Page 62 of Should Our Stars Collide

He can also see the moment a crack appears in Kieran’s armor.

“Thanks for the food, by the way,” Kieran mumbles, then clears his throat. Twice. Like he’s trying to cover it up.

Ash can’t keep the stupid, happy smile from appearing. “Was it to your liking?”

“You know it was, you smug bastard,” Kieran snaps, eyes flashing. “Stop smiling.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re so cute.” Oops, that one kinda slipped out.

“What did you just say to me?” Kieran demands, hands on his hips.

“I asked if you’re hungry. They’re serving dinner now.” Food—always a successful distraction.

This time is no exception. Kieran continues to try to set him on fire with his seething glare, but soon gives in.

“You better be on your best behavior,” he warns. “I know Krav Maga.”

“No, you don’t,” Ash argues, with the confidence of a man who’s witnessed his boyfriend wrestle with a ten-year-old girl over the last pack of Doritos and lose.

“Yes, I do!” Kieran cries, getting up and stomping forward. Assuming what’s probably meant to be a fighting stance, he brings up his fists. “You want me to show you—hey!”

Standing up and closing the distance in two swift strides, Ash reaches for him. In one fluid motion, he spins Kieran around, pinning his arms to his chest and pressing himself against his back.

Kieran goes still. Not like someone frozen in fear, but rather caught off guard by being so close to another person.

Ash leans in, slow and deliberate, until his lips hover just beside Kieran’s ear.

“Go on. Show me,” he prompts, letting his voice drop, smooth and quiet.

The shiver that rolls down Kieran’s spine is subtle, but unmistakable. Ash can feel it in his own body, and it makes it impossible to pull away. So he doesn’t. Because Kieran isn’t pushing him away, isn’t protesting, even though Ash has kept his hold on him light enough that it wouldn’t take much to escape it. Not if he really tried.

He lets his breath ghost over Kieran’s skin. Lets his lips graze, featherlight and deceptively accidental, over the shell of his ear. Just to see if he’ll react like he always does. If his body already remembers, despite his mind being different.

“Show me, Kieran.”

Oh, it remembers alright.

Ash can hear Kieran’s breath hitch, his heart speed up. A nearly imperceptible gasp slips past his lips, but for Ash it’s louder than a roll of thunder.

Unable to resist, a tendril of his consciousness reaches inside Kieran’s mind. He smiles at the feeling, the familiarity of it. He’s touched Kieran’s mind so many times, sometimes it feels like he belongs there. Like there’s no difference between Kieran’s mind and his own.

Despite already suspecting what he might come across, he’s still not prepared. The thoughts that play out might as well be a memory.

The scene mirrors their current position, blurring the line between what’s real and what is just a product of Kieran’s imagination. Ash watches himself slide one of his hands lower, fingers dancing above Kieran’s waistband. It slips under the hem of his shirt, caressing the skin there. Teasing, unhurried. In the scene, Kieran’s head falls back on Ash’s shoulder, his breath coming out in heavy puffs. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes closed tight and crinkling at the corners. He looks exactly the same as he does when Ash touches him in real life. So lovely and sweet. So painfully responsive to the slightest touch. It’s in direct contradiction to what most people expect him to be like—cold, unyielding, hard to please.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Kieran, especially this Kieran who hasn’t been doted on for the past two years, is so starved for touch, for affection, that he crumbles at the smallest display of it.

In Kieran’s mind, Ash’s hand traces an invisible line up the center of his chest. It grazes over a nipple, brief and barely there, but Kieran jolts as if he’s been touched by a livewire. The beginnings of a beautifully desperate moan start forming in his chest, but Ash steals it away before it gets a chance to burst out. He takes Kieran’s jaw in a gentle yet firm grip, tilts his head up and slots their mouths together.

The scene comes to a stark halt, like someone drawing the curtains closed after a final act.

Kieran freaked himself out, as is his habit.

Ash smiles, so stupidly in love with this endearingly frustrating man.