Page 14 of Free Fall

But still…

I really should get out of their hair soon. Any day now.

Leenie never complains. She takes my presence as easily as she takes everything else. Easy as pie, like my Grandma Helton used to say. I can still see her rocking in her La-Z-Boy chair, tinny gospel music playing from her old record player, explaining to me for the hundredth time how to crochet. “It’s easy as pie, doll baby,” she’d tell me. “Easy as pie.”

I never got it right, though, so maybe that’s not a good example.

But Leenie’s never made me feel like she’s in any kind of hurry for me to get out of here. That’s all on me. I just know I should.

Martin and Leenie kiss goodbye. He pecks the kids’ cheeks before sending me a salute. Then he’s out the door, and I hand over the spoon to Leenie and hightail it to the shower to claim the next batch of hot water.

It pours down on me like a blessing.

As I wash, I briefly consider what Leenie said about calling my father. She’s right that Ishouldcall him, but I’m right that I could just not, and we’d avoid another round of being awkward and sad together.

I hate awkward and sad.

After dismissing that train of thought, I tentatively feel my asshole. It’s a little tender, and I smile remembering the way Dan took me at my word, fucking me like I was a rag doll in his hands.Unnnfff.So good. Dan hadn’t seemed to think my height was any obstacle to manhandling my body into any position he wanted me. I’d felt breakable beneath him, like he could own me. Like he already did.

I shiver.

This weekend can’t come soon enough. There’s no way sex with Dan can possibly be as good the second time, but I’m willing to try. And it’s embarrassing how relieved I am that Dan seems to want me again too. His “seconds” comment had sent my stomach swooping in disappointment and mortification, but when he’d immediately flipped and agreed to another encounter, I’d been dizzy with a renewed rush of excitement and lust.

Even if it’s not as good as the first time, I’m certain there’s still tons of fun to be had together. Things we haven’t done yet. I haven’t fuckedhim, for example, and I’m very much up for that. My dick, rising against the heat of the shower, agrees.

With my hand wrapped around the base of my cock, I admit the truth. Part of me—deep down, where some odd kernel of golden light has ignited—feels a kind of tugging sensation. It’s hard to call it hope, but no other word comes to mind.

All I know is Dan—wow, I don’t even know his last name—has beautiful eyes and powerful hands. I know the way I felt while he fucked me is different than any other hookup I’ve ever experienced. And I know the way he kisses after he’s shot hisload, all slow and hot and wet, is something I don’t think I can ever get enough of…

And that’s all I know. But Isuspectso much more.

The seasonal tide is washing into Yosemite, bringing new fish into my figurative sea. Has it also brought me a seahorse? Only time will tell, but my heart whispersyes.

*

Dan

“Oh ho ho,friend. You gotlaid,” Rye says, laughing in that high-pitched way he hates. He’s been working on vocal training to change the tonality of his voice with a lot of success, but his spontaneous laughter is something he’s still wrangling.

“Yeah,” I say, stepping toward our meeting point at the start of the approach.

“Look at that smile.” He whistles. “Must have been a good night.”

“It was.”

The smile feels good on my lips. It’s been a while since anyone or anything—aside from sending a fresh route—has made me feel this clear and pure inside. Like ice melt running through my body, all tickly and rushing. I can’t stop thinking about Sejin, the sounds he made, the way he moved under me, and how his laugh had touched me like a physical thing.

There’s a lot of untraversed ground to cover with Sejin’s body, and somewhere on that ground must be the key, the one that’ll open that special smile up for me. I want it, and I’m determined to get what I want. Just like I’m determined to free solo and send Heart Route.

So, if Sejin’s game for another hookup or ten, then I’m game too.

I don’t think other men have ever made him come the way he did last night. He’d seemed overwhelmed by it, taken by surprise. Just like me. I’m not usually big on surprises, but this one intrigues me and what harm can it do to work his body over again and again until we both get what we want? For him, that’s orgasms that make him cry, obviously, and for me…

That smile. That particularly perfect smile.

“Anyone I know?” Rye asks.

I shrug. “Maybe. You know a lot of people.”