Page 172 of Should Our Stars Collide

Kieran’s breath catches, his fingers twitch, and then the kiss shifts. It turns into something slower, deeper, unbearably tender. Ash feelshim tremble, just faintly, and that honest, vulnerable reaction shatters him more than the heat ever could. It’s everything Kieran’s been so careful about not saying out loud.

When Kieran whispers his name, this quiet, wrecked sound, Ash feels it settle in the place where all his careful restraint used to live. That place, together with everything else, now belongs to Kieran.

By the time they part, Ash’s hands are clenched tight in Kieran’s shirt, their foreheads pressed together. Kieran’s thumb brushes along his jaw in a touch so soft it almost hurts.

“Don’t you get it?” he murmurs, voice hoarse and shaky. “It’s you. It’s always been you, even before I knew it.” He presses a lethally tender kiss to the corner of Ash’s mouth. “No one gets me like you do. No one else can give me what I need. So how can you say you’re not good enough for me? If it’s not you, then who else?”

He’s doing it again. That thing where he reaches all the way inside Ash’s soul and offers him all the things he’s only ever dreamed of having. Things hecan’thave because of who he is.

“I’m not a good person.” Manipulative, controlling, obsessive, possessive—that’s the kind of person he is. And people might like it in small doses, even crave it, but he’s not meant for the long run. He’s been in this business for far too long not to recognize how dangerous he could turn out to be.

“Who gives a shit?” Kieran growls, grabbing him by the collar and giving it a yank. “You’re my person. You’remine.” He glares at him for a long moment, before the heat sizzles out of his eyes. He sighs, leaning in to brush their lips together. “We could be so good together, Ash. You have no idea.”

Ash swallows through an avalanche of emotions. “I have some idea.” Way too many, in fact.

Kieran’s mouth twitches, but he hides it quickly. Gathering his feet under him in a very ungraceful, dorky manner, he makes a show of straightening his clothes, staring Ash down.

“You know where I live,” he says. “And since I booked this very eye-opening session online, you have my number too. Hit me up whenyou get your shit together, yeah?”

He doesn’t dawdle this time, leaving Ash’s office in a rush.

Ash doesn’t move for a very long time, asking himself over and over if all of this really happened. But his heart is still beating a hundred times a minute, his lips still tingling from Kieran’s kisses, and the places he touched burn hotter than the rest. Yeah, this happened alright.

It’s what happens next that he has no idea about. For the first time in his life, he wishes that instead of his ability, he could see the future instead.

40

One morning atLost and Ground,when Ash feels at his wit’s end, he does something he rarely ever does: seek advice.

“Can I ask you something?”

Ellis’ back straightens like a ruler, and he glances cautiously at Ash. A fair reaction, given that Ash has been nothing but a tease ever since Ellis and Gabe started dating. In Ash’s defense, he’s never properly met any of Gabe’s partners. How could he possibly pass up the opportunity to make them both squirm? And Ellis isso easyto wind up.

That’s not what Ash is trying to do right now, though.

“Yeah, sure,” Ellis agrees, ever the diplomat. His gaze flicks nervously over to the coffee machine where Gabe is working on the drinks, no doubt praying his coffee will be ready any second so he can escape.

Ash almost feels bad, but he has bigger problems to solve.

Like the fact that he finally decided to be a man and stop avoiding Kieran. He still has no idea where to go from here—mentally, he’s stuck in his office on the day Kieran showed up and annihilated every shred of normalcy from his life. It’s been over a week, and an answer has yet to fall into his lap.

So no, he doesn’t have answers, or direction, but he still has some semblance of dignity and enough self-awareness to admit that Kieran has forever lodged himself under his skin. And that, despite all his bigtalk, he’s unable to let Kieran go. Selfish and hypocritical, indeed. But what is he to do?

So, he’s resumed his visits toLost and Ground,hoping against hope that they’d run into each other. Take it from there. Step by step. Nice and slow.

Except Kieran has not rocked up once. Not here, not at bars (Ash can’t decide if that’s a good thing, or if it means he’s drinking himself stupid at home). It’s like he’s vanished. Maybe Ash is overreacting, but he can’t get Kieran’s story out of his head—the part where he said he likes being on his own because it’s easier than watching people leave him.

Would anyone even notice if something happened to him? He’s best friends with Dawson, but Dawson is currently busy trying to come to terms with the fact that his husband is a reaper, so there’s that. And knowing Kieran, he probably wouldn’t even bother reaching out for help, believing he’d just be inconveniencing him.

It’s not like Ash can just call him to check on him. ‘Oh, hey, it’s the guy who’s been dragging his feet and sending mixed messages. I’m worried sick about you. You good? Great, bye. Let’s not get too close.’

Yeah, no.

Mourning the simple, yet slightly boring life he used to lead before Kieran barged into it, he asks, “What made you choose Gabe? How did you get over yourself?”

Slightly rude, but he doesn’t have the bandwidth to beat around the bush. At least Ellis doesn’t seem the type to get offended by the smallest things. Plus, he’s an ex-closeted bi man with many hang-ups who, after some drama, got over himself. Ash would have every right to be concerned for Gabe’s wellbeing.

After the initial surprise, Ellis’ dumbstruck expression gives way to something solemn and soft.