Page 37 of Catch Me (Becoming Us #4)

Roman

When I woke up, the first thing I thought about was that picture of Travis’ dick.

After he sent it, I had a brief moment of panic.

I’d always been strict about not having pictures of things like that on my phone.

It left too many opportunities for slip ups.

If anyone got their hands on it, there was no way I could satisfactorily explain the situation.

It only took me a few seconds to move past that fear. I’d been so fucking turned on, and staring at his dick on the screen made it impossible for anything to shatter that.

He’d been hard for me . He’d jacked off while thinking about me . Somehow, he had feelings for me, just like I had feelings for him. We’d both admitted it and nothing bad happened.

I felt lighter than I had in...probably ever.

My sleep hadn’t been great, but it wasn’t bad either.

Right now, I was just staring at the ceiling, contemplating everything that had happened.

The loudest thought in my head was that I wanted to see Travis, and since it was seven, I knew that he had to be up.

What if he’d changed his mind ?

While I showered, I tried to shove the thought away, but it kept coming back. This was Travis . He was out and he refused to hide who he was. If he wanted something with me, whatever it might be, how could I give him what he needed, what he deserved?

As my mind began to spiral, I leaned my hands on the wall and breathed.

I heard a knock on the bedroom door, so I hurriedly jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. My feet were still wet as I rushed out of the bathroom, and I slipped a couple of times on the wood floor.

I threw the door open but was met with empty space.

Stepping into the hallway, I saw Travis at the end of it.

He turned and his lips parted as his gaze moved down my body.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “I just wanted to see...”

“Me?”

His fingers raked through his hair. He began to look at my body again, but he quickly returned to my face.

“Coffee.” He cleared his throat. “I made a fresh pot of coffee.”

“Seems late for you.”

“I drank the first one.”

I felt as uncertain as he looked. When I thought about him drinking a whole pot of coffee by himself, I found myself laughing.

“Uh, coffee sounds good. I’ll get dressed real quick.”

He just nodded. He was still standing in the same spot when I closed my door. Even though I felt awkward as hell, I smiled as I put on my clothes. Since it was Saturday, I dressed in a pair of basketball shorts and decided that if he wanted to go somewhere, I could change later.

The walk to the kitchen felt like there were a hundred eyes on me while I made my way across a catwalk.

As soon as I turned the corner, I saw him with a mug in his hands, sipping on it while he stared out of the window above the sink.

I came up beside him to pour myself a cup of coffee, then found him staring at me.

“You’re being weird,” I noted.

“Probably because I’m trying to figure out where your head’s at while also thinking about that picture of your cock.”

I choked on the coffee and took a second to compose myself before I looked at him. He hid a smirk behind his cup, but his eyes were still searching, assessing.

“I haven’t changed my mind,” I said softly .

He set his mug down, then took mine and put it on the counter. Taking either side of my neck, his thumbs settled behind my ears and made me shiver. I didn’t have a chance to get my head together before he kissed me. My response was immediate, just like every other time this had happened.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him to me while I tried to remember how to breathe. My heart was racing and my body hummed in the most delicious way. I wanted to taste every inch of him, so I gently nudged his lips apart. His tongue met mine and his grip on me tightened.

“Can I touch you?” he murmured.

“You are.”

With a groan, he slid one of his hands down my neck. His fingers pressed firmly against my skin while they passed my collarbone and trailed over my sternum. When he dipped into my waistband, I broke the kiss and tipped my head back slightly, fighting for control of my breath.

“I don’t want to rush you,” he said against my cheek.

A smile curled my lips as I remembered his words from last night.

He wasn’t someone who took things slow. Travis was impatient and had a tendency to follow his impulses, but he was trying not to do that with me.

I appreciated the effort, especially since I’d fought these urges my whole life and didn’t give into them until I couldn’t stand it anymore.

But I didn’t feel like that now. Not with him.

“Touch me,” I breathed.

“Are you—”

“I’m not afraid with you.”

Capturing my lips again, he pushed his hand into my shorts. “I’m not a casual person, Roman. If you just want something physical here, I don’t want to do this.”

I shook my head. “It isn’t that.”

When he didn’t respond, I opened my eyes to find him looking at me. There was an intensity in his expression that made me brush his cheek with my thumb.

“It’s not that,” I repeated softly.

“You’ve hidden your whole life.”

“I can’t hide forever. Of all people, I don’t want to hold back with you. ”

“It isn’t that simple.”

“No, but maybe some things are worth being complicated.”

Suddenly, his fingers wrapped around my shaft. I held onto his side, still staring into his deep amber eyes. What was in them didn’t matter right now. I was more than satisfied to simply admire the mystery of them, especially when he stroked me with a tight grip.

Travis bit down on my lower lip while he swiped his thumb over my head. “I need to taste your cock.”

“Need?” I said breathily.

“Mhm.”

As soon as I nodded, he pushed my shorts down and lowered to his knees.

Seeing him kneeling in front of me erased any lingering nerves.

My dick leaked, and he used his tongue to follow the trail it made on my crown.

I gripped the counter behind me with one hand and used the other to hold onto his hair.

Many times, I’d wanted to know what it felt like, and now, I had the strands between my fingers while he swirled his tongue around the head of my dick.

His lips wrapped around me, and for the first time in my life, I fully watched as my dick got sucked. I saw him —not just a guy, but Travis—take me into his mouth. His grip was tight while his lips were soft and relaxed, creating a gentle and torturous sensation.

God, I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was unbelievably attractive, but it wasn’t even that.

I was fucking bewitched by him. I was pretty sure that had been the case from the start for some inexplicable reason, and it had only grown every day that I’d been around him.

After trying to push him away for three weeks—longer, if I counted the two months we’d been in contact—giving in felt like the greatest relief of my life.

I felt real for the first time, when I’d spent all these years trying to scribble over the truth inside of me.

Art couldn’t capture life, but at the same time, no matter how many times I tried to change the image, it couldn’t erase it either.

In a way, art was a mockery, and that was what I’d been doing this whole time, drawing a version of myself that didn’t actually exist, and all the while, the true image continued to bleed through.

As he pulled back to the tip, my eyes closed.

There was something overwhelming about this, and it made something rise in my chest. It constricted my throat and made it hard for me to breath e.

I didn’t want to feel this right now, when I was having this moment with Travis, but it was resisting being bottled any longer.

The feeling around my dick disappeared, then I felt him cup my face, but I didn’t open my eyes. It was when he leaned his forehead against mine that my chest was wrenched apart, releasing the wretched, rotten pieces of me, the ones that weren’t meant to taste the open air.

“Roman,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Look at me. Please.”

Reluctantly, I did as he asked. The worry in his eyes made me want to shut him out, but when I started to turn away, he held onto me more tightly.

“This is why I don’t want to rush you.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him.

“You’re not fine, and that’s okay.”

“It’s stupid. I’ve done this before. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

His thumbs stroked my skin rhythmically, and I used the movement to steady my breathing.

Slowly, he pressed his lips to mine. This kiss wasn’t like the others; he caressed my lips instead of devouring them.

It was the most intimate thing I’d ever experienced, and it leveled me out so easily that the dread melted away, leaving only the same certainty I’d felt with him before.

“Come lie with me,” he suggested.

“Why?”

“Because I want to relax and you never sleep enough.”

“Maybe I did.”

He touched underneath my eyes. Without responding, he took my hand and started walking.

I followed, feeling more nervous with every step we took toward his room.

He left the door open and sat on the bed, then scooted backward.

I laid beside him, tentatively rolling onto my side and draping my arm across his stomach.

He pulled me closer, so I settled my head on his shoulder and let out a breath.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead and tightened his arm around me. “Don’t apologize. I’m trying to build something with you. I need you to be comfortable every step of the way.”

My eyes stung again, and I was glad that he couldn’t see me .

Travis said he wasn’t like Kai, and maybe there was some truth in that. In my opinion, he was better. Kai was what Sen needed, but maybe Travis was exactly what I needed.