Page 20 of Catch Me (Becoming Us #4)

Travis

When Roman said he was going to try, he wasn’t kidding.

He was actually enjoyable to be around yesterday.

There was a point where I was on my way to run with Tessa and found him on the front porch drawing.

He’d been snappy and demanded that I leave him alone, but he awkwardly apologized when I got back, so I couldn’t really complain.

I wasn’t sure exactly what changed. Maybe it was whatever he and Tilian talked about the other night. It wasn’t my business, so I wasn’t going to ask. I was just glad there was a chance the next two and a half weeks wouldn’t be a nightmare.

He jogged over to me, and even though his face was blank, it didn’t feel hostile. “Lunch?”

“Sure. Ron ran to the bathroom, so I’m playing alone anyway.”

“Got another glove?”

I nodded toward the dugout. He disappeared for a second, then returned and held up his gloved hand. After he caught the ball, he shook out his arm.

“Jesus, man.”

“I’m a pitcher,” I pointed out with a grin .

“No shit.”

His throw showed that he was out of practice, but it was pretty good.

“What’d you play?” I asked.

“Catcher.”

“Oh, my bestie. Badass but boring.”

“Just get it over with and say you’re scared.”

Narrowing my eyes, I threw the ball harder and felt satisfied when he grunted.

“Where does your fastball sit?”

“My fastest clocked at ninety-seven,” I replied. “Obviously, I don’t try to pitch that regularly. My arm is delicate.”

He laughed. “Oh, yeah?”

“I require constant pampering during the season.”

“Gotta go easy on it.”

“I’ll be in it for a decade. Just watch. Next season, they’ll have me on that mound more than Anthony. When I become a household name, you can say you slept in my spare room and swam shirtless with me. It’ll blow all the women away.”

He rolled his eyes, then stared at the ball in his hand. After a moment, he threw it. I was surprised by how solid the throw was.

“Can we go now?” he asked brusquely.

“Yeah, sure. You don’t have to come if you have things to do here.”

“Do you not want me to?”

“It’s whatever you want, man.”

He grunted in a way I thought meant he was annoyed. Or it was an affirmative. It was hard to figure out, but I was trying.

Regardless of what it meant, he went in the opposite direction. It felt like I did a lot of internal shrugging these days.

After making it to the parking lot, I got into my Jeep and scrolled through my playlist. Picking a song was impossible, so I set it to random and decided I’d match whatever vibe came on.

Just as I was about to back out, the passenger door opened. I pursed my lips as I watched Roman climb in. He didn’t even look at me.

“Okay,” I said, drawing out the word .

When the second song came on, I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel while I waited for a light to turn green. Roman looked out the window, and I heard him start singing along softly.

“A fan?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Til is.”

“Oh?”

“This is his favorite song.”

“Hm. Well, this is just a random playlist I pulled up, not Tilian’s.” I glanced at him a few times and begged myself not to say it, but my brain and mouth weren’t fond of communicating. “What’s the deal there?”

When he looked at me, his eyes were narrowed. “The fuck do you mean?”

“Just asking. Sorry.”

“Don’t.”

“Alright, fair. Marked as hostile territory. That’s all you gotta say and I won’t bring something up again.”

I parked in front of the sub shop since it was everyone’s favorite.

Patrick and Ron were on the schedule, and nobody else was hanging around, so we didn’t need nearly as much food.

It was busy inside, though, and I didn’t want to wait in there.

After placing the order at their kiosk, I moved outside and started pacing like last time.

And like before, Roman oscillated between staring at the road and watching me.

“Think I’m nice to look at?” Immediately, I clenched my teeth, knowing that was the wrong thing to say.

“You already know you are.”

“Hm. Thanks for stroking my ego. I try to keep it in check, but it might blow up now.”

“You seem super humble to me,” he noted.

“But you’ll never see me turn down a compliment. I questioned my self-worth a lot growing up, so I always appreciate a confidence boost.”

“You said you don’t seek external validation.”

As I turned around, I couldn’t help but smile. I would’ve been surprised that he remembered, but he said he had a really good memory. He probably had a bunch of useless but interesting facts up in that brain.

“Seeking it is different than happily accepting it. ”

“You’re a really good person.”

I stopped walking and looked at him. He was staring directly at me, into my eyes, into my freaking soul.

“What makes you say that?”

“Are you fishing for more compliments?”

The corner of my mouth lifted. “It’s possible.”

“You’re just...good. I don’t know. You get everyone lunch every day. You seem to genuinely enjoy doing nice things for people, even if you get nothing in return. You’re positive and happy and sunshine. I’ve only met a couple people that I actually believed were selfless.”

“I’m not selfless.”

“You’re risking your job to help kids.”

“Sure, but some of it is self-serving.”

“How?”

I looked up at the sky and wondered if it would rain. The clouds were getting darker by the minute.

“Guilt,” I replied.

He looked at me inquisitively, but thankfully, my number came up on the screen inside. I hurried into the building and grabbed the bag, ignoring the eyes I felt on me. He was silent until I shifted the car into park in front of the stadium.

“Why do you feel guilty?”

I smiled softly at him. “It’s personal.” We started walking, and I was surprised when he took the bag from me. “It’s not heavy, you know. Think I’m weak, Roman?”

“Your arm is delicate, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot you don’t understand jokes.”

“Mhm.”

I darted forward to open the door, refusing to let him be the only chivalrous one here. The way he ducked his head made me want to throw another joke at him, but I refrained.

“No deal,” he said when we were in the hallway.

I stopped and raised a brow. “What?”

“Me and Til. There’s never really been a deal. I don’t know. It’s just the past.”

“Okay,” I replied slowly. The past could mean a lot of things, but again, it wasn’t my business. “Why’d you tell me that?”

“Tit for tat? ”

My lips thinned before I continued walking. I thought I heard him make an annoyed sound behind me. It could’ve been one of his usual noises.

“Food,” I announced when I reached the field.

I grabbed my sub and wandered up a few levels in the stands. Tessa came over, but she got bored quickly and started running around again.

Putting my feet on the seat below me, I set my food in my lap and watched what was happening on the field.

Roman was cycling between taking bites of his sandwich and working on his tablet.

I leaned forward, unable to abate my curiosity.

Since I wasn’t too far up, I could faintly see the image.

It was a person—probably Ron or Patrick.

The hair seemed longer than Patrick’s, though, and lighter than Ron’s.

Curiosity allegedly killed the cat, so I finished my sandwich, then sank lower in my seat and stretched my legs over the top of the one in front of me.

I didn’t need to be here, but there was a misplaced sense of responsibility I felt for this project.

Maybe I’d stay home next week. Roman probably thought I was being overbearing, like when I came here two days ago.

I had a tendency to do that. Some people said I was protective, but I’d also been called controlling.

Maybe it was both. More likely, I just sucked at minding my business, even though I constantly told myself to.

I probably needed a hobby. Tessa and I did a lot of things, but I was cursed with being a busybody. Sen would say I needed a good man. That sounded horrible.

I wasn’t anti-relationship. It just wasn’t something I thought about much, and when I imagined trying to fit them into all the parts of my life, it felt complicated.

I didn’t want to shift my world around to accommodate another person.

If I ever did that, they’d have to be really fucking special.

I got bored easily anyway, and if I didn’t, I fell too quickly.

At this point, I just didn’t have a lot of interest in making an effort.

After putting in my earbuds, which had somehow found their way into one of the kitchen drawers, I started tapping my toes on the seat.

I closed my eyes and listened to one of the bands that was good for when my brain was overactive.

It was growly and dark, which relaxed me for some reason.

Was that a sign that I was into toxic shit?

It might’ve helped to drown out the anger that simmered under the surface when I was stressed.

I wasn’t a psychologist, so it was possible I was trying to explain something that didn’t need explaining.

Something touched my shoulder and made me jerk. I looked to the side where Roman was crouching. He tapped his finger on his ear, so I took one of the buds out.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“We’re done.”

My gaze went to the sky, and I was surprised to see that the sun was pretty low compared to when I’d sat down.

“Want me to drive again?”

I sat up and shook my head. “Why?”

“You’re tired.”

“Nah, I was just bored. I have a lot of energy right now, so I tried to purge it mentally with music.”

“That works?”

“It’s hit or miss. Apparently, it worked this time.”

I dropped my feet to the floor, and with him still crouching, it put us very close to each other. He was clearly uncomfortable, but since he didn’t move, I stood and headed to the stairs.

All I had to do was snap my fingers and Tessa came up beside me.

Neither Roman or I said anything on the way home.

I was going to ask if he had any opinions about dinner, but he went directly to his room.

He needed cards to hold up—green for a good mood, red for a bad mood, and yellow for ‘use caution.’ The last one was his resting state and red was a close second.

“Well, looks like it’s just me and you, monster.”

My mouth dropped open when she marched casually down the hall and pawed at the doorknob until she got into Roman’s room. I heard him laugh, and when I accepted that she wasn’t coming back, I opened the fridge to find something edible.