Page 171 of Should Our Stars Collide

“Have you hurt him?”

“Not…that I know of? But it’s the principle. He’d probably stay even if I did. That’s not what I want either.”

“You don’t want people to leave when things get tough,” Ash recaps. “But you also don’t want them to stay when they don’t want to stay, and might be sticking around out of obligation.”

“That’s pretty on point,” Kieran agrees, then flashes an impressed smile. “You’re not half bad at this therapy thing.”

“I’m incredibly flattered,” Ash deadpans, but his own smile gives him away. Heisflattered, that’s the thing. Kieran, rightfully so,despises therapists, yet he’s here, pouring his heart out.TrustingAsh.

“As you can see, I don’t tend to get attached to people. I keep my distance, keep it lukewarm. I don’t want to get used to something just for it to be ripped away.” Another of those intense, soul-staring looks. “So you can bet your ass that when I do find something worth the risk of having my heart broken, I’m gonna fight for it. And I won’t stop until I have it. Ever.”

Ash gulps. That speech was easily skirting the edge of a threat—could easily lay grounds for a restraining order—but fuck if it didn’t make his heart race. And his dick hard. At least his legs are already crossed.

“I see,” he replies, oh so eloquently. Given how most of his blood has accumulated south of the border, no one can really blame him.

Seemingly satisfied, Kieran slaps his thighs and stands up. “Well, thank you for your assistance in my trauma processing. I feel much better now, so I’ll be on my way.” With that, he winks, casually strolling towards the door, as if he didn’t just shake Ash’s barely-preserved control apart with an intensity that registered on the Richter scale.

And now he’s going to leave?

Like, yeah, sure, Ash could use a break from the emotional turmoil, but he could also use answers to some important questions. Not to mention that, for all intents and purposes, thisisa therapy session. One that Kieran is walking out of in the middle, without having tied all the loose ends together. He has reopened old wounds without giving Ash a chance to help him close them, and that worries him. But he doubts Kieran would be interested in continuing the session for the sake of therapy. Still, there is one thing on his mind.

“Kieran?” He waits until Kieran turns around. “Can you give me the names of the therapists you saw as a kid?”

Kieran does a double-take before huffing a laugh. “How am I supposed to remember? Ask my mum.”

“Fine. Give me her number.”

The humor vanishes from Kieran’s face. “The fuck you wanna know the names for?”

“Personal reasons.” And professional ones too, because people like that should not be allowed to practice.

“What, are you gonna rock up on their doorstep with a bat?”

“I was thinking crowbar.”

Kieran stills, realizing it isn’t a joke. He’s not the only one with stalking skills…

“Fuck, you’re so…” He closes his eyes, clenching and unclenching his hands, breathing through some internal battle. Whether he wins or loses is unclear—and Ash never learns what‘he’s so’either.

He does, however, pray for his life when Kieran’s eyelids snap open, and he marches towards Ash like a man about to ruin him.

And ruin him, he does.

“Kie—” The rest dissolves into Kieran’s mouth as he drops into Ash’s lap and kisses him like a man possessed. Or maybe like a man who’s finally run out of patience.

It’s fierce and unguarded, a surge of everything that’s been kept at bay.

It’s two stars colliding.

Kieran kisses him like he’s angry; perhaps angry about wanting him, about having to wait for so long. He tastes of heat and defiance, but there’s something unbearably sweet too, and his hands are bracketing Ash’s jaw like he’s something fragile. The contrast is startling, addictive.

It’s all the things Ash loves wrapped in one.

His own hands come up, perhaps with the intention of putting a stop to this. But the second his fingers brush Kieran’s back, every last drop of sense evaporates. He drags him closer instead, clinging onto everything he’s been trying to fight. The world narrows to the sound of their heartbeats, and the impossible feeling of being wanted this much.

How did he ever think there might be a universe where he could win against Kieran?

In an act of surrender, he kisses him back.