Page 44 of It’s Only Love

Mike

It must’ve been a long time since I took a Saturday off, two years at least, because Jon looked at me all surprised when I asked him.

Then he shook his head, murmuring, “Well, finally,” before handing me a piece of the rhubarb crumble Sarah had made.

Since my early teens, I’ve been working most weekends to help Mom out, and although it’s never bothered me, there are other things now pulling at me—or someone, to be more specific.

Dennis, my boyfriend. Who still loves me.

When he told me he always had… I have no words for how that made me feel after we just had sex for the first time.

Just pure and utter sensation overload, like my body had trouble containing all those emotions coursing through me.

Relief, joy, ecstasy, and also a little fear.

Fear that it won’t last or he’ll change his mind. Fear that I won’t be able to keep him.

No, it’s time to stop going down that rabbit hole where I always expect the worst. I’m going to focus on the fact he’s giving me a second chance, and I’ll try not to waste it worrying.

Today’s a good day. Dennis is standing next to Mom at the kitchen counter, making egg salad sandwiches for lunch.

They’re laughing and chatting like two long-lost friends, while I’m trying to rid Willow’s fur of some burrs.

Dennis went running with her in the woods this morning, and half a dozen got stuck around her neck and on her belly.

“Next time, take the beach, okay ba—” Shit, I nearly dropped the baby in front of Mom. “These burrs are a pain to get out.”

Dennis grins at me over his shoulder. “Sure thing, babe .” I’m so getting him back for that later. Luckily, Mom doesn’t seem to have noticed, or she pretends not to as she continues talking to Dennis. “So what are your plans for work, hun?”

“I’m still looking for a job, and that might take a while within my field, but I really want to start looking for a place of my own soon.

” Yes, please. With both of us still living at home, it’s definitely starting to cramp our boyfriend style.

Escaping through bedroom windows is massively overrated, that’s for sure.

“You should find a place together.” Mom beams first at Dennis, then at me. “Rent can be pretty steep here in Cannon Beach, so it makes sense now that you’re dating.”

Thank you, Mom. Great observation.

I look at Dennis, mortified to say the least, but he just grins at me, his brown eyes vibrant. Then he winks, which is equal parts obnoxious and cute as hell. “Great idea, Mrs. Tanner! We should totally look into that.”

“Anna, please. Mrs. Tanner makes me feel old,” she groans, adding some curry powder to the egg salad.

Dennis nods, “Anna.”

Willow whines as I pull out another burr stuck on her belly. “Mom, I don’t think we’re quite—”

“Did Michael ever show you that plot of land that he’s had an eye on? That place where he wants to build his own house one day?”

Dennis tilts his head at me, narrowing his eyes. “No, he didn’t. ”

“It’s just a dream I have, nothing that’ll ever happen.”

“Sometimes dreams come true,” Dennis murmurs, a tender look in his eyes.

I swallow as images of our night together in the tent and later under the stars flash before my eyes.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe good things do happen if you dare to wish for them and believe in them.

“You’ll have to show me sometime.” There’s a silent question in his eyes, and his voice is devoid of any hint of teasing when he continues, “I think it’d be a beautiful house if you ever decided to build it. ”

Well, fuck me. Now I want to run down to Home Depot and stock up on building materials ASAP.

“Do you boys wanna eat outside? It’s lovely in the shade on the back porch.” Mom nods at the tray with plates, cutlery, a pitcher of lemonade, and glasses standing in the center of the kitchen island. “Honey, you wanna grab that for me?”

“Sure.” I pull the last burr from Willow’s fur, and she immediately makes a run for it before I pull out the brush.

Bolting for the door to the backyard, she shakes her fur, stray hair flying everywhere.

I stand and move toward the sink to wash my hands, and when Mom is busy arranging the egg salad sandwiches on a tray, I lean in and steal a kiss from Dennis.

It’s just a quick peck against his cheek, but he immediately leans into me, and it feels life-altering, standing here in my kitchen, kissing my boyfriend.

“You’re cute when you gang up on me with my mom,” I mumble against his ear, a little too tempted to bite into his earlobe.

“You’re cute when you get all flustered,” he whispers back, eyeing Mom, before he leans in and presses a hard kiss against my lips.

“I don’t get flustered.”

“You do. And it’s so damn adorable.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

Mom chuckles on her way outside, carrying the tray stacked with sandwiches and condiments.

“You boys are just the sweetest,” she singsongs.

“Too sweet.” She shakes her head, her ponytail swinging from side to side.

“Now tell me again, what are your plans later? You’re meeting up with Aaron, right?

Is he still with that lovely girl? What’s her name? Amanda, was it?”

Mom rambles on and on until she disappears outside, but I can’t take my eyes away from Dennis, who smirks at me knowingly, then pokes at my cheek. “See? All cute and flustered.”

Yeah, I’ll get him later.

After lunch, I was tempted to just throw Dennis in my truck and drive him somewhere secluded and fuck him senseless.

Just watching him eat an egg salad sandwich and gulping down lemonade was pure torture.

The way he swallowed and licked his lips exaggeratedly.

He was obviously trying to rile me up. He didn’t have to worry about that, though.

I’ve been sporting a chronic semi just being around him.

We’ve just arrived at the bar to meet up with Aaron, Wes, and Amanda.

My jeans are entirely too tight in the crotch area.

Jeez, is it always going to be like this, me being half-hard whenever he’s nearby?

To top it off, he’s wearing a sage-green short-sleeved shirt, and the color looks phenomenal on him, making his eyes pop. Yeah, I’m in for a long night.

I’m excited to see Aaron, though, and finally get to know Amanda a little better.

Wes, on the other hand… He’s okay, I guess, if you like the overly energetic, rowdy, tail-chasing type of guy.

I remind myself that he’s be en a good friend to Dennis, though, and if you’re good to my Den, then you’ve got endless credit in my book.

“We don’t have to stay long. Just a few drinks,” Dennis says. As I open his car door, he immediately grabs my hand, tangling our fingers together.

I savor the feel of his warm, soft skin against mine. This will never get old, this instinctive need to be close and touch each other. “It’s okay. I can’t be a hermit for the rest of my life.”

Dennis laughs, throwing his head back, baring his tanned, lean neck. “You’re hardly a hermit. A mouse-deer, maybe.”

I raise a brow at him. “A mouse-deer? Dude, now you’re just making shit up.”

“I’m being serious.” He bumps my shoulder, then he stops to gesticulate with his hands eagerly. “They’re tiny little deer, really elusive and shy, and they live in the rainforests in Southeast Asia. They’re super cute. Just. Like. You.” He boops my nose with a finger.

“Sometimes you scare me.”

He looks at me wide-eyed. “Why?”

“You’re just… a walking, talking encyclopedia.”

“Oh. Sorry if I ramble too much.”

“No, I don’t mean it like that,” I rush out. “It’s just really cool. That you’re so passionate about something like that. I wish I… had that.” It’s true. Aside from work, I’ve never really been passionate about anything, if you can even call that a passion.

He smiles at me, a rare vulnerability in his eyes.

Then he leans up on his toes, his face hovering just in front of mine.

His voice is breathy, cinnamon-y, when he speaks, “You can be passionate about me, Michael Malcolm Tanner.” Shit, now I really want to throw him in my truck.

I groan as I adjust myself, pulling a knowing grin from Dennis.

“Still not my middle name,” I grunt .

He sticks out his tongue. “Could be.” Such a brat.

Although it’s only 7 o’clock, the bar is buzzing as we enter, and a good portion of the patrons are already half-wasted. The karaoke is blasting some ’80s song, a guy I recognize from high school crooning about cars and girls.

“Well, fucking finally!” Wes yells from the far end of the room, where a row of booths lines one wall. Aaron waves at me before his gaze moves to Dennis, who is headed toward the bar.

“Beer?” Dennis shouts at me, his voice getting swallowed up by the noise.

“Yeah. A Bud , please.” I make my way through an ocean of people, briefly saying hi to some I recognize, exchanging a few sentences. When I finally reach the booth, Aaron slides in, making room for me, with Amanda on his other side.

“Hey, Mike,” she waves, her light brown waves falling down her shoulders, spreading over a shimmery purple top.

“Hey, Amanda. Good to see you. Thought you’d dumped his ass by now.” I wink at Aaron, and he playfully punches me.

“Hey!” Dennis huffs next to me, scowling at Aaron.

“No manhandling my boyfriend. Only I get to handle my man.” He hands me my beer, then sits down across from me, next to Wes.

Sweat starts breaking across my neck because I don’t know whether I’m ready for this, or if I’ll ever be ready.

It comes so naturally for Dennis, who’s outgoing, but I’m not used to standing out in any way, especially like this, as a couple, in front of Aaron.

“Okay, still weird.” Aaron winces, taking a long sip from his beer. Although Aaron guessed it before Dennis and I could even put into words how we felt about each other, he’ll probably still need some time to get used to us officially dating .

Wes clinks his glass against Dennis’. “Weird, perhaps, but at least the double pining is over now that these two got their heads out of their asses.”

Aaron shoots beer from his nose from his snort while Dennis’ cheeks grow crimson under the translucent lights overhead.

He stares at me, looking just as mortified as I’m feeling.

Wes is right, though. It might have taken some time and a whole lot of stolen looks and sleepless nights, but now we’re finally on the same page.

I wink at Wes. “Now there’s a first. Never thought I’d agree with Wes on anything.” I smile, reaching for Dennis’ hand across the table, just squeezing it briefly. He relaxes, still blushing adorably, then sits back in his seat.

“I think it’s sweet,” Amanda says, leaning up against Aaron’s side. “You guys look good together.”

“Please, no mention of my kid brother looking good. I’m the good-looking Holbrook brother.” Aaron puffs out his chest as Dennis snorts a “Right.”

“ Together, ” Amanda draws out the word. “I said they look good together.” She rolls her eyes, reaching for her pink drink with an umbrella in it.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

She shrugs, sucking on her straw as she loudly slurps her drink. Then she scoots the empty glass in front of Aaron. “Go get me another, good-lookin’.”

Aaron taps my shoulder, and I slide out from the booth and stand while he gets out. “You want another?” He nods at my half-finished bottle.

“Yeah, I’ll come with you. You want another, Den? Wes?” I hold up my bottle, swinging it between my fingers.

“Sure, thanks, man,” Wes says. “And shots. ”

Dennis groans. “We’re not doing shots. Remember what happened last time we did shots?”

“No! That’s why we’re doing them!” Wes rubs his hands together, cackling. “Just because you’re all lovey-dovey and set for the rest of your days, doesn’t mean we can’t party like old times.”

“ All right ! One round of shots,” Dennis sighs, then mouths at me, ‘ Only one round, babe .’

We go and grab the drinks and a tray of J?gerbombs, and return to Wes and Dennis, who are doing high fives, and Amanda offering a “Congrats.”

Aaron looks between his brother and Amanda. “What’s going on?”

Dennis is literally beaming, quickly grabbing two shots from the tray, handing one to Wes.

They quickly knock their glasses together and slam back the shots, wincing loudly.

Dennis laughs at me. “ The Outdoor Science School out in Hillsboro just called. I applied for their Field Instructor position. They’ve had a cancellation for Monday, so they asked me to come in for an interview.

The job is perfect because it’s not a permanent one, but four months long.

And I get to teach kids, which will give me much-needed experience.

” Dennis eyes me, trying not to frown as he takes a sip of his beer.

“But I’ll have to live on-site during the week. ”

“Fuck, that’s amazing!” Aaron high-fives Dennis. “I know you really wanted that job. That’s great, man. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks. I mean, I still have to do the interview, but hopefully I can make a great impression.” He walks over and stands next to me, leaning his head against my chest.

Five days a week. For four months. If he gets the job, he’ll be away for so much time.

“Congrats,” I mumble into his hair. He looks up at me with something in his eyes that I can’t read.

My chest tightens, my heart beating faster as I take in his beautiful face, his hesitant smile, and his eyes that I could just lose myself in forever.

As much as I feel the insecurity building inside, I can’t take this moment from him.

I recognize the fear tugging at me, the familiar sensation of falling, but I’m not a selfish person.

Never was. I want all good things for Dennis.

I love him so much. Even if those things don’t include me, I still want them for him.

I lean down, whispering against his lips, “I’m so proud of you, baby.

They’ll love you.” I love you. Then I kiss him, savoring the feel of his plush lips against mine.

As long as I get to kiss him, everything’s okay. It’ll be okay.