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Dads been gone for three months. I was right, everything is different.

Seth and I used to play games in the living room all the time, sometimes Leah would join in and we would all have a blast. Seth always talking animatedly about his day, telling jokes and messing around.

Leah would scold him when he got to out of hand, but she'd always be smiling at him despite her own struggles.

We'd all get into playful arguments and tease each other relentlessly.

Mum would laugh at our antics before telling us to knock it off and come eat dinner.

Dad would just grin at our protests whilst sitting in his arm chair reading one of his books.

Those were good times. It's nice to remember when everything was normal.

But, this all feels like it happened a lifetime ago.

Seth and Leah are hardly ever in the house.

In fact after dads death I didn't see them at all for three weeks.

The only exception to that was dads funeral.

Only, they weren't at the front with me and mum, they were standing at the back with Sam?

! I mean, they were with the Quileute boys which included Sam.

But still. What the heck?! They disappear for days only to show up to dads funeral alongside Leah's ex-fiancé.

I mean, Leah hates him. Why on earth would she be standing with their group?

After Sam dumped her for our cousin right before their wedding, Leah swore she would never talk to him ever again, nor ever give him the time of day.

So what changed? Why were they all buddy buddy?

It doesn't make any sense. And why was Seth with them?

We all heard the rumours. It didn't matter how much dad tried to defend them.

Everyone saw them as a 'gang'. So why on earth would my little brother be involved with them?

Leah's done some questionable things in the past but dragging Seth with her?

I don't get it. There was one big main question I wanted to ask them back then "Why are you standing at the back with your friends?

Instead of at the front with your family. "

I had so many questions. But none of them were ever answered.

None. And believe me, I tried to get answers.

But everyone just brushed me off. It was like I didn't matter.

Seth and Leah left the funeral as soon as it ended.

They never even came up to me. It was like I didn't exist to them.

After that, whenever I saw them, they avoided me like the plague.

They'd walk away and leave, not even giving me a chance to talk to them.

We were all grieving, I understood that, but did they have to abandon me.

Leave me behind. I'm their sister. We all lost our dad.

So why did I suddenly become a stranger to them.

Someone they actively avoided at all costs.

What happened? Did I do something wrong?

Do they blame me? I don't know what I did to upset them.

But it must have been something big. They've completely changed.

It's like, I don't have siblings anymore.

I tried talking to mum about Seth and Leah.

But she would always brush me off and she actively started to avoid me as well.

I never got anything out of her, other than "They are going through some stuff, and need to stay away for a while.

So just leave them be Pearl". She'd always say that to me like I'm the problem.

Like I'm inconveniencing her or something.

Whenever I tried to press and get more information, mum would snap at me and yell to "Go to your room!

" or "Stop bothering me!" or "I have better things to do than answer your stupid questions!

". She never yelled before dad died. She was always so kind to everyone.

Always calm and composed, no matter the situation.

I admired her for that. But she's different now.

It feels like I'm walking on egg shells around her, like she's a firecracker about to go off at any given moment.

The house feels like a war zone. I hate it.

Soon after Seth and Leah disappeared, mum started going out a lot too.

The first few times I asked where she went, but it always resulted in me getting yelled at for not "Minding my own business!

". So, eventually I stopped asking. More or less just started avoiding her.

Which was actually becoming increasingly easier, considering she was leaving more and more, and staying out for longer periods of time.

It took a while to figure out but eventually I concluded that mum was now working for the council and had taken up dads old position. Which meant that Seth and Leah were employed as 'Protectors', whatever that means.

I got used to it, being on my own. I won't say it didn't hurt. But, over time, the sharp pain I felt in my chest when thinking about my family, it dulled, becoming more of an ache. That, eventually, I grew used to.

When my siblings came home after three weeks, I thought that things would get better.

That was rather naive. They continued to act like I didn't exist. I gave them space at first but there's only so much ignoring one person can take.

So I started trying to talk to them. Leah would just snap at me and tell me to leave her alone.

Seth would always come up with some lame excuse as to why he can't talk to me at the moment.

Leah's always had a bit of a temper, so her snapping at me wasn't completely unusual.

But Seth has never acted like this before.

I'm completely lost as to why this is happening.

They both acted like me being around them was the last thing they wanted.

So they were always out of the house. And when they were in the house, they only ever hung out with mum.

It was like they had become a family of three. Like, I didn't belong here anymore.

Honestly, since losing dad it feels more and more like he took his family with him.

But decided to leave me behind. I don't recognise my own flesh and blood.

The people I've grown up with, spent all my time with, are gone.

And the longer this goes on. The more certain I am, that they are never, gonna come back.