Page 155 of Should Our Stars Collide

“I beg your fucking pardon?” Kieran demands. “Did you just blow me off?”

Ash flinches, maybe from guilt, maybe from something else Kieran doesn’t give a flying fuck about.

“I’m sorry for confusing you. I misjudged the situation. I didn’t mean to mess with your feelings.”

“Misjudged the situation,” Kieran echoes, voice dripping with derision. “Misjudged how? Suddenly I’m not fuckable enough for you?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Ash says quietly.

“Then what are you sayingexactly?Because I don’t understand a single fucking word.”

Kieran’s nails dig into his palms, the pain distracting him from the burning in his eyes. His chest is tight as if there’s a boulder sitting on top of him, and pulling in air hurts his lungs. Chaos reigns inside his head, each panicked thought trying to win over the next, creating an incomprehensible mess.

The familiar scent of roasted almonds cuts through to him.

“Kieran. Kieran,breathe.” Ash’s hand is on the side of his neck, warm and steady, grounding him. “Nice, deep breaths.”

It feels like breathing in scorching air, but he does as he’s told. It’s always easier if Ash tells him to do it.

“I don’t get you,” he gasps out once he’s regained some control of his voice. “How did you change your mind overnight?” He can hear the desperation in his voice, but can’t bring himself to care. He doesn’t even care that everyone in the café and in the street is probablywatching them. He rests his forehead against Ash’s chest, not missing how hard his heart is pounding.

“I thought I had you all figured out,” Ash tells him, fingers stroking his hair. “That I knew what you needed, and that I could give it to you. I was wrong.”

Kieran looks up. “No. I?—”

“You’ll forget about me soon enough,” Ash interrupts. “And I’ll make sure not to show my face around here too much. Take care, Kieran.” With that, he kisses Kieran’s temple, lingering way too long for someone who’s set on disappearing from his life, and leaves.

Just. Like. That.

“Wait.” By the time he gathers himself, Ash is gone. Kieran stays rooted to the same spot, feeling completely, utterly lost.

His gaze wanders aimlessly, as if he could find an answer, an explanation written somewhere. He locks eyes with Gabe through the café window. He can’t imagine what he looks like right now, but Gabe rounds the counter, walking towards the door, and that finally prompts Kieran to move. He doesn’t even know how he’d start to explain himself if he got bombarded with questions. How would he explain that he spent weeks in his future, only to come back and find out that future is forever gone? Like everything else in his life he ever believed could be his to keep. He was stupid for thinking this time would be different.

He wipes away tears and runs.

36

Kieran’s life has officially become a soap opera. Drama, traumatic childhood, falling for the guy you hate only to be rejected later…

And now, sitting on the beach you used to go to with said guy (who rejected you) and pathetically staring at the horizon while reminiscing about the good old—well, future days.

How. Humiliating. And yet, he can’t bring himself to move. The beach looks the same, as does the tide and the sun slowly making its climb to the centre of the sky. Even the net where the handsy guy played volleyball with his friends is still there, though it’s currently being used by a group of teenage girls. Still, he can almost pretend Ash has just gone to get them some water or snacks and will be back soon.

That’s what he’s been telling himself for the past hour, unable to accept the reality.

Ash isn’t coming back, becausetheyaren’t real. Never were. And now they never will be.

Worst thing is, Kieran can’t even go to anyone. Can’t talk to anyone. What would he say? No matter that almost everyone in his life is apparently some freaky, supernatural being—this would be too much. How would he prove it, anyway?

He’s on his own. As always.

Someone passes near him, sand flying in his face. He flinches away, the scent of cherry blossoms and hair spray hitting his nose. Huh. Thatcombo is kinda familiar…

“Hey, jerkface.”

Kieran’s head snaps up, a mane of blonde hair the first thing he notices. The scowl is the next.

Jess.