Page 56 of Should Our Stars Collide

Ash is willing to bet that Kieran will instinctively know what he means.

The following ten seconds are one of the longest of Ash’s life. And then, finally, Kieran speaks. It’s quiet and pained. And, above everything, relieved.

“Just…gimme a fucking break.”

A shaky exhale rocks through Ash’s body.

“Alright. Take your time. I’ll be around if you need anything.”

No answer. Not that he’s expecting one.

Ash sits his pathetic ass down, watching the azure water. Jesus, how did he manage to almost completely destroy the best two years of his life by making one desperate, hasty decision? If he doesn’t tread very carefully, this will truly be over before he can say ‘time-travel, bitch’. That can’t happen. He won’t allow it. Not a chance.

Careful with those thoughts, you psycho,a voice inside his head says. It sounds suspiciously like Kieran’s. It almost makes him laugh.

In an attempt to distract himself, he reaches for his phone to engage in some doomscrolling. Might be wise to check his emails and texts too. He’s barely touched his phone since they departed Brisbane, wanting to invest all his energy into this little getaway.

The first notification he comes across makes him smile wide, some of the heaviness falling off his shoulders. He clicks on it and is instantly greeted with a photo of his most favorite people. It had obviously been taken at Dawson’s exhibition. If not from the background, Ash can still tell by Dawson’s beaming face combined with a slight deer-caught-in-the-headlights-look. He’s practically glued to Cal’s side, who has an arm wrapped around him protectively and is smiling awkwardly at the camera. Hilarious. Two years and he still has stuff to figure out when it comes to acting human.

Despite multiple reassurances from Dawson, Ash still feels a little bad about not being able to attend, especially because Kieran was so bummed about it. After watching his best friend struggle for years, unable to do what he loved, he wanted to be there on the big day. But when they tried to reschedule their vacation, Dawson wouldn’t hear of it. According to him, anniversaries are sacred. It’s completely understandable why he feels that way, after everything.

On Dawson’s other side, arms linked, is Olivia, her two kids plastered to her leg and making silly faces. Ash has only met her a couple of times, and was taken aback each time by how much she reminded him of Kieran. Stubborn as a mule and not to be fucked with, but hiding a heart of gold.

When he’d shared that little observation with Kieran, he inadvertently unleashed a huge green-eyed monster. It was admittedly hilarious to watch Kieran lose his shit, banning Ash from ever meeting Olivia if he’s not present. The reminder that Ash is one big rainbow flag didn’t help much.

“You destroyed my heterosexuality. Who’s to say the same won’t happen to you?”Kieran argued.

“Someone destroying my…homosexuality?”

“Exactly!”

Good god. How can someone be so lovable, crazy, and hilarious at the same time?

Great. Here he is, thinking of Kieran again when he’s trying to distract himself.

He redirects his focus back to the photo.

Next to Cal are Ellis and Gabe, and the sight of them makes Ash laugh. Gabe has his trademark hundred kilowatt smile going on, as if he’s the one celebrating something. Ellis’ smile is a lot more reserved and softer, aimed directly at Gabe instead of the camera. The fact they’re both dressed up so formally makes it look like it’s their wedding reception. Honestly, Ash is surprised neither of them has popped the question yet. His bet is on Gabe going for it first. He’s a little ball of impatience, after all.

Speaking of popping the question?—

A new notification comes through right then. An email sent to Ash’s personal inbox, the subject line drawing his attention instantly.

TIME-TRAVEL BULLSHIT UPDATE, BEAR WITH IT

Oh. Kieran had recorded a message for him. That’s…good, right? It doesn’t mean something bad is about to happen.

He clicks theplaybutton with a shaky finger, but all anxiety leaves him once he sees Kieran’s beautiful, grinning face.

“Hey, pervert.”

His heart skips a beat. Jesus, it hasn’t even been a day and he’s missed their banter so much. “Hey, baby.”

Kieran’s grin widens like he can hear him, before his expression becomes a little pinched. Almost apologetic.“You might’ve figured it out already, but you’re in for a rough time. My old self is not gonna make it easy for you.”

“Shocking.”

“To be fair, it’s all your fault. You should’ve been nicer to me when we met.”