Page 27 of Catch Me (Becoming Us #4)

Roman

It was Friday and I assumed that Travis had plans since he’d been out all day. I’d gone to bed before he got back last night, and by the time I woke up, he was gone again. Maybe he hadn’t come back at all.

For a bit last night, I’d wondered what he was doing, then I got my answer from his Instagram. Volunteering wouldn’t have kept him out all night. Unless he did something after. Maybe a date.

That was a ridiculous train of thought, so I decided to derail it and find something to do this weekend.

After Googling the best things to do in the state, I figured that some time with nature was in order.

I was into camping and it wouldn’t be all that expensive to get some basic supplies.

Roughing it was part of the fun, in my opinion.

With my backpack filled with a few changes of clothes and my toiletries, I headed out of my room. When I made it outside, I saw that the Jeep was still gone, so I’d have to send him a text to let him know that I hadn’t run away or something. Not that he’d mind, but still .

While I waited for my car to warm up, I called my mom. I’d been shit at updating her, even though I had plenty of time to do it.

“Roman,” she answered, sounding relieved. “I thought you were dead.”

I laughed as I stared at a text from Travis that he’d sent a few days ago. He’d asked me if I liked kale because he was making smoothies. Nobody liked kale, but I liked to maintain my physique, so I’d said yes.

“I’m not dead. Just busy and maybe distracted.”

“What’s distracting you?”

I tapped my fingers, trying to think of what to send. All I needed to do was tell him that I’d be gone for the weekend. I was allowed to leave.

Roman: Hey

“I have a lot of stuff to work on,” I replied. “But I’ve also been drawing personal stuff. You know that I never stop.”

“That’s why the fridge was always full of new drawings when you were younger.”

“Want me to get some crayons and do that again?”

“I’d hang them up proudly.”

“Mm. Maybe I’ll do a family portrait or something.”

The idea was daunting. There were a lot of people to draw, plus I was sure that she’d want Brooks in it, which brought the number to six, excluding me. The sad part was that if I didn’t add myself in, they’d still look like a complete family. They’d probably hang it up and not notice.

“One day,” she agreed. “You have too much on your plate right now.”

“It’s not all work. I’m going camping this weekend.”

“Oh, with who?”

“By myself.”

There was a pause, which I used to check my phone.

Travis: Hey back

I found myself smiling, so I stretched out my mouth and forced it to go away. It was just a dumb text .

“I’m worried about you going alone,” Mom said.

“It’s fine. I’m a full-grown adult and most people wouldn’t fuck with me.”

“ Most .”

“If they do, I’ll knock them out.”

“What if you got ahold of Travis to see if he’ll go with you?”

The suggestion made me tense. “That’d be weird. We barely know each other.”

“Well, maybe you’ll get along. Some people connect easily. He did offer you a chance at this project, after all.”

“Sure, but he’s just nice. And I’m . . . not.”

“Roman,” she scolded. “You’re nice. You just act like you aren’t. I know that you care about people, and I wish you’d show it.”

“You’ll always think good things because you’re my mom.”

“That’s not true. You were a little asshole as a teenager.”

As I laughed, I typed out an answer.

Roman: I’ll be gone this weekend

Travis: Going home?

Roman: Nah

Travis: Where?

Roman: Guess?

Travis: Hell

Roman: Bingo

Travis: K, wherever you’re going, have fun

Snagging my lip between my teeth, I wondered if I should tell him. No, I got on his ass last week when I thought he was keeping tabs on me. I didn’t need him to know where I was. If I got kidnapped, they’d just have to do some old school detective work.

“I’m twenty-two now, Mom. Pretty sure my shitty personality is set in stone.”

“You’re beautiful, and when you want to be, you’re very sweet. Don’t think the worst about yourself just because you might have made some mistakes.”

“Don’t those make us who we are?”

“No, our actions do. Start doing better and soon, the good will outshine the bad. That pile of mistakes will barely be noticeable someday. ”

“Maybe.”

“I need you to call me when you get to your campsite. If you don’t have service, pack up and go somewhere else.”

“You’re ridiculous, but okay. I’ll call you.”

“I love you, Rome.”

“Love you too.”

Her words stuck with me while I pulled up my playlist. I was already working on changing, even though I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant yet. It was encouraging to think that anything I’d done in the past could stay there as long as I continued to do good.

Could I do good? I guess we’d see.

My finger paused over the playlist I’d made because of Tilian. It had been in my library for six years. I told myself I was going to delete it when I was at the World Series game, and I’d said it a few times before that.

Now that we’d actually talked, I wondered what I was holding on to.

Before, it had been this forbidden unknown that I never intended to open up.

But I did open it up, and it didn’t lead to disaster.

Not yet, at least. He’d talked to me over video, which was monumental in and of itself.

Obviously, he’d never felt anything aside from the physical, whereas I. ..

Shit, I was pretty sure it had been more, like I’d told him. There was no chance in hell that I was ready to put that into words again.

As I thought about it, though, I realized I wasn’t lying when I told Travis that there was no deal.

It wasn’t ever going to lead anywhere and I wasn’t holding on to it.

I didn’t have feelings for Tilian; that much I knew.

That door was closed. After having that conversation with him, I thought that it was something he’d needed too, just to finally let the past lie.

Where did I go from here? That was a good fucking question.

Roman: Hey

Travis: Hey back?

Roman: Where are you?

Travis: Grocery store. Want to know what I’m wearing too?

Tell him no. Tell him fucking no .

Roman: Sounds like you just want to brag about your fit. Fishing for compliments again?

Travis: I always catch something

Roman: You fish?

Travis: Would you be surprised?

Roman: No, actually. What about camping?

Travis: Camping is underrated af. Camping alone is iffy, though

Roman: You have Tessa

Travis: She doesn’t comfort me when an alligator (also known as a dinosaur) waddles toward me

Roman: Can’t promise I’ll do that either. I’m more likely to sacrifice you as a means to escape

Travis: Good thing we’re not camping

Roman: Could be

Travis: Is that what you’re doing?

Before I could respond, his name popped up along with the picture I’d made of him in the water. I tried not to laugh when I answered.

“Hey.”

“Hey back,” he said, sounding conspiratorial. “Are you going camping?”

“If you let me text you back, you would know.”

“I hate texting.”

“Okay, boomer.”

“Ha ha. So funny.”

“You wanted me to joke,” I pointed out.

“Don’t remind me. For your information, I hate texting whole conversations. It’s boring and I almost decided I didn’t give a fuck anymore.”

“You gave enough fucks to call me for answers.”

“That’s because I’m also curious. It’s a deadly combination that usually ends in disappointment on at least one side.”

“Pretty sure that’s how every encounter with you goes.”

“Okay,” he drawled. “You’re on some shit today.”

“It’s the freaking weekend and I’m ’bout to have me some fun.”

He burst into laughter, then it sounded like he put a hand over his mouth to smother it. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Are you drunk? ”

“No, dumbass, I’m going camping. Do you wanna come?”

All I heard was the repetitive beep of things being scanned. I realized how dumb it was to ask him to go with me. He probably thought I was going to murder him in the woods.

“Are you gonna murder me in the woods?” he asked.

I dropped my forehead against the steering wheel. My life was beginning to feel like a big joke at this point. “No.”

“Well, in that case—”

“I’d definitely do it in the water. I don’t have a shovel and I’m not digging a hole like a Labrador.”

“Note to self: Never get wet with Roman. Okay, there’s this gorgeous place that I’ve gone to a few times. It’s a bit of a drive, though.”

“Already in my car.”

“I’ll be at the house in ten to grab some shit. Just follow me. And don’t mind the shovel in my front seat. It’s not for anything specific.”

Leaning my head back, I smiled. Maybe it’d be a good weekend. I loved camping.