Page 173 of Should Our Stars Collide

“I had some help.” He lets out a sheepish chuckle. “My annoying friend gave me a kick in the butt.”

Ash waits, in case there’s more. “Is that all it took?”

“Pretty much.” He sneaks a quick glance at Gabe, who’s way toofocused on coffee-making to notice. A love-struck smile blooms on his lips. “I already knew I wanted to be with him; it was just my stupid inferiority complex holding me back.”

Ash appreciates the self-reflection, but this doesn’t really help him. He’s well-aware of his own pitfalls. Kinda comes with the territory. The problem is: how does he move forward despite—or ratherwith—them?

“Weren’t you worried you might hurt him?”

Ellis’ eyes snap to him, and for a second, Ash detects a flash of defensiveness. He doesn’t know what kind of expression he is making, but it gives Ellis pause. He scrutinizes Ash’s face, lips parting on a small, silent “Oh.” Then his gaze softens, filling with sympathy.

Ash fidgets. So this is what it feels like when someone reads your mind.

“I was terrified,” Ellis admits. “He’s the most amazing person in the world, and I had the power to break his heart.”

Yeah, Ash can relate all too well.

“What made you take the risk?”

He appreciates that Ellis doesn’t respond right away, thinking it through thoroughly.

“It will sound contradictory…” he begins, weighing each word. “But one thing about Gabriel is that whenever I am with him, it’s like I’m a different person. Not pretending to be someone I’m not, but more like…the person I always wanted to be. A little braver, a little kinder, and a whole lot happier.” On cue, his face transforms with a big smile. “I think that’s how you know someone is the one. When being with them makes you a better version of yourself.”

Gabe calls out a name, handing over a drink to the lady who comes to collect it and wishing her a good day. Before he goes back behind the machine, he shares a look with Ellis, their expressions equally smitten, and sends him a wink.

Ellis blushes and drops his gaze, then lifts it towards Ash with a crooked smile.

“After I met him, I became someone who could never hurt him.It’s…a bit of a paradox.”

“I see.”

Ash sighs. As sickeningly sweet as that all is, it doesn’t help him in the slightest. He believes every word out of Ellis’ mouth, but the man is a unicorn. If the years of providing therapy has taught Ash something, it’s that people do nasty shit to the people they claim to love. Not necessarily because they have ill intentions, but because they’re too driven by their own pain and trauma, constantly trying to protect themselves from getting hurt. Even if the price for staying safe is hurting the other person. People do stupid shit out of fear, and at the moment, Ash is scared. Terrified, really.

“Does your person make you better too?”

The question throws Ash off. Not because Ellis clearly caught on, but because he never stopped to ask himself the same thing.

Now that he does, the answer comes quickly. Irrefutably.

“On the contrary. He brings out the worst, darkest parts of me.” He almost laughs at the concern written all over Ellis’ face. “He also makes me feel uprooted. And scared.”

Ellis dips his chin in a nod. “That makes sense too. Isn’t this what you do every day at work? You bring out other people’s shadows so they can work on them consciously? It’s not good to suppress stuff like that.”

The unexpected wisdom makes Ash arch an eyebrow. “Couples really do start to resemble each other.”

Ellis chuckles, one of his hands coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “Gabriel has a way of rubbing off on people.”

Another name is called, Gabe holding out a paper cup and bag. The man who steps forward to take them from him seems serious and tense, but once met with Gabe’s beaming smile and wish for a good day, the air around him shifts. His shoulders unclench, and a ghost of a smile appears on his lips as he thanks him.

“He sure does.” Ash might’ve drawn the short stick when it comes to his parents, but he sure won the cousin lottery.

“Does your person know you might hurt him?”

Ash’s eyes slide shut. “Yes.”

“And he’s okay taking the risk?”

“So he says. But I’m not.” Especially given Kieran’s negative self-image and lack of interest in his own wellbeing.