Page 38 of It’s Only Love

Mike

Dennis looks damn delicious when he opens the door for me.

His cheeks are sun-kissed from being outside all day fishing, and freckles explode across his nose.

His hair is still mussed and wet after showering, just the way I like it, and I can’t wait to run my fingers through the silky locks.

He leans in to kiss me, a sated smile making his eyes shimmer, but I instinctively pull back.

He chuckles. “Don’t worry. We’re alone. Mom and Dad went out for dinner with Aaron and Amanda.

” He blinks at me, his warm breath hitting my chin in little bursts.

“You can kiss me now.” And just like that, all the nerves dissipate, giving way to want.

Wrapping an arm around his waist, I pull him against me, my mouth finding his, pressing against his soft lips.

“Mmm.” I can’t stop the moan from leaving my mouth.

I’ve missed him. The feel of him, how he tastes, and the way he whimpers when he moves up against me, seeking the closeness.

The kiss grows deeper, and I forget that we’re still standing in the doorway and that anyone could walk by right now and see us.

It happens every time we’re together. I forget myself, and only Dennis exists in my world.

Our tongues meet in a dance, careful and exploring at first, until we get lost in each other, the kiss growing heady.

Dennis moves his hips against mine in sweeping movements, and I feel that familiar need that never really leaves my body, always just lingering, waiting for him to ignite it again.

My hands slide from his waist, down to his lower back, where I cup his tight jean-clad ass. He moans into my mouth, then breaks away laughing.

“Shit, Mike. I guess you’re happy to see me.

” He looks down at my crotch, where I’ve grown hard.

Maybe I should feel embarrassed that my body can’t hide its need for him, how attracted I am to him, but it just makes me so unbelievably happy that I finally feel this burning attraction moving through my body.

“I am,” I say, and then I admit something that I wasn’t planning on admitting, “I’ve missed you.” His expression softens, a tenderness in his eyes that I pretend is reserved just for me.

“I missed you, too.” Then he pokes out his tongue at me, his voice teasing when he speaks, nodding at my crotch. “But not that much.”

I burst into laughter as I reach inside my pocket. “Jeez, will you lay off! I brought you fucking Fireballs!”

“Yeah?” He beams at me like I brought him the entire world on a platter. I swear, no one loves candy as much as my guy. My guy? Oh, shit, I guess he is my guy.

“Awww, Mike,” he coos, his voice still teasing. “That’s so sweet.” He draws out the sweet as he blinks at me, then pulls me back in for a quick kiss, murmuring against my lips, “You’re the best.”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” I mumble back.

He smiles and reaches behind me to cup my ass cheek. “Not yet.” And shit, there goes my mind again, racing off to all sorts of places that involve a naked Dennis underneath or above me or whichever way he’ll let me have him.

He takes a step back, moving aside to let me in. “Permission to enter is granted now that you’ve brought an acceptable currency, good sir.”

I shake my head, snorting, as I move past him. “Dork. I knew you were just in it for the candy.”

He huffs. “Of course! It’s not like I’ve been pining over you since forever.

” His words surprise the shit out of both of us, and Dennis stares at me, mortification in his eyes, the pink color on his cheeks bleeding all the way down his neck now, disappearing behind the neckline of his navy T-shirt.

He groans, throwing his head back. “Okay… that wasn’t awkward at all.

Please help yourself to a drink in the kitchen while I go die from embarrassment. ”

All I can think about is how lean his neck looks and how I would just love to lick at that prominent vein running down the left side, then suck his Adam’s apple into my mouth.

Instead, I continue toward the kitchen, looking over my shoulder as I say, “It’s cute that you’ve been pining for me for… was it forever?”

He scowls back at me. “And… I think it just went away. Yep, I’m cured!”

I tsk. “Liar, liar.” My chest blooms with happiness, and most of the uncertainty I felt on the drive here is gone. I know we still need to talk about us—I need it—but it always helps, being with Dennis. He just eases my mind. Always has.

After grabbing drinks, we move upstairs to Dennis’ room.

It feels strange being here, like looking in on his life from the outside.

There are nature posters adorning the white walls of places he’s been and where he wants to go.

His desk next to the window is spilling over with trail maps and stacks of books that I’m pretty sure are about Oregon wildlife and national parks.

His bed is neatly made, a navy comforter stretched across it, and for some reason, one question goes on repeat in my mind: Does Dennis sleep naked?

I nearly blurt out the words when he moves a few throw pillows out of the way, then sits down on his bed and gestures to the spot next to him. “So what did you want to talk about?”

Oh, shit, so he hasn’t forgotten about my Mike-in-panic-mode text.

He frowns at me, uncertainty building in his eyes while he spins his soda can between his fingers.

I just can’t have that. It makes my heart clench in the same unpleasant way as it did yesterday when Aaron told me Dennis was looking for work out of town.

“Why didn’t you tell me you went for a job interview yesterday?” I sit down next to him, our thighs brushing up against each other. I need his closeness when he tells me why.

He stares at me, then looks down at the soda can. “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew whether I got it.”

I nod. That kind of makes sense, I guess. I lick my bottom lip, still tasting our kiss. “Did you get it?”

“I don’t know yet.” There’s a slight tremble in his voice. “I’m not sure I want it.” He bends, placing the soda can on the floor next to his feet, then leans back up, brushing his hands across his face, sighing. “It’s a long drive. I won’t have as much time at home if I get the job.”

It’s true. He won’t. But he’ll have a job that makes him happy. Then, because he’s Dennis and he knows me like no one else does, he goes and stuns the hell out of me.

“Does that make you feel unsure, Mike?” he asks, like it’s the most normal thing in the world to feel unsure about something, and maybe it is. Maybe I’m not the only one who goes through spells of feeling like this .

I nod, reaching for his hand, tangling my fingers through his. I want to weep with fucking gratitude. Because, fuck if I don’t feel seen right now. Like I felt seen that day in Aaron’s room after Dad died, and Dennis asked me what no one else dared to—if I was sad.

I swallow, admitting my perhaps biggest fear. “I’m afraid we won’t see each other as much. Or not at all. That you’ll eventually move away.” My eyes sting from the admission, and I bring our clasped hands to my face, pressing my lips against the back of his hand.

“I can see how you would worry about something like that. I get it. But I wouldn’t just leave, Mike.

No way I’d do that.” He hesitates, his gaze zeroing in on our tangled fingers.

“Cannon Beach is my home and where I’ll always want to be, but mostly because you’re here.

You’re part of my home, Mike. I’d stay for you because I’ll always want to be where you are. ”

“I don’t want you to be held back by me,” I croak, feeling the sting of those damn tears coming. I blink a couple of times to stave them off. “I want you to have everything you dream about, Den.”

He smiles, chuckling all the way back in his throat, then ruffles my hair. “You silly guy. Don’t you know I dream of a life with you?”

“You do?”

“Of course. To be honest, I always did. Even if we were only friends. You’re a part of me as much as Cannon Beach is.” And now Dennis is the one who’s struggling to blink tears away.

“I want that, too.” I pull him against me and tuck him into my chest. He sighs, my chin resting on his silky hair.

“I really want that,” I repeat in case he didn’t hear me the first time.

He grabs my T-shirt just above my heart and sniffs a couple of times.

I love that we can be vulnerable together like this.

That I’m finally being open with him, and he understands me .

After a while, when my heart isn’t trying to beat its way out of my chest, I ease him away, my gaze finding his.

“I want you to be my boyfriend, Den.”

He smiles, carefully at first, until it nearly splits his face in half. “I thought we already were.” He blushes even more now.

I brush my bangs out of my face, then rest my hands on his shoulders. “Oh. I guess it’s just me trailing behind again.”

“Don’t say that. Maybe you just need a little more time than I do.”

“I don’t need any more time.”

“But if you did, that would be okay, too.”

I slide my hands up his neck, my thumbs sweeping along his stubbly jawline. Then, without looking away, my voice as steady as I can make it, I say, “I want you to be mine, Den—my boyfriend. I want to be able to say that you are, if anyone asks me. Is that okay?”

He blinks at me, a few rogue tears clinging to his lashes. Then he eventually whispers, “Are you trying to kill me, Mike Tanner?”

I shake my head. “No,” I say, sweeping my thumb underneath his eye, then the other, brushing away his tears.

“Shit, you are, aren’t you?” He pulls away. I know he doesn’t like being upset, so it doesn’t bother me when he does.

We’re both quiet for a while, his head resting on my shoulder. His hands are still fisted in my shirt, mine wrapped around him, never wanting to let go.

“I nearly told my family this morning,” he eventually says. “Aaron knows for sure.”

“Yeah, he so does.”

“Wes, too.”

“I don’t mind,” I say.