Page 31 of Catch Me (Becoming Us #4)

Travis

Roman was in the kitchen when I walked in, even though it was only five-thirty. The fresh pot of coffee was a plus.

“You’re up early,” I said as I made myself a cup.

“Didn’t really sleep.”

I looked at him, noting the obvious tiredness on his face. If he could, I’d tell him to skip going in today, but there was a strict schedule, and it was so close to the holiday that there was no way the guys would reschedule.

“Why didn’t you sleep?” I asked.

He shrugged as he took a drink. “Sometimes, I can’t. Maybe I have insomnia.”

“You said you sleep better with Tessa. You should’ve brought her with you.”

“She was already in your room and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

I rolled my eyes and stepped closer. “Disturb me. Unless I have a game the next day, I’ll survive.”

“Stop being so nice. It gets old.”

I was almost offended until I saw him smile .

“You could always get a couple hours in before you have to leave,” I pointed out.

He stared at me for a moment, then shook his head. “I’m already up. If I fall asleep, I’ll just be pissed that I have to wake up again. I’m probably gonna head to the stadium.”

“Fair enough. Early days are productive ones, right?”

“Yeah...” After rolling his teeth over his lip, he set his cup down. “Will you come today?”

“To the field?”

“You haven’t been coming, and I know you’re probably busy, which is fine.”

I wanted to slap myself for taking his chin between my fingers, but I was already here and he hadn’t pulled away. “I’m not busy. I was just giving you space.”

“I don’t want space.”

Dropping my hand, I cleared my throat. “Let me get dressed, then we can go.”

Without waiting for him to respond, I turned around.

Fucking breathe, Travis.

*****

Aside from trying to avoid another debacle like when I came looking for Roman at the stadium, I hadn’t been keen on going today because of who was on the roster.

Out of all the people on the team, there were three who didn’t particularly like me.

Two of them were scheduled together today because they were best friends.

Dan and Anthony were the school bullies all grown up, the boys who thought of themselves as untouchable and wanted a wife who acted like a mother instead of a partner, then complained about her ‘nagging’ all the time.

I doubted they’d ever changed their kids’ diapers or touched a vacuum.

Gay men were the root of half their jokes and they thought they were God’s gift to Earth.

Some of the guys got along with them fine, but others hated them.

Did I despise them? Yes. Did they bother me? Their existence did, but I didn’t get offended by tools like them. Angry, though...I got angry. If I was allowed, I definitely would’ve hit them by now. Preferably with a baseball bat or one of my fastballs.

They arrived together, which didn’t surprise me.

Their gazes landed on us where we were sitting on the lowest step leading up to the stands.

Roman stood when they approached, then shook their hands during the introductions.

Apparently, his dad was a huge fan of Anthony’s, which tracked.

After he told Dan to meet him at home base, Anthony wandered off to god knows where.

“Not gonna throw the ball?” Roman asked.

“With Anthony?” I let out a dry laugh. “No.”

“Oh. Why not?”

“Doesn’t matter. Let’s get this done, okay?”

He set his jaw before he joined Dan. I watched him for a little while, admiring the way he got so into this. Every time he adjusted Dan’s pose, I saw the sense in it. This came so naturally to him that he was clearly born for it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Anthony approach. I wasn’t in the mood for whatever bullshit might come out of his mouth, but then again, I never was. If I had a shrink ray, I’d make him the size of a cockroach and stomp on him.

He stood beside the step I was sitting on and crossed his arms. The position looked casual, as if he had no intention of vomiting some variation of bigotry.

“How’s the wife?” I asked, stretching my legs out in front of me.

“As good as they get.”

My nose wrinkled. “Alright, then.”

“I’d ask the same, but . . .”

“Wow, you’re funny. How have I not realized how funny you are, Tony?”

“Why are you even here, McKinney?”

“This whole thing was my idea and it’s fun to watch.”

“Looks boring to me. There’s only one car out there. You drive together?”

“Unsurprisingly, I’m not interested in having a conversation with you.”

He chuckled as he looked over at Dan and Roman. “Oh, I get it. That’s what you’re watching.”

Continuing the conversation would only give him what he wanted, so I pulled out my phone and ignored him. People on Instagram were asking me to do another LIVE, and since I wasn’t doing anything else today, I thought about hopping on at some point .

“When we heard that you found some art guy and brought him here, we were gonna make bets, but that didn’t work out because we both agreed that it’s someone you’re fucking.”

I looked at the side of his ugly face. “You know what they say about assuming things.”

He leaned to the side slightly, bringing him a little closer. “He doesn’t look like it, but he’s a flamer like you, huh?”

The anger hit me so quickly I barely registered that I’d jumped to my feet. My hands connected with his chest, pushing him backward. “Are you seriously gonna start that shit?”

Anthony laughed as he got in my face. “Yeah, I thought so. You being on the team wasn’t enough, huh?”

A fist to the face would’ve been satisfying, but it was probably what he wanted, so I grabbed his shoulders and thrust my knee upward with as much force as I could. He swore and started to sink to his knees. Crouching in front of him, I resisted the urge to slam his face into the ground.

“A flamer just touched your dick and now you’re on your knees for him. Bet that feels nice, Tony.”

As soon as I stood up, Dan shoved my chest. I was ready to knock his ass down too, but Roman put a hand directly over my heart. I wondered if he could feel the rage beating through it.

“What happened?” he asked, speaking only to me.

“I have a LIVE to do.”

I brushed past him, heading for the exit. If I got shit for this, I was going to be pissed. Everyone knew they were assholes, and it shouldn’t have been allowed to continue.

“Stop,” Roman said from behind me. “Hey, can you talk to me?”

“Not right now. I need a minute.”

“Fine, just tell me if you’re gonna be okay.”

I glanced sidelong at him. “I’m angry. I’m not gonna jump into traffic.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Just give me a minute. And don’t work with them until I get back.”

He stopped following me, which was what I wanted, but it didn’t make me feel better. A LIVE was either a good idea or a horrible one. Hopefully, being on there and talking to people would help me calm down .

Once I was in my Jeep, I checked myself in the mirror and ran a hand through my hair.

I set my phone in the holder and grabbed the one in the glove compartment.

After I turned it on, I connected it to an app that would let people anonymously call in.

It was early in the day, but people started joining pretty quickly.

You ghosted us .

I laughed. “It’s only been a week.”

No ice cream today?

“It’s ten in the morning. It sounds good, though. Maybe after this. So, I’m having a pretty bad day already and I wanted to give y’all a chance to hop on and talk to me if you’re going through your own shit. Or just to say hi. Anything, really. The number is on the screen.”

It only took thirty seconds for the phone to ring. I put it on speaker and set it in my lap.

“Hey, who’s this?”

“Anna,” a woman answered in a shaky voice. “I didn’t think I’d get to talk to you. Oh my god.”

“I’m just me. What’s up, Anna?”

“I just wanted a chance to actually thank you for what you’ve done. You’re amazing.”

“Thank you, that’s sweet.”

“Seriously, you don’t see all of the good that comes from this.

You gave me the courage to come out, and you weren’t lying when you said it would be hard.

It was not easy and I lost people, but I would do it a million times over.

In all the ways that matter, I’m so much happier. You’re just a beautiful person, Trav.”

“Wow. I’m so happy for you and I’m excited for you to live your life now that you’ve come out. Anna, I come on here and talk, but it was you who found the courage, so make sure to credit yourself above everyone else.”

“Okay, but I’m still gonna credit you too. I have to go to work, but thank you for talking to me.”

“I’m always around and I try to answer every message that comes through Insta, so feel free to update me on your life. I’d love to hear about your journey.”

Why is your day bad ?

“I don’t want to get into all that negativity. Let’s just say someone insulted a person I care about and I didn’t take kindly to it.”

Someone important?

My gaze moved away from the camera briefly. “Yeah.”

I was glad when another call came through so I wouldn’t have to field all the questions in the chat.

“Hey,” I said. “Who is this?”

“Uh, hi,” a deep voice replied. “Asher.”

“What’s on your mind today, Asher?”

“Well, I’m hoping you can give me some advice.”

“I’m the last person who should be giving advice, but tell me what’s up and I’ll see if I have anything intelligent to say about it.”

He breathed a laugh. “I’ve been struggling with who I am, but I’ve been trying to figure it out. Everything was fine, then I met someone.”

“And how did this person change what you were doing?”

“I don’t even know. He just shook everything up, and now I’m at this point where I know that I like him, but I don’t know what to do about it. I’m not...out, I guess.”

“To anyone?”

“No.”

“Is he?”

“Very.”

“Okay. Have you talked to him about your feelings, or do you know if he feels the same way?”

“I haven’t, but sometimes, I think that he does. But I don’t know if I should do anything about it. I don’t think I should. It feels wrong, but the type of wrong that I don’t really believe anymore.”

“Are you in a place where you want to come out sometime soon?” I asked.

“No. Maybe. I have no idea right now.”

“Well, I think that’s important to consider.

The only advice I can give is to talk to him.

If you’ve been repressing who you are for a long time and you’re feeling something for this guy, I think it’s healthy to be open about it—for you and for him.

Maybe he’ll return the feelings or maybe he won’t.

That’s a risk no matter who you are. If he does, then you both have to decide how to navigate the rest, but you have to do the first step. ”

“Yeah . . .”

“Sorry I don’t have a magic fix for it. I wish I did.

” I smiled a little. “There’s this thing my grandpa used to say when I was having a hard time: Any mule's tail can catch burrs. Struggling is inevitable for all of us, but I really hope good things come to you, Asher. If you want to talk to me about your journey, I’m always here. ”

“Thanks, Travis.”

I talked to a couple more people before I decided it was time to go back inside. The sooner we got this shit over with, the better. The last thing I wanted was for Roman to get impatient and start working with Anthony and Dan while I was out here.

As soon as I walked in the door, I saw Roman sitting on a staircase that led into the stands. He got to his feet and walked up to me. When he wrapped me in a hug, I was frozen for a second.

“You okay?” I asked, wrapping my arms around him.

“I heard you.”

“On the video?”

“Yeah. What’d Anthony say?”

I sighed and gripped him a little tighter. “It doesn’t matter. He’s an asshole and he doesn’t get to talk shit about my friends.”

“He’s really pissed about his dick.”

With a laugh, I pulled back. “Good. If you make him really ugly in his picture, I won’t be mad about it and I doubt Pete would be either.”

“I’ll take it under consideration.”

I looked at the redness around his eyes, but he turned around, so I just followed him to the field.

God, I hoped this would be quick.