Page 51 of Should Our Stars Collide

Since what he gets is Kieran, he can’t really complain.

“You know what? You were right. This isn’t too bad,” Kieran admits halfway through his second margarita. For someone who’s just learned he’s been sucked into his future and is dating a man, he seems pretty relaxed; spread out on a lounger by the pool, a pair of sunnies on his nose and a slightly tipsy smile on his lips. After two years of only touching alcohol on occasion, and only under the condition that he’s feeling good instead of shitty before he drinks, he’ll have his head down the toilet in no time if he doesn’t watch it.

“Glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Ash comments, hopefully not too dryly. “Maybe you could enjoy yourself at a slower pace?”

“Why? It’s free.”

“Well, you only have one liver.”

“With three lobes. Only need one to survive.”

“That’s not—” He stops himself. Gosh, this makes him feel so conflicted. He loves Kieran’s snarky nature, loves how Kieran challenges him at every turn, but the circumstances are less than ideal. If this was his Kieran—scratch that;presentKieran, because Kieran is his no matter what—Ash would find a hundred and one ways to deal with him. But these are uncharted waters. This Kieran doesn’t trust him. Doesn’t know him. Hell, he probably doesn’t even like him. Notenough for it to matter.

Okay, desperate times…

“Be right back,” Ash lets him know as he gets to his feet. “Need to pop to the restroom.”

“You don’t need to tell me every single thing,” Kieran says, scowling.

He’s really not holding himself back with the defiant act, and Ash’s Pavlovian reflexes respond accordingly. Sometimes present Kieran will do this too. Crank up the heat just to see how far he can push it before Ash snaps. It usually ends with Kieran crying and writhing and begging, promising it’s never gonna happen again.

The promise generally lasts a few weeks before he gets bored and starts testing Ash again. The little brat.

Ash highly doubts that’s what Kieran’s trying to do right now. Except his nervous system can’t identify the difference, making him react like a well-trained dog. His fingers tingle and itch to reach for Kieran, grab hold of him and show him exactly what consequences his actions will lead to. To show him who he belongs to.

Not this time. Not this Kieran. So calm the hell down.

Clenching and unclenching his hand, he heads towards the restrooms. With a glance over his shoulder to confirm that Kieran’s not paying him any mind, he changes direction and walks up to the bar instead.

“Hey, Jyoti.” He shoots the bartender his trademark, charming smile.

“Hey. Starting early today, I see.” She nods in the direction of the pool, where Kieran is just throwing back whatever is left in his glass.

Ash sighs. “Yeah, about that… From now on, when an order comes in, can you leave out the tequila?” He grimaces, feeling bad for going behind Kieran’s back. Definitely not his proudest moment.

Jyoti’s eyebrow rises minutely, but she nods. “You got it.”

“Thank you.”

“Lovers’ quarrel?”

“Not quite.” He keeps it vague, figuring that tryingto explain that his boyfriend time-traveled here from the past might be a little above her pay grade.

Making his way back, Ash’s stomach drops when he glances over just in time to see Kieran charging toward the pool before leaping in.

“Kieran!” he shouts, earning a few looks, but he couldn’t care less. He hurries over, letting out a huge breath of relief when Kieran resurfaces, seemingly unscathed. “Are you out of your mind? Get out.”

Kieran blinks, then glares at Ash so hard it’s surprising he doesn’t catch fire. “Fuck you! You can’t tell me what to do.”

Oh man, it’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull. “I can, and I am. Get out. Right now.”

For a brief moment, Kieran hesitates. Motionless, uncertain. The pause hits Ash with the force of a lorry running on guilt.

This Kieran doesn’t know the rules. He doesn’t understand their dynamic, didn’t agree to it. He's unaware of his own submissive nature, yet there’s something in the way he responds to Ash. Something that, despite the confusion, makes him want to listen, to give in.

He’s always been like that, even two years ago. If the circumstances were different, Ash would find that reluctant eagerness utterly disarming.

Finally, after a long, tense moment, Kieran licks his slightly trembling lips and demands, “What the fuck is your problem?” It doesn’t come out as stern as he might’ve intended, the emotional push and pull likely messing with his head.