Page 14 of It’s Only Love

“Come in,” he says, his deep voice resonant through the door.

I enter his tidy area. I’ve never seen it a wreck, not even during finals.

Neat stacks of papers and books line his desk.

He’s just as put together himself, well-dressed in a pale blue button-up and crisp charcoal-gray slacks.

His hair is as dark as Geoff’s. Shut up about fucking Geoff .

But my professor has wavy hair and a short beard.

I guess he’s attractive, if you’re into elegant men in their mid-forties.

He smiles as soon as he sees me. “Ah, Dennis. Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. Thanks for seeing me.”

He waves a hand at his small sofa, sitting against the wall, his dark green eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong? You don’t look well. You’re not coming down with a virus, are you? That would be terrible with graduation coming up.”

I sit down, feeling that heaviness again. I hate the sensation, like I can’t breathe, and wonder how long it’s going to take to get over. A long time, no doubt.

He sits next to me, his face filled with concern. God, he’s always been so nice and attentive toward me.

“It’s not a virus,” I explain. “It’s personal… You don’t need to worry about it. So, what did you need to see me for, Professor?”

“Dennis, now that you’re graduating, I think you can call me Roman. And think of me as a… friend—an equal. We’re no longer mentor and student, right? You can talk to me.” He smiles, fine lines wrinkling at the corners of his eyes.

Because I trust him, I tell him what happened.

My sigh is long and drawn out. “As you know… Ah, Roman. God, that’s so weird to sa y.

” I chuckle half-heartedly. “So, I’ve been dating a guy for about eight months.

Well, I caught him cheating last night. He was my first real boyfriend, so it’s been a blow, to say the least.” I swallow back the growing bile that threatens to resurface.

“But don’t worry. I’ll be fine. You still haven’t told me what you wanted to see me for. ”

He slings an arm over the back of the loveseat and scoots closer to me. His brow is furrowed with concern. “Jesus, Dennis. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah… It’s been hard to wrap my mind around.”

Then, before I know it, his hand moves to my thigh, and he rests it there, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“No one should hurt you like that. You’re such an amazing young man, and you’re so intelligent and motivated.

It’s been a pleasure having you as my student.

I’ve truly valued our time together.” His voice comes out smooth, deeper than usual.

“Uhm… thanks. I’ve valued our time together, too,” I mumble, my gaze zeroing in on his hand.

Why is his hand on my thigh? In all the time I’ve known him, he’s never touched me, except maybe for a pat on the back.

Alarm bells go off, but I’m not sure from what exactly. He’s just being supportive, right?

He gives my thigh another light squeeze, not removing his hand. It sits there heavy and warm. “I’ve asked you here because there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you, but haven’t been able to until now.”

I swallow around the growing lump in my throat as his hand moves up my thigh. My heart starts racing as my already confused mind swirls in chaos. “Oh?” My voice comes out strained and slightly high-pitched, my heart now hammering in my chest.

He nods and leans forward, his green eyes intense. “I love your drive, Dennis. You’re so special. And you deserve the best in life. You deserve someone who truly appreciates you. ”

“Thanks…” I whisper as I scoot back. Everything about this feels so wrong. I need to get out of here. Those alarm bells are clanging even more loudly, making my head throb. But before I can react, he cups my junk, and his wet mouth is on mine.

I freeze for a second, then tear my mouth from his, shoving him away from me, as I stand. My eyes sting as they start to water at yet another betrayal. “I thought you respected me,” I pant, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand like his kiss is poison.

He looks at me, puzzled, his eyes wild. “Of course, I respect you! It’s why I want you. I thought you’d shown interest in me, too, but couldn’t because of the circumstances.”

“You tell me you respect me, but kiss and touch me without my permission, and then take advantage of me after I told you I was just cheated on. What’s wrong with you?! That’s not respect! That’s the opposite of respect!”

My eyes water as I choke back a sob. Being betrayed by two people I trust in less than twenty-four hours is too much, and I’m struggling to process it all, wondering where in the hell I went wrong.

Can I not trust anyone anymore? Who’s next?

Wes? Mike? No, I can’t imagine those two, but still…

Doubt and confusion ring loudly in my ears.

I trusted Geoff and Professor Mitchell with my whole heart.

If I can’t rely on them, how can I rely on anyone else?

He stands and steps forward, closer to me. “Dennis, please just listen—”

“No!” I refuse to listen to another word.

My headache is back, and my heart feels like it’s going to rip from my chest. My mind tells me to just run. So I do.

Before he can say anything or stop me, I take off, all the way back to my apartment.

I’m out of breath when I walk in, my face wet from tears, consumed by frustration, and gutted by my losses.

Even worse? I hate myself for not having noticed the signs until it was too late.

Two men I respected and cared about stabbed me in the heart.

I’m graduating in a few days, and all I want to do is bury myself in my bed and never come out.

I blow by Wes, who’s in the kitchen, making lunch with the two girls he brought home with him last night.

“Hey? How’d it go?” he asks.

I keep my face turned away from them so they don’t see that I’ve been crying. “Fine.”

I rush to my room, shut my door, and crawl into my bed, wiping my wet face as I pull out my phone.

Scrolling through my contacts, I block and delete Professor Mitchell and Geoff.

Next, I remove all images of Geoff and me.

There are a few with me and my professor, and I delete those, too.

I can’t delete memories, but I can definitely remove anything that visually reminds me of their backstabbing.

With a shuddered breath, I look around my room, and my eyes land on two pictures tucked in the frame of my mirror. I climb out of bed, pull them out of their home, and tear them to shreds.

No more reminders of Geoff.

God, just get me the hell out of this place and back home to Cannon Beach .