Page 55 of Always Been You

Terror

W hen Crystal’s text came through, I was already on the way to the park.

She was crazy to think I would bring my son in the first place.

I couldn’t trust her for shit. But one thing I wasn’t was a fool.

It was better for me to surprise them than be a sitting duck waiting to be picked off.

I received a ding saying that she shared her location with me.

Then she followed it up with a frantic text saying Kole was with her.

That didn’t scare me one bit. That was precisely what I wanted.

Instead of going to the park, I was going to her location.

I was flying through the streets like a speed demon.

I wanted to get there before they left. I made it to the house in less than twenty minutes.

I felt the adrenaline run through me like no other.

I was tired of all this shit. Nobody was going to keep fucking with my family and my life.

I would deal with Slash after I handled Kole.

This was my best opportunity to get him.

I parked my whip a few houses down the street and walked the rest of the way to the house.

I wanted to see if I could draw them out.

I would do my best to keep Crystal safe, but she better not be on no bullshit.

Nothing was about to get in my way. I picked a spot on the side of the house, crouched down, and called Crystal.

It went to voicemail, and I called one more time. This time, Kole picked up.

“I know she told you I was coming. If you want to see me have yo’ bitch ass at the park.”

“I’m waiting on you,” I said with a smirk and hung up the phone.

He didn’t know how true it was. I kept my eyes trained on the door while I screwed on my silencer and cocked my Glock.

I heard movement, and I rose as I heard the door open.

As soon as he took a step out, my gun met his face.

No time for words. His ass wasn’t getting away this time.

I pulled the trigger and banged his shit.

He never knew what hit him. I pulled his body back inside the house and closed the door.

I felt relieved, but I knew better than to leave a body outside.

As soon as I closed the door. I saw Crystal’s body face down in a pool of blood.

My chest tightened, not for myself but for my son.

This was his mother, whom he loved. I felt a flood of guilt encompass me.

Did I do the right thing keeping her away for so long?

In my heart, I knew I did because if she couldn’t save herself, she wouldn’t have been able to save MJ.

She knew what was about to happen, so she gave me the last gift of her location for our son.

I could respect what she did. She didn’t want Kole to have him either.

“FUCK!” I said, throwing my head upward.

I had to go. I couldn’t wait around until someone showed up.

I called for a clean-up but gave them strict instructions not to harm Crystal’s body.

My son deserved to say goodbye to her. Damn, my little man was going through so much.

I should’ve done more. Dammit, I should’ve done more for Crystal.

I looked at her one last time before leaving the house and said a prayer, hoping she would watch over MJ.

I jogged back to my car, cranked up, and peeled out.

I headed toward Slash’s to seal the final deal.

It was too much, and enough was enough. I was ready to walk away from everything that had the potential to put my family at risk.

I finally had a good woman, and I was prepared to find my footing outside of the streets.

There comes a time when a man has to look beyond what he once was and become something new.

This was that moment for me. If I learned nothing else, I realized that being “the” man and being a man were two different things.

In the same fashion, I parked down the street from Slash’s house and walked to it.

His gate surrounding his home was open, and I got a different feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I pressed on anyway. I had to close this door before I moved on.

I wasn’t going to let anything catch up to me.

Especially after killing his son, I knew he wouldn’t let me off light.

I was going to bring it to him before he brought it to me.

In the same fashion as the gate, the front door was open as well.

I pulled my gun, and my eyes were attentive. I stalked through the home quietly, and once again, I was met with death I didn’t cause. There were four bodies, and among them lay Slash. Someone got here before I did.

As I turned to leave, I heard police sirens.

I felt my heart jump in my chest. I knew I couldn’t go down.

I had too much, and I was all my son had now.

Perhaps I triggered an alarm when I arrived or something.

I looked at the bodies again, and if I got caught, it would be a wrap.

I ran to the back of the house, unsure of the layout.

I knew it had to be some way out the back.

As I crouched in the kitchen, I heard police come through the front yelling commands.

I sprinted to the next room, looking around for an exit.

When I turned around, I was met with a black officer.

I raised my gun on instinct, and so did he.

He barked no orders to me, though. He just sat his eyes on me.

“You Terror, right?” he said, lowering his gun.

His assertion took me by surprise. I remained quiet.

“You Ice’s son.” He said as more of a statement than a question.

Finally, I nodded my head. Why the fuck was he asking me this?

Funny, he mentioned my father because what he did that day, went down in history.

Everything was starting to make more sense.

I wasn’t going to leave my family. Unlike him, I was prepared to take everybody with me when I got the fuck on down.

I had enough money to start a new life anywhere I wanted.

I heard more movement getting closer to us.

I cocked my gun, committing to my decision.

“Hell yeah, you're his. I can see it in your eyes. Get the hell out of here. And tell yo’ daddy Slim says we even,” he whispered. “CLEAR!” he yelled loud enough for them to hear throughout the house.

“This way.” He led me to the back exit of the house, and I didn’t ask no fucking questions.

I got my ass out of there as quickly as I could.

I hopped the fence in the back, circled around, and got in my car.

My heart rate didn’t slow down until I was on the highway and heading home.

I guess two parents sent in doves today.

It was crazy to me that even from behind bars, my father had saved my ass like that.

When I pulled into my driveway, I blew out a deep sigh of relief.

It was over. All of this was behind me, and now it was time to move on.

Inside that door was my whole heart, and I was obligated to not only protect them but live a life that didn’t cause harm to them.

I was ready. They deserved my best and I would give it to them because I couldn’t handle losing any one of them.

My legs were filled with lead as I walked toward the door. I didn’t want to tell MJ this or did I really know how. When I cracked the door, Dyami was the first to see me. Her face was horrified.

“Marcos! What happened? What happened, baby?” Her voice was frantic.

There was no way she heard about shit that fast. Her voice alerted everyone in the house, and then I heard shuffling from all areas.

She pushed me into the bathroom so no one could see me.

As soon as I looked in the mirror, I saw why she tried to hide me.

Blood splatters were still on my face and shirt.

“She gone.” I said, simply.

“What? Who?” Her eyes widened. She gripped my shoulders to try to focus me, but all I could feel was the incredible weight of the pain my son would grow up feeling.

The emptiness he would feel when other children would be able to turn to a biological mother, and he wouldn’t.

It was fucked up. Knowing that I could do nothing to change the pain he would feel stabbed me in the heart.

I tried to hold myself together, but in that moment, I did something I vowed I’d never do in my life.

I cried in front of my woman. I threw my hands over my face.

She pulled them down quickly and pulled me into her arms. She ran her hands up and down my back to soothe me.

Being able to land in a soft place without judgment for what felt like the first time in my life, the waves of tears were hard to stop.

MJ would have the same hardships I had to endure, and when I could have aided it in some way, I didn’t.

I could have kept her put up in some way.

I let my anger override, and that would be a regret for the rest of my life.

Dyami pulled me back, and the shame of the tears staining my face made me turn away quickly.

“No, it’s okay. Baby, tell me what happened.

” Her voice was like a caress, threatening to make me go there again.

Then I realized I had never shed a tear in my adult life.

Not about anything. Even when I lost niggas.

She made me comfortable in my vulnerability, and comfort at a time like this was the last thing I thought I would feel.

When I didn’t respond, she didn’t push for an answer.

She took off my blood-stained shirt. She grabbed a washcloth and cleaned my face.

I saw swirls of red when she placed the towel under the water.

Then her hands were back on me, chipping my exterior piece by piece.

She wrapped me up in a hug. Her touch belonged to me.

Her gentleness was enough to help me lift this weight, not just for myself, but also for MJ.

“Crystal. He killed her.” I whispered.

She separated from me and looked into my face. Immediately, she blinked back tears. That hit my heart even more. Both our minds were on the same thing. If I had any second thoughts that she was my one, that removed all doubt.

“I should have done more,” I admitted.

“You can’t think about that! You were keeping MJ safe. What if he had been with her? This was a hard situation, Marcos. Right now, all we need to think about is getting MJ through this. We all have to be there for him.”

I was trying to hear what she said, but in the pit of my stomach, I knew there were a few things I could have done better. I leaned back against the wall, trying to prolong the inevitable. I doubt that at four, MJ would fully understand this.

“Shit.” She cursed and pulled a tissue to wipe her tears. She discarded the tissue in the bin and extended her hand in my direction. I took the cue as we walked out of the bathroom hand in hand.

We ran smack dab into my mother, who I could tell was pacing. She was in the living room, alone. She made haste to us.

“I sent everybody to the back of the house. What is going on?” Her eyes were desperate, and her voice anxious.

“Crystal. She gone.” It was still so hard to say that shit, especially when I knew I had to say it a few more times.

“Jesus!” My mother threw her hands on her forehead and sat on the couch.

“Dammit! I knew she was playing a dangerous game! My MJ.” She was in tears, thinking about the person this would hit the hardest, just as we had.

“I gotta tell him,” I said.

“You want us to come with you?” Dyami asked, with my hand still in hers.

“No. I got him.”

I left the ladies in the living room and found MJ in the kitchen with Trina, Chubby, and Chante. When I came into the room, everyone stopped talking. Chubby was the first to stand.

“Bruh.” He approached me, leaving an open-ended invitation to speak. My eyes floated to MJ, who was already out of his seat and on his way to me.

“It’s over. Everybody can go home.” I said, and Chubby locked eyes with me.

“Hey, Daddy. Can we play Roblox?” MJ asked. I looked at him and gave him a faint smile.

“Aye, man. Go to your room. We need to talk.”

“Okay,” MJ said happily. The cheer in his voice fucked with me.

“She didn’t make it?” Chubby whispered only loud enough for me to hear.

I confirmed his inquiry with a head shake and walked to MJ’s room. I hovered outside his door for a moment, giving him the time to bask in bliss as he went immediately to his toys in the corner.

“Come here, baby. Sit down.” I beckoned him.

“What’s up, Dad?” He asked, bouncing over.

“It’s your mom.” My words stopped short as he looked at me with bright eyes.

I looked upward and prayed for the strength to tell him this and to be the guidance he needed to get through one of the most challenging conversations I would have to have with him.

I was so happy I had an army of support outside of that door, because after this, we both would need it.