Page 101 of Free Fall

“What? I’m not an idiot, and I’ve considered it before. I just…” I point at the traverse. “It’s not like it’s an easy jot over to the ledge. It might make more sense to overshoot and then do a downclimb to it.”

Rye’s throat bobs with a convulsive swallow. Downclimbs are always difficult—fighting the pull of gravity like that—and during a free solo they’re considered exceptionally risky. But what about this routeisn’texceptionally risky?

“What’s the problem with the traverse?” he asks, cupping a hand over his eyes to look more closely at the route. “It’s got a decent-sized flake.”

“It’s not a stable one, though. The last thing I need is to pull the rock off and—” I use my hand to demonstrate my plunge to El Cap’s floor.

“It can’t be that unstable,” he insists. “Not as inherently unstable as downclimbing.”

Then he tries to demonstrate this to me by heading out onto the traverse. I watch quietly and don’t argue, but he’s not even six feet out there before the flake creaks ominously, and he looks up at me with wide eyes. “Fuck.”

I nod. “And I weigh more than you.”

“Yeah. Okay, so…the downclimb.” He makes his way back across with shaky hands. He might be strapped in, but pulling a rock off onto yourself can do real damage no matter the stability of the ropes.

“Is it worth the risk or do I just need to trust my training?” I ask.

“I don’t know. When I thought you could do the traverse, it made sense, but now…” Rye shakes his head and chalks up his fingers. “I just don’t know. It’s like eggs sunny-side up or over easy, you know? They’re both eggs.”

“Mm.”

My phone begins to vibrate, and checking the screen, I smile. It’s the photo Sejin set for his number, a photo of us from that first sunrise on Pothole Dome. It’s wild how that seems both like forever ago and just yesterday. Sejin and I have only been seeing each other for a little over a month and a half, but I feel like he’s already become the most important part of my life outside of climbing. It’s a vulnerable feeling, and so new too.

No doubt about it, Sejin’s a liability, and I don’t fucking care.

I check that my phone is secured before I answer. “Hey, Doc, what’s up?”

“Are you safe to talk?” he asks, like always when he knows I’m out on the wall.

“Yup.” I wouldn’t answer if I wasn’t, but he’s always going to check, and I don’t mind the feeling of affection that comes over me when he does.

“I just got back to Peggy Jo’s and it’s so nice and quiet. No screaming kids.”

“Yowling cats, though.”

“No, they’re all asleep. Muggs is on my lap.”

“Mm.” I look out over the exposure. The evergreens are so far down they look like a swath of fake Christmas trees fordollhouses. I do wish Sejin could stomach it up here. I’d like him to see this view and love it the way I do.

“Anyway, remember how you have that toy? The one you showed me a few weeks ago for, uh, orgasm denial? And I said no, but you said yes?”

“Yeah? The ball stretcher?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you want to try it now?” I glance down at Rye who’s got one eyebrow cocked up with amused interest.

“No. But I bought a toy today from that new shop on the outskirts of town…”

“Oh?” I try not to be disappointed. I’d thought about suggesting he and I go there together to pick something out, but I hadn’t gotten around to it. I’m definitely not disappointed by the idea of another new toy, though. I’m all for having fun with a naked Sejin in any way possible. There’s literally nothing he could have bought that I’d be unwilling to play with when it comes to him.

“Yeah. So, I wantyouto use the ball stretcher at the same time as this new toy.”

“Is this your way of saying you want me to come home now?”

He laughs, and the little bells ring up and down my spine again. I can imagine him ensconced on Peggy Jo’s couch with a cat on his lap, his eyes squeezed in laughter, and his wide smile taking up the bottom half of his face. God, I want to be home so I can kiss him.

“It’s my way of saying be careful up there and don’t get too banged up. I have plans for us tonight.”