Page 35 of It’s Only Love

Mike

Jon and I have been working on a rhododendron bed for the past couple of hours, and while I’m usually one hundred percent focused on the task at hand, I find myself drifting back and forth between last night and the soil preparation I should be doing.

It’s not like I haven’t done this before, and I take pride in doing it right, making sure the client is always happy with the result.

However, I’m distracted, making it hard to focus.

I’ve known the Walkers since I was a small kid, and I went to school with their oldest daughter, Melody.

Mrs. Walker, who insists on my calling her Debra, just stopped by with a glass of chilled iced tea for Jon and me, and now she’s using the opportunity to show me the latest photos of Melody’s new baby girl.

“So, this is Aura. She’s only three weeks old, but I swear, she’s the smartest baby ever.” I nod, placing a smile on my face, making sure to oooh and aaah in all the right places while Debra keeps pulling almost identical baby photos of a drooling Aura up on her phone .

I’m leaning against my shovel, sweat trailing down my neck, and suddenly I’m thrown back to last night, seeing my cum sliding over Dennis’ hand.

I’ve never come that hard before, nearly blacking out as soon as he wrapped his warm fingers around our cocks.

Shit, the feel of him against me was unreal.

He was so careful with me, too. The way he guided me through it, making sure we were on the same page, when really, I would’ve fucked him then and there, or been ready for him to fuck me, if he’d asked.

I think he was waiting for me to freak out, stop him, or run away, but the truth is, I don’t care that he’s a guy.

He’s Dennis– my Den–and I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want him.

Shit, when he licked my cum off his fingers.

I had no idea that was even a thing, but I swear that was the single most erotic moment of my life.

Fucking revelation is what it was. He’s it for me. No one else can compare to him.

“... in October for the baptism,” Debra beams at me, holding up another picture in front of my face of a white dress with initials sewn into the hem.

“Beautiful,” I manage to croak. Jon side-eyes me not for the first time today as he takes a drink from the iced tea.

Shit, pull yourself together, Mike—no fantasizing about Dennis in front of his father, who also happens to be your boss .

More sweat beads across my forehead, and I’m not entirely sure that it’s just because the late July sun is coming down hard today or because I’m afraid Jon can somehow put two and two together.

After a few more minutes of baby-photo dumping, Debra retreats into the bungalow, and I’m left alone with Jon.

Over the years, we’ve developed a somewhat close bond that exceeds that of just an employee and a boss.

He treats me as an equal, always seeking my professional opinion on projects.

If he has to go away for a few days, like for Dennis’ graduation, he’s more than happy to leave me in charge .

He takes me in, an indecipherable frown creasing between his grayish-brown eyebrows.

“You coming down with something, Mike? You know, you’re allowed to take a day off from time to time if you’re not feeling well.

” He chuckles, wiping at his sweaty forehead.

“I’ll never hear the end of it from Sarah if I let you come to work unwell. ”

I shake my head, forcing my voice to come out steady. “Nah, I’m good, Jon. Just the heat getting to me, I guess.” Yes, the heat in my pants from thinking about your youngest son moaning around his cum-covered fingers. Shit. I realize I’m groaning, but either Jon doesn’t notice, or he lets it slide.

“Good, good,” he says, taking in the left side of the bed that is ready for the rhododendron bushes. “Looks great, Mike. Well-drained. You think we should mix the fuchsia-colored with the lilac ones or keep them separate on each side of the fountain?”

He’s referring to a small granite fountain with a constant flow of trickling water in the middle of the bed, which we installed last week.

“I think Debra said she wanted them mixed up,” I say.

And just like that, I’m catapulted back to last night, the remnants of Dennis’ spit intermingled with my cum.

The way he spat into his hand before wrapping it around our lengths was so goddamn hot.

I came so fucking fast. Nothing could ever have prepared me for that moment, for how mind-blowingly amazing it felt, our dicks sliding up against each other, the hot smoothness of his skin against mine.

Frotting, he called it—definitely a fan.

Nothing has ever felt that good. And the smells.

His muskiness, hanging in the air in my truck, bore witness to his arousal.

How much he wanted me. The sounds, too. The slapping of skin against skin, the sound of his slick hand wrapped around both of us.

His moans, oh god, his moans. Or were they my moans? I forget. It’s all mix —

“I’ll go double-check,” Jon says, pulling me from my wayward thoughts. “Don’t wanna redo it if we get it wrong. Not in this damn heat.”

“Sure,” I rasp, and there’s that concerned frown again, digging into the space between his brows.

“You sure you’re okay, Mike? You look a little flustered.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good,” I say, trying to disguise the slight tremble in my voice.

It’s going to be a problem if I’m left this big of a mess after each sexual encounter with Dennis.

I’m usually hard to shake, but this—the images flashing through my mind, the phantom feel of Dennis stroking my dick—is fucking with me.

“Well, if you’re sure…”

“I’m sure.” I brush my hands against my face, breathing in deeply through my nose. You’ve got this, Mike Tanner. You’ve got this. You can make it through the day without sporting a boner in front of your boss, who also just happens to be the father of the sexiest guy alive. Shit, I’m so screwed.

Another member of the Holbrook clan is waiting for me when I return home, but not the one I’ve been dying to see or get my hands on all day.

I can’t hide the joy, though, at seeing Aaron sitting on the porch steps, his face lighting up as soon as he sees my truck pull up.

He waves at me as he gets up, then staggers on his feet, nearly losing his balance as Willow blows past him, barking like she hasn’t seen me in a damn week.

Stepping out of the car, I try to brush as much dirt off my pants and T-shirt as possible before meeting Aaron for a side hug .

“There he is.” Aaron tugs at my hair, hugging me back. “For a minute there, I was worried you’d been fucking abducted by aliens.” He winks, a knowing look on his face.

“Nah, just busy, you know.” I end the hug and bend to pet Willow, who’s yapping at my feet, spinning around in circles with excitement.

“Busy?” Aaron lifts an eyebrow, his lips curling into a cheeky smile.

“Yeah, you know, busy with work. Some of us have to earn a living,” I dig, winking at him.

“Hey, I work!”

I know he does. Dennis did, too, all the way through school.

It’s not like the Holbrook kids were born with silver spoons up their asses.

Ass. Dennis’ ass. The feel of his soft skin beneath my fingertips last night as I slid my hands down his shorts and inside his briefs.

The way he swayed his long, slender back, thrusting his hips out to meet me, then pushing forward, his dick rubbing up against mine.

The heat of him when my fingers dipped in between his ass cheeks, the sounds he made, whimpering against my lips as I traced his crease, dusted with the softest, downiest hair. The way he—

“Dude!” Aaron waves a hand in front of my face. “Earth to Mike!”

“Sorry, just a lot on my mind.” See, that’s not lying, is it? I’ve got a lot on my mind. I’ve got your kid brother on my mind 24/7, Aaron . Fuck.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Then Aaron seems to perk up. “You seeing anyone? Anyone I know?” There’s an ambiguity to his question, and combined with the way he looks at me, it makes me think that he already knows. Or at least he suspects that Dennis and I aren’t just friends anymore.

My mouth goes dry as I search for the right thing to say, but Aaron beats me to it, pushing at my shoulder fondly.

“It’s okay, man. You don’t have to tell me.

” He pauses, his expression turning serious.

“I’m just happy for you, is all. You look happy, Mike, and if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you. ”

I nod, a goofy smile spreading across my face as Dennis’ flushed face and dazed eyes manifest before me. I am happy, and it has everything to do with him.

Aaron walks past me, up the porch steps, shaking his head, chuckling, “Shit, dude. You’re a fucking goner.” Reaching for the door, he opens it and calls out over his shoulder, “You got any beer?”

“Does a tiger have stripes?” I follow him, jogging up the steps.

Willow bolts around the house instead, heading for the backyard.

Shit, is it always going to be like this?

Zoning out, my mind going to these dirty places where there’s just Dennis and the feel of him, the smell of him, the taste of him?

It feels unreal because it’s like going from zero to one hundred in a heartbeat.

From having a non-existent libido to suddenly thinking about sex non-stop.

The kitchen is empty as we enter, with Mom still at work.

Aaron heads straight for the fridge, helping himself to a beer and handing one to me.

Opening the bottle, the familiar sizzle sounds before he places it against his lips, taking a long pull.

I briefly place my beer against my heated forehead as I try to focus on the present moment, gathering my thoughts.

“Ahh, fucking epic, man,” Aaron sighs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I fucking needed that.”

I open my beer and take a long pull, too, the cool liquid sliding down my throat.

Aaron moves toward the kitchen island, placing his bottle on the wooden surface, then resting his elbows against it.

“So… Rise of the Planet of the Apes , huh?” His expression is impossible to read, and to buy some time, I take another sip of beer. “Didn’t know you were into sci-fi movies, Mike? ”

I’m into your brother , I nearly blurt, because if you ask me what that movie was about, I have no fucking clue.

“It’s a classic,” I manage to say, playing with the label on my bottle.

“Classic, huh? It’s not that old.”

“Yeah. I mean, Dennis chose the movie.”

“Good?” He tilts his head, his scrutinizing gaze not leaving my face for even a second.

“Sure,” I croak, still fiddling with the label.

Aaron chuckles. “Jeez. You sound exactly like my brother. It takes a real effort to have a conversation with him these days. He keeps zoning out…” Aaron takes another sip from his beer, humor glinting in his brown eyes. “Guess he must have a lot on his mind, too.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Please let it be me. Please let Dennis think about me just like I think about him every fucking second of every day. “He lost his job, you know,” I add.

Aaron sighs. “Yeah, I know. But he went for an interview today, so maybe he’ll have good news when he comes back.”

“He had an interview? Where?” He didn’t tell me about that. A strange sensation sweeps through my chest. Why wouldn’t he tell me about that?

“Down near Siuslaw, I think. The national park is looking for guides.”

“Siuslaw?” My chest tightens, and suddenly it’s like I can’t breathe, the beer now leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

Siuslaw. That’s around 150 miles away. I didn’t know Dennis was looking for work out of town, but why wouldn’t he be?

It’s not like Cannon Beach has a ton of available jobs in his line of work.

And it’s not like he has anything keeping him here.

I mean, we never talked about what we are to each other.

If we’re just dating or if we’re more than that.

Like boyfriends. Boyfriends . Fuck, my chest does that weird clenching thing again, my stomach rolling .

I know how I’m feeling isn’t rational. Dennis hasn’t given me any reason to think that he’s not as serious about me as I am about him.

And still… if he’s looking for a job out of town, does that mean he’s not sure if he wants to stay?

Siuslaw is one thing, but what if he starts looking out of state?

What if I’m just not enough for him to stick around for?

Of course, he’d want a job where he can use his degree; why wouldn’t he?

And if he can’t find that here in Cannon Beach with me, then…

Shit, I’m going to have to tell him. I need him to know that I want him to be my boyfriend. And I definitely don’t want him to leave now that I’ve finally got him back.

Aaron looks at me with concern. “You okay, man? You want another beer?”

I shake my head. “Nah, I’m good.” I’m not good at all.

Suddenly, I need Dennis right here, right now, so I can tell him this is not just something casual to me.

I feel out of my depth here, not used to this constant emotional tug of war inside.

The question continues to burn inside me, wondering if this is real. If we are real. I need to know.

Aaron sighs, rubbing his stomach. “Fuck, beer always makes me crave fries. You wanna go grab something to eat down at the diner?”

“I think I need a shower first. But sure, yeah.” It’s not like I have much of an appetite, but I feel like I owe it to Aaron to hang out with him. He’s finally home, and I have missed him.

I wipe my hands through my dusty hair, then pull my phone from my pants pocket and open my text thread with Dennis from this morning. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me he was going out of town. He just sent me a selfie of him in bed, a cheeky smile on his face, and a text saying, “Thinking of you.”

I type out a message, then place my phone down on the kitchen island.

Mike: I need to talk to you. Meet me after work tomorrow?