Page 22 of Always Been You

Crystal

M y ass was sweating like hell when Kole walked up to me tonight.

It had been about six months since I last saw him.

He was still looking good as fuck as always.

I just never knew what his ass was up to.

When I met him five years ago, I thought his bit of mystery was something so exciting and refreshing, but when I found out what he truly was, I ran for the hills.

I was used to hood niggas from where I grew up.

My mom always kept a baller around after my dad was sent upstate for life.

But Kole was a killer and had quite a few damn screws loose.

Too bad I didn’t find that shit out until it was too late.

One day, I was in the mall with my girls, and he approached me.

He got me with his sexy ass demeanor, and it didn’t hurt that he was fine as hell with that dark as night skin and twelve-inch dick that he put in my life.

Terror was cheating, and I was caught up in some mad shit.

After messing around with Kole for a few months, I realized that I didn’t know a lot about him, so I started snooping.

I followed him one day to a big ass mansion and saw him taking bodies out of a van.

I wasn’t crazy, I knew he was dealing in drugs, and I knew that something like that would require someone to kill from time to time, but that shit was otherworldly.

There were at least ten bodies in that van.

He took them out, and I saw him take a saw to dismember them, and I couldn’t look at what he did next.

I ran like hell, and I vowed never to see him again.

I tried to ghost him, and that’s when I started getting things back on track with Terror.

I found out I was pregnant shortly after that, and I prayed that it wouldn’t be Kole’s.

I didn’t want shit to do with Kole anymore.

Terror never questioned it, and I thanked God for that.

He wasn’t always there at the beginning physically, but he never faltered financially.

He took care of us and kept us out of harm’s way.

I wish like hell Kole never found out about MJ and just let me leave him like I wanted.

But Kole, being Kole, didn’t go away quietly.

He would pop back up frequently throughout my time dealing with Terror, demanding to see his son.

I told him it wasn’t his once, and he beat my ass so bad I was in the hospital for a few days.

Terror was always in and out of the streets, so I was in the hospital and flew under his radar.

I was in a fucked-up position because on one hand, I could have a crazy ass baby daddy in Kole and a nigga who was for the streets in Terror.

The only thing I could do was hold onto the one who was at least financially supporting me.

Terror was giving me money and making sure I had everything I needed.

I pretended to be hurt when I saw him pop up with other bitches, but the truth of the matter was, I didn’t care.

I have no faith that any man would do me right.

The only person I felt bad for in this whole situation was MJ.

Terror was a good father, and he put his all into it, especially after he moved us up here.

He would be heartbroken if he knew there was even a chance that he wasn’t the father.

That’s why I was committed to never allowing him to find out.

The only fucked up part about that was that Kole knew I started dating him, and he and his father were trying to blackmail me into setting Terror up. The more I thought about it, I realized that was the play from the beginning.

I couldn’t be much help since I didn’t know much.

Terror never spoke to me about that side of his life.

Now we weren’t speaking at all. He was strictly in things for MJ.

That was okay, but I didn’t want to lose my grip on him.

I didn’t want him to move on and leave me out here.

I knew he loved MJ, but I wasn’t crazy. He didn’t give a fuck about me.

It was as if nothing was working as it used to.

I would pop up acting crazy, and he would come over and dick me down, and we would be kicking it for a few days.

Tonight, he clearly chose the chick he was with over me.

I felt like I was on the verge of losing everything.

I was sitting at my bar in my kitchen, downing shots of Hennessy.

I just couldn’t take this shit. My friends were blowing up my phone because they saw the fight all over IG.

They thought Terror and I were still together.

I didn’t want my cover to be blown. I was starting to build my brand and followers on IG, so I wanted to use his new opening for content.

That way, I could start generating my own income.

I was tired of always feeling like I had to depend on someone.

The last thing I thought I would see was him publicly hugged up with a bitch.

That had never been like him. So, I did what any scorned woman would in hopes I would scare that bitch off.

I got up from my stool when I heard the knock at the door that I was expecting. I knew Terror was coming over here to check my ass. Once he tossed me out on my ass, he told me to come straight home. I walked to the door, opened it, and he came in hot as hell.

“What the fuck is your issue?” He said harshly.

“What’s the problem? You tell me nigga! I've been holding you down for years, and now all of a sudden you are flaunting your new bitch like I ain’t shit to you.” I pointed my finger at his face.

“Bruh, you need to cool the fuck out. What is this shit?” he said, grabbing the glass from me that I was nursing. He walked into the kitchen to retrieve the bottle and poured it into the sink like I didn’t have more bottles around here.

“You need to stop with the bullshit. You are a fucking mother out here acting a fool in public. I won’t have you fucking up my business or fucking with my woman.”

“Oh, now she's your woman?”

“What I got going on ain’t got shit to do with you.

Same way I told you when that nigga in the bar tonight fucked with me at the Barbershop.

I don’t fucking care! Don’t make me take yo’ ass to court and take my son.

As a matter of fact, I’m going down that bitch first thing in the morning.

I don’t have time for games. Yo, stupid ass, doing too fucking much over nothing. ”

He said, trying to leave, but my heart stopped when he mentioned court.

There was no way in hell I was going to let that shit go down.

He could possibly be tested, and my whole life would be blown the fuck up.

I couldn’t take that type of chance. I broke down crying and grabbed him before he could make it out the door.

“Why wasn’t I good enough? What’s so special about her?” The tears were streaming down my face, but the questions I had were my truth. Why wasn’t I good enough for anyone? I kept my body together. I was beautiful, but it just seemed like I was never anybody’s choice.

“Look, man, I know it may have been a time where you were confused about what we were, but I never lied to you and gave you some bullshit promise. You know it’s only about MJ, so the shit you're going through, you're going to have to work out for yourself.”

He ripped away from me and slammed my door.

I was stressed as fuck. I couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t go down to the courthouse like he said.

This shit was about to fuck up my whole life.

Even more than that, I had to take MJ to see Kole tomorrow because I knew he wasn’t fucking around either.

Shit, I knew life dealt some fucked up cards sometimes, but this was truly unfair.

I wanted a comfortable life and a man who could help provide it for me, but I would have been faithful and loyal to achieve that.

Terror never had to worry about seeing me out with some other nigga while we were dealing with each other.

But, every time I looked up, he was flaunting some chick around, making me look dumb.

He never gave me a commitment, but he damn sure made me feel like he was going to wife me up, and I didn’t have shit to worry about.

Now, all this shit was about to blow up after all these years. Fuck, I needed another drink.