Page 1 of Catch Me (Becoming Us #4)

Travis

Eight years Ago

“Travis!” Dad called.

I ignored him. All I wanted to do was find a place alone. I was a wreck, and I didn’t want him to see me cry. He’d shame me for it, ridicule me just like they did at this fucked up camp.

This place was wrong.

It was evil .

I told him there was nothing wrong with me, that it didn’t matter if I was gay. He didn’t listen. He never fucking listened to me.

It wasn’t just the anger I felt toward my dad. There was guilt building inside of me, and it was so powerful that I didn’t know if I’d stay on my feet long enough to outrun him. Everything that happened today was my fault.

I remembered what Sen had looked like during our ‘punishment.’ When his parents showed up, the broken look on his face made me want to beg him for forgiveness. At the same time, I wanted to jump to my feet and punch his dad in the face because he’d slapped Sen. All because we were gay .

When I couldn’t walk anymore, I ducked behind a tree and dropped into a crouch.

My fingers tightened in my hair as I hung my head.

I thought about ripping all of it out. I was the one who’d talked to the counselor about the kiss between us.

I refused to see it as wrong like they wanted me to.

They weren’t supposed to be able to share what I said with anyone, but it was na?ve to think they’d give a shit about that.

I ruined everything. I broke Sen more than he already was. He was so sweet and full of sunshine. He was just a year and a half younger than me, and I’d wanted to make sure he made it through this, but I just made it worse.

With a yell, I stood and slammed my fist into the tree. It split my knuckles open, but I did it again, then again. When I was at serious risk of doing permanent damage, I banged my palm against it.

“Trav!” Dad shouted.

Footsteps behind me made me want to turn around and hit him instead, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’d just make everything worse. Hadn’t I done enough damage in this cursed camp already?

“God, let me see your hand.”

I shook my head and cradled my throbbing fingers to my chest. Even if I wanted to get words out, I couldn’t.

Tears were streaming down my face, and my throat was tight.

I hit the tree again, and strong arms came around me from behind.

No matter how much I tried to shake him off, he held on.

When my exhaustion caught up with me, I collapsed.

He lowered me to the ground and kept his arms around me.

Eventually, I let myself lean back against his chest as I fell apart more wholly than I ever had.

“I hate you,” I cried.

“Travis . . .”

Tears raced down my cheeks, my sobs barely allowing me to pull in air. “I hate you. Who does this to their kid? Who the fuck does this, Dad?”

“Come on. Let’s get out of the woods before the sun goes down.”

“I don’t want to...I don’t want to go back. I can’t.”

“We’re not going back. ”

His words made me sit up and turn around. My eyes were heavy, and the tears made my vision blurry, but I thought he looked serious.

“Really?”

“Travis, I don’t know how, but me and you are gonna move forward. I shouldn’t have sent you here. What they did...” His brow furrowed. “We’re going home.”

“I can’t change,” I whispered. “Here, at home, it doesn’t matter.”

He let out a heavy breath. “We’ll figure it out.”

“No, I can’t—”

“What I mean is that we’re gonna figure out how we fix what’s happened. This was my mistake, and I don’t know what I can do, but I want to try...I want to try to understand you, ’kay? If this is what they do to fix you, I think maybe they’re the ones who are broken.”

My nostrils flared, and I couldn’t stop more tears from escaping. “You don’t want me to change?”

“I don’t know how to feel about you being...” He shook his head. “But I love you, Trav. If we have to see someone and work through things, we’ll do that. You’re not staying in this godforsaken place.”

“My friend. He’s not okay.”

He studied me for a minute. “I can’t do anything about that.”

“We have to. Please, Dad.”

“I can talk to Mr. Taylor, but what they do with their kid isn’t up to me.”

Even though I hated it, I nodded. He stood and offered me his hand, then headed back the way we’d come.

I didn’t stop thinking about Sen for a long time. He’d still pop into my head once in a while. Eventually, though, it faded, just a memory of a whole different time in my life.

My life went on. But so did his. Dumont said that I killed myself rather than telling Sen the truth—that my dad did what all the other kids there prayed to God for.

Some did kill themselves, seeing no light when they peered into an imagined version of the future.

Dumont turned me into an unwilling martyr for their holy mission, and in the process, they used me to fuck Sen up more than I’d managed to in my short time there .

It was a horrifying story, but weren’t they all? None of us came out unscathed.

I’d moved on with my life, but thousands of others hadn’t. And that didn’t sit well with me.