a problem?” I said, and I walked by Junior’s room to make sure he was cool. Things had gotten a little too quiet for me.

“No, I want to see you too, so that we can catch up. It’s been so long.”

“Hell yeah. Too long. What’s your schedule like?”

“I’m usually free only on the weekends, because I work all week.” She dodged.

“I’ll find time. If I can’t find it, I’ll make some. Tell me the day.”

“My girl, Chante, and I go out after work on Wednesday at this work bar. You can meet us there if you have a friend for her.” I couldn’t get over how timid she sounded. That wasn’t her. All I had to do was crack that shell, and it would be done.

“I’ll take being a part of your plans until we create our own.”

“Okay, hold on, somebody's calling me.”

“You got that. I just wanted to hear your voice for a minute. I’m gonna call you later once I put my son to bed.”

We disconnected, and I was already making plans for her in my head.