Page 34 of Always Been You

Dyami

I stood there in a trance while everything was moving in slow motion.

I still held the bloody knife in my hand.

The knife that was covered in Jay’s blood.

He lay on the bed writhing in pain. I wanted to finish the job, but Chante was holding me with all her might.

This nigga had done the last fucking thing he would ever get away with.

I had to draw the fucking line somewhere, and today, right now, was it!

Trina was frantically trying to cover his wounds.

She was screaming, and I was fighting like hell to break free.

I was fueled by hate, and I wanted to set this nigga on fire until he burned to ashes.

“Trina, shut the hell up!” I snapped, and she began to cry profusely, still covering Jay like he was the love of her life.

“I’m calling right now, Jay. Please hold on!” Trina cried, reaching for her phone. That’s when Chante let me go, snatched the phone from Trina, and pulled her up from the bed.

“We are leaving right now!” Chante demanded.

“We can’t leave him here! What if he dies?” Trina responded, trying to get back to him, but Chante blocked her.

“Trina, he can take care of himself. He is a nasty ass grown man, and he will not die. It’s just a damn steak knife!

” Chante then turned to Jay and spoke to him.

“Shut yo’ bitch ass up! You can call the fucking ambulance for yourself once we leave, but if you say a word about my friend, I swear to God my brother will flatline yo’ whole fucking family!

You a nasty ass nigga and you deserve more than what you got! LET’S GO NOW!”

“I’m not leaving my man!” Trina shouted.

“Trina, if you don’t march yo’ little ass out this house right now, I swear I will beat yo’ ass like yo’ mama should have,” Chante said as she snatched Trina up in a bear hug, told me to get the knife, and we left Jay on the bed crying like the bitch he was.

Chante’s instincts kicked in, and I was happy she was there to orchestrate the situation.

We ran into the car with blood-soaked hands, and I was trying to stay calm, but all I could think about was that I could’ve made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

What if Jay did tell the police I was the one who hurt him?

I wasn’t made for prison, no matter how tough I was.

Chante was barking orders, and Trina was in the back seat, crying.

I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

I just started calling Marcos frantically.

It was going straight to voicemail. I messaged and called but had no luck.

My head was spinning because there was never a time when I couldn’t contact him since we had been together.

Granted, it was the middle of the night, but still, if I was calling this late, it was a fucking emergency, and he should be there!

Where the hell was he and what was he doing?

“Are you calling Marcos? I just called Chubby, and he can’t get him either,” Chante said as we were sitting at the light.

As she spoke, I saw an ambulance and three police cars fly by, and my heart stopped.

I guess Jay did call for help because they were headed in the direction of my mother’s house.

He was going to tell. I couldn’t trust him not to.

I pecked away at my phone, wildly sending Marcos another round of messages.

“LET ME OUT OF HERE!” Trina sobbed, and that’s when Chante lost it.

“Little girl! If you don’t shut the fuck up and sit the hell down!

You really trying to pick a married nigga over your sister?

I don’t give a fuck how young you are, you know better!

You don’t know shit about nothing! Just because that nigga lay with you, you think that means something? You got a lot to learn!”

“You think that’s the only man I fucked? I fucked plenty of grown men! How the fuck do you think I make it? I am just as grown as you! Jay showed me that, and if I got to fuck to get what I want, I will, and it's none of y’all damn business! I can’t believe you did that, Dyami!”

Chante slammed on the brakes at Trina’s words and threw the car in park so fast my head hit the dashboard.

She got out of the car, pulled Trina out, and hemmed her up against the vehicle.

I got out as quickly as I possibly could.

Trina was like a little sister to Chante as well.

She would do for her just like I would. We were even about to go half on her homecoming dress, so I knew she wouldn’t hurt her.

With that being said, I even had to admit I was shocked by my sister’s words.

When did she become like this? Was I this out of touch with her?

All this time, I thought she was with her friend. She was really doing God knows what. No wonder she never wanted to stay with me. When I rounded the car, I tried to de-escalate the situation as quickly as possible, but Chante was already on a tear.

“You think you the only one walking around here willing to give these niggas pussy? You would rather use what’s between your legs rather than what’s between your ears, then lil’ baby, you gone have a fucking rough life!

But I tell you what you won’t do, you won’t compromise your sister for your bullshit!

She could be the only person you have left.

Your mother is in a fucking hospital and we don’t know how the hell she is doing.

We come over there to tell you, and you got your ass up like you grown!

What you will do is sit in this car, shut the fuck up, and take this ride!

Whatever happens to Jay happens to Jay!”

Chante’s chest was heaving up and down like she had just been in a twelve-round bout.

I’d never seen her so angry since I met her.

I thanked God she was here to control the situation because I don’t know what the hell I would’ve done.

I never thought my sister would be like this.

I saw Trina swallow a lump in her throat, and she turned to me.

“Mimi, what’s wrong with Mom?”

“Look, we will talk about that soon. Right now we need to get in this car so Chante can take us…”

“We are going to meet Chubby. He said he has one of Marcos’ spots where we can stay for a minute. He told him to go there in case of an emergency. Let’s go.”

We all got back in the car, and I couldn’t help but think that Marcos was still missing.

And what did they mean by one of Marcos' spots? How many “spots” did he have? I was calling him and messaging, and there was still no response. I didn’t want to think he was with someone else, but it was my go-to response.

How much was he hiding from me? After what I’ve seen with Jay, I could believe anything.

Marcos and I had a connection in the past, but how much did I really know about him?

That’s how my ass got caught slipping all this time with Jay.

Not keeping my eyes open and hoping that the little nagging voice in my head got me absolutely nowhere. This was just another red flag.

Chante picked up on my thoughts, and as we came to a stop in front of a house, she placed her hand on my leg to soothe me.

“It’s been a crazy night, boo. Don’t let your imagination run wild. We are here now. We are safe, and I’m sure there’s some explanation as to why he isn’t answering.”

I nodded as we got out of the car. The house was massive, and Chubby was standing in the doorway as the light seeped through.

We walked in, and Chubby was already trying to explain Marcos’s absence to me.

I wasn’t trying to hear anything at this point.

Whatever was happening with him had to be more important than responding to me, so in my opinion, he made his choice.

Chante took Trina to a room to get settled after I briefly described to her our mother’s overdose.

With the way Trina acted, she better be glad I was even speaking to her at this moment.

I had to find a way to go on after all this, and I had no idea how.

Jay was a lot of things, and I’m sure he would be pushed to talk by the police.

He had no reason to defend me after what I did to him, so I couldn’t tell what my fate would be.

I entered the shower in the bedroom. I stripped my clothes away, not giving any thought to the fact that I didn’t have anything else to wear.

I looked in the massive mirror in the bathroom, and my clothes and face were covered in blood.

My hair was all over my head, and I couldn’t do shit but cry.

I was a strong person, and I knew that. Some things have the power to break you down.

I don’t care how strong you claim to be.

I never tried to fuck anyone over, but time after time, I was getting the short end of the stick.

I was supposed to be enough to be loved without suffering.

That just had never been the case. My mother never chose me, my sister was on the verge of betraying me, Jay was a nasty, trifling ass liar, and Marcos was nowhere to be found.

I stepped into the shower and curled into a ball on the tiled floor as the water cascaded over me.

I had to find some way to get through this.

When I felt the water turn cold, I turned it off, dried off, and dressed in what I assumed were Marcos’s sweats and a T-shirt, which swallowed me whole. I wanted to be home, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea.

I went to search for Chante as I walked into the massive kitchen.

That’s another thing that was plaguing my mind.

Who has a whole extra house just lying around?

All this shit coming out was giving me bad vibes.

Was this where he brought his other females?

Who’s to say he couldn’t be living another life, too?

As soon as I walked into the dining area, Chante and Chubby immediately stopped talking.

“How you feelin’?” Chante asked.