Page 21 of Free Fall

All right. Allright.

I can hook up with him again then without much worry now. I mean, I should have known he was okay with kids by the way Jeanie greeted him so enthusiastically, but you never know.

Maybe I should test him with a dog too, though? Just to be sure.

I cough lightly into my hand. What iswrongwith me? I’m getting way, way,wayahead of myself. But why would Dan tellRye about me unless he was thinking of the future too? I mean, therehasto be something there, right?

Yeah, that I’m a good fuck.

That’s about it. What else can he say about me? We don’t know each other from Adam. I’m really getting loopy out here in the “wilderness” without a man to suck my dick regularly. One stellar orgasm—okay, four—and I’m practically buying wedding bands in my imagination.

Get a grip, Sejin! He lives in a van, for fuck’s sake. There is no long-term potential here.

The kids finish out their song, and by the time they do, they’re sweaty, pink-cheeked, and grinning. We’re surrounded by applauding parents on all sides. Lila has returned, holding Heather’s hand, and she stares sullenly at the other kids instead of clapping for them. I’m not surprised. Lila also loves this song and she missed it. Bodily functions! Always getting in the way of fun.

I’m inundated with moms and a few dads wanting to tell me stories about their kids dancing to the songs at home, or singing them in restaurants, or what have you. Taking out my ponytail, I shake my hair. The weight off my head feels amazing and the tickle of hair on my shoulders feels cool and soothing on my hot skin. I can feel Dan’s eyes on me, and when I glance over, he’s licking his lips. I laugh at something little Marshall Miller is telling his mom although I’m not even sure what it is. I’m so busy putting on a show for Dan’s benefit of being the best preschool Movement teachereverthat it goes right over my head. But my reaction must be appropriate because everyone else laughs too.

I feel a rush of effervescent giddiness as I interact with the kids and their parents, and I hope that Dan finds me dazzling. I don’t know why I suddenly feel like every move I make is exaggerated and enlivened by his attention, but I do. I continue on like this for four, five, maybe even eight minutes, until Ifinally dare to glance back to where he’s been standing in order to gauge his reaction to me.

Only to find he’s gone.

Yup, Jeanie, Rye, and Dan have all left the party, and I’m here being adorable for parents who already think I’m cute.

The let-down is accompanied by a rush of heat to my cheeks. I’m a fool. A silly, ridiculous, recently-fucked fool. At least I’m the only one who knows it, though. I can be an idiot inside my own head all I want. I just don’t want to be an idiot outside my head. Much.

I suppose calling myself a Movement teacher and then helping preschoolers learn KPop choreo is pretty silly-looking to most outsiders, but it makes me happy and happiness is what matters most. Or so my mother told me near the end.

Why do I keep thinking of her today?

I try to keep my smile as light, twinkling, and charming as possible before I beg off from any more chatting with the moms and the sole dad who have stuck around. I have my next job to get to, and Pete will dock my pay if I’m late. Or at least threaten to…

Pete and Celli are working together behind the counter when I arrive at the coffee shop. I hustle in and check the schedule. Gage is off today so Celli is probably bummed. But, hey, Ashley will be coming in when Pete takes off around dinner time, and she always makes me laugh with her snarky observations of our patrons and I can’t complain about that.

I head into the back room to quickly change into my work uniform—a turquoise blue t-shirt withPapa Bearin handwritten font on the front, alongside a drawing of a roaring bear over my right pec—and I make sure my hair is tied back tight. Then I hustle out to the front to ask Pete where I should start.

“Bus the tables,” he says, nodding toward the café’s lightly occupied sitting area. “It’s been a busy day, and we’ve had no time.”

“Aye, aye,” I say, saluting him, and he rolls his eyes at me.

There are five booths along one side of the half-wall hiding the occupants from my sight. Next to them are ten scattered tables with a magnificent view of the mountains out the wide window behind them. Outside stand five wooden picnic tables and some round, metal ones too, with built-in metal chairs. But those often get so hot in the midday sun that we have to put out signs warning the customers to grab a pillow from the stack in a container by the door before sitting down at them.

I happily bus the cluttered tables. Ashley hates touching the used plates, glasses, and cutlery, but I don’t mind too much, and it gives my brain time to wander without having to deal with customer demands. It also feels good to have “made something right” whenever I wipe down a table and leave it ready for our next customer.

As I finish in the main room, I turn the corner of the half-wall to work on the booths, and I stop in my tracks. My mouth goes dry. My heart kicks again.

Given the expression on Dan’s face, he isn’t expecting to see me so soon either. Rye, for his part, just smirks and goes back to helping Jeanie. She’s tucked into the booth with her raggedy sheep stuffy, a coloring book, and a boba drink.

I crack a smile. “Are you following me?” I tease.

“No.” Dan frowns, eyes wide, seeming a little affronted.

“I was kidding.”

“Oh.” Dan relaxes and then mumbles something I can’t hear before sucking hard at his boba and chewing on the black tapioca beads.

I stand frozen for a second, confused, until Jeanie looks up, smiles happily, and breaks the silence.

“Dan is friends with Mommy,” she says by way of explanation. To whom, I’m not sure. Herself? Me? All of us? Probably all of us. “Mr. Sejin is friends withme. We can all be friends together.”