Page 3 of It’s Only Love

Dennis

Eight years earlier

The first time I realized I liked boys was two years ago. Sure, looking back, I kind of already knew, like remembering how good-looking Ryan Gosling was or why I didn’t find girls attractive. They were pretty and all, but nothing pushed me beyond being friends with them.

The day that cinched the deal for me was when Aaron, Mike, and I went exploring Ecola State Park.

We were climbing up some large, mossy rocks over the waves on the beach when I slipped backward.

Mike was right behind me, and he caught me.

I was pretty sure he’d saved my life. Instead of hitting my head on the rocks, I fell backward, right into his big, strong arms, my back pressed to his front.

‘I’ve got you, ’ he said.

His words were so close to my ear that I think I trembled a little, and my face burned when his warm breath hit my cheek. Those words meant something more to me that day, like a promise he would always be there for me.

I remember tilting my head back to look at him, my fingers gripping his forearm as my heart beat so hard in my chest from the near fall and his closeness.

He looked at me, his familiar blue eyes filled with silent strength and kindness.

I couldn’t catch my breath, realizing for the first time how pretty they were.

They were grayish blue, with hints of yellow and even specks of brown, like little sparks of light.

I never thought much about Mike’s eyes before that day, but now they weren’t only blue.

Now I saw other colors and emotions in them.

That was the day I fell off a rock and right into love with Mike Tanner, my brother’s best friend.

Maybe love is a stretch, but it’s close.

I’ve had a huge crush on him for two years now.

Mike has always been nice to me. He never picked on me or got annoyed as we grew up, not like Aaron did.

When we were younger, Aaron and I usually ended up wrestling and fighting at least once a week over some slight we always forgot about an hour later.

My brother can be cool, and sometimes he’s a dick, but I love him.

I think he’ll say the same about me. Mike, though, never made me feel left out, even when my brother didn’t want me around.

I never really appreciated it until that day—appreciated him .

I noticed he had always protected me one way or another.

It isn’t always easy to tell because he’s quiet and keeps to himself, unless he’s around Aaron, where he smiles more.

My brother loves to hear himself talk, so Mike’s perfect for him.

It’s been hard to hide my feelings for Mike.

I want to shout about them, but as far as I can tell, he’s straight.

He’s only had one girlfriend, and he and Aaron are always going on and on about girls.

Aaron always has a girl on his arm, being the varsity quarterback for the Seaside Spartans. They all want him. Boring!

I’ve tried to look at other boys in high school, but there are only about a hundred freshmen, and almost half of those are girls.

So, it’s not like I’ve got a lot to choose from.

Still, no other boys compare to Mike. He’s big and strong, despite dropping out of football when he started high school.

Beyond his gorgeous eyes, he has this flowy hair you just want to sweep your fingers through.

I especially like the way his long bangs fall into his face.

But it’s not just his looks. He also takes really good care of his mom, showing how kind he is.

We’re all sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner, and Mike is here, too, because he’s always here.

I overheard him talking to Aaron once, worrying about how his mom had been ever since his dad died.

That had been the worst. Mike never cried from what I could tell, but you could see the sadness there, like he held it all inside.

It’s not the type of sadness like when you’ve had a bad day, but one that feels like it can crush you and make it hard to breathe.

Mom and Dad are talking about boring work stuff as Aaron and I eye the last piece of fried chicken drumstick on the plate, sitting in the center of the table.

His eyes gleam, and he smirks at me. A slight movement of his body, and I know he’s about to reach for it, but I’m faster.

I’ve always been faster. It’s why I’m a runner.

I grab the drumstick just out of his reach and instantly shove it into my mouth, giving it a good lick all over so he won’t try to take it. You learn little tricks like that growing up with an older brother. We’re perpetually in competition.

“You’re so disgusting, Menace .”

I stick my tongue out at him before taking a large bite of my chicken, just as he lunges across the table at me, but I quickly scoot back in my chair. “You’re just jealous that I’m faster.”

Aaron huffs and rolls his eyes. “You got lucky.”

I wink at him. “Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. ”

Next to me, Mike snickers, shaking his head. Shit, I hope he’s not too grossed out from my licking the chicken. Then again, it’s Mike, and he knows how I can be.

“That’s enough, boys,” Dad snaps.

“Ugh, when do brothers grow out of the fighting and roughhousing?” Mom asks. “I feel like I’m always breaking up the fights.”

Dad chuckles. “I’m sorry to say that we have a long way to go, hun. My three brothers and I fought and wrestled way into our mid-twenties.”

She stares at the ceiling as if it holds all the answers. “Lord, help me.”

“The Spartans have done well this year, Aaron,” Dad says, changing the topic.

My brother shrugs and takes a large bite of mashed potatoes before answering with his mouth full. “I guess. I mean, we’re a small school, so… our athletics department is just underfunded. It would be nice if we made the championship. Maybe next year.”

“But you’re having fun, right?” Mom asks.

“Yeah, it’s cool. I like it anyway.”

“So do all the girls ,” I say, shoving a finger down my throat, pretending to gag.

Aaron wads up his dirty paper napkin and throws it at me. It hits my face, and it’s my turn to lunge at him, but Mike is there to hold me back as he presses a gentle hand on my chest. He shakes his head, rolls his eyes, and smiles. I instantly calm down.

“You’re just asking to get beat, Den.” Den. I love it when he calls me that, with a hint of fondness in his deep voice. It’s so much better than ‘ squirt .’

Aaron and Mike are both bigger than me—by a lot—but they’re juniors and I’m only a freshman. “Well, one day I’ll be as big as Aaron, then I’ll kick his ass. ”

“There will be no ass-kicking and no swearing, Dennis,” Dad admonishes.

I take the last bite of my chicken and toss the bone onto my plate.

“Mom, can you take me to Ecola State Park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be sunny and clear. I want to see the whales. It’s been rainy and cloudy forever.”

Aaron scoffs. “Dude, you see the whales like every weekend when they’re here.”

Mike gives my brother a playful punch in his arm. “Come on, man. You know Den loves them and likes to explore the tide pools. Don’t tease him.”

I swear, my heart burst just then. ‘I’ve got you’ plays in my head again. Mike always has my back, even against his best friend.

“I can’t, honey. I’ve got to close the shop tomorrow. We’re getting too close to the holidays,” Mom explains.

Dad works at his landscaping company every weekend until dark. Right after Thanksgiving, he’ll set up Christmas trees and hang lights on houses, so I can’t ask him. I want to ask Aaron, but he’s being a dick tonight. Still, I look at him. “Aaron?”

“Nope. I’m hanging out with Heidi, and then we have a date tomorrow night.”

My shoulders sag. I guess I can walk, but it takes about forty-five minutes to get there on foot. The temperature will be in the fifties, but with the wind coming off the ocean, it’ll feel like it’s in the forties.

“I can take you,” Mike says.

God, could I love a person more? Even better, we can hang out together without my brother.

I bite my bottom lip and smile. “Are you sure? You’re not working?” I’ve lost count of the number of jobs that Mike has, trying to help his mom so they can stay in their house .

“Sure, squirt.” He ruffles my hair, and I swat him away.

Ugh. There’s nothing worse than your crush treating you as a little kid still. My face burns at his childish nickname for me. I try to hide it as I stand, take my plate to the sink, and rinse it. “Thanks,” I mumble.

“What time?”

I turn on the water and rinse my plate off before putting it in the dishwasher. “Uhm, after lunch?”

“Just be back before dinner,” Mom says.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Mike and I get out of the car. The parking lot at Ecola State Park spits us out to an amazing view of the Pacific Ocean and the Misty Mountains, as we affectionately call them, since they’re always covered in a fine mist. We’re high up, looking out over the ocean and the ancient rock stacks that jut out of the water.

We’ve been here countless times, but I never get tired of it.

Maybe if I’d grown up in the city, I would love it there, but the ocean, mountains, and wildlife are my thing.

And being next to my favorite person makes the day even more perfect.

The weather is sunny, but windy, with the temperature in the low forties, though the area can quickly turn foggy and rainy.

I zip up my hoodie and toss my waterproof jacket over it before tugging a beanie onto my head.

Then I grab my DSLR camera that Mom and Dad got for me last Christmas, and I follow behind my sweet, quiet crush as we hike to a more secluded area to look at the whales.

After that, we’ll go to Indian Beach to explore the tidepools.