Page 24 of It’s Only Love
Wes and Aaron have already left to get cleaned up.
Wes has a date, and I have no idea what Aaron has planned.
I think about what Wes said earlier. Should I try again?
No, no trying again. I still need to regroup mentally.
I’m just not in the right headspace, though I’m feeling a little better than I did.
It helps, being surrounded by my family and friends, not to mention having a great job. But every once in a while, I slip back.
My eyes keep pinging to Mike’s chest, and I have to force myself to avert my gaze so I’m not staring like some creeper. God, why do his muscles have to be so defined and fucking glistening?
“Hey, wanna grab a bite to eat?” I ask him.
He smiles sheepishly and shrugs. “Can’t. Mom wants me home for dinner. You and I seem to be eating out a lot lately.”
“Oh… cool. Next time.” I guess it’s just me, then. Even Mom and Dad have a date tonight.
He stares at me for a beat, his eyes glancing down at my bare chest before he looks at me again. Then he quickly shifts his sights to the blue water in the distance.
“Why don’t you come over? I’m sure Mom would love to see you. I think you’re her favorite.”
I roll my eyes and laugh. “Am not. But yeah, sounds good. Thanks. You sure you’ll have enough food and she won’t mind? ”
“Mom always makes too much food. I think she still sees me as a growing boy or something. Anyway, we always have leftovers, so I’m sure there will be enough.”
We walk to our cars, and Mike gets into his truck as I sit in mine. Then I follow him home to his place.
Because we’ve been friends for so long, I’ve thought about asking him if he wants to be roommates.
There aren’t any apartments in Cannon Beach.
You have to go to Seaside to find them. Even then, there aren’t that many.
But then I nixed that idea. Living with Mike would be another level of hell.
I would be constantly surrounded by him, his smell, and his shy smiles…
No, that’s a bad idea. Besides, he’s still taking care of his mom.
Mike and I walk inside the house to the smell of baked fish and garlic. My stomach instantly growls loudly, making Mike laugh.
“Ignore him,” I say, and he laughs harder.
I like his laugh. He doesn’t do it enough. He’s too chill, which I really like about him, but his laughter is something else.
“Hey, Mrs. T,” I say, kissing her cheek.
“Dennis! I didn’t know you were coming.”
“I was stalking Mike. I followed him home like a lost, hungry puppy.”
She giggles, sautéing the garlic before dumping fresh green beans into the pan.
“Speaking of puppies…” Mike walks to the back door and whistles.
Willow bolts like a bullet through the lush grass in the backyard, and skids to a stop in front of Mike before dancing and jumping around him. Then she darts into the kitchen so fast, she slips before she corrects herself, and jumps on me.
I squat and ruffle her fur as she tries to lick my face, but it’s covered in sunscreen and sand.
“What’s up, dog breath?”
“Ugh, I put her outside for a reason. She’s been under my feet all day,” Mike’s mom grouses, but she’s smiling at the chaos.
“I’ll take her home tonight and get her out of your hair if you want.”
She chuckles. “You and Mike are the cutest parents.”
My face flushes, and Mike looks at me wide-eyed, his face red all the way to his ears. Both of us are too embarrassed to say anything, apparently.
Soon, we’re sitting down at the kitchen table, chatting about life and the beach cleanup while eating cracker-crusted cod, garlic green beans, and wild rice.
There’s a lot of laughter. It’s comfortable.
It’s home. Moments like these are what bring me back when I spiral.
Moments like these keep me sane and remind me of simpler times before life turned me upside down.
After dinner, I head home with Willow and take a much-needed shower. I smell like sweat and sunscreen, and I’m covered in sand.
Once clean, I sit on the back porch, wearing only khaki shorts, sipping a bottle of beer, and listening to the swaying trees in the wind.
Willow’s lying calmly at my feet, chewing a rawhide bone.
The night is clear, and you can see millions of stars.
This is the best I’ve felt in a long time.
Having dinner at Mike’s place really put me at ease.
Suddenly, the screen door slams shut, and Aaron walks out, handing me a cold bottle of beer before sitting on the cushioned wicker chair next to me. “Want another?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Willow stands, sniffs Aaron, and licks his hand. He gives her a quick pat before she’s munching on her bone again .
We sit there for a while, enjoying the silence, which is unusual when you get the Holbrook boys together. Then again, we’ve grown up a lot.
“He watches you, you know,” Aaron says out of the blue.
“Who?”
“Don’t play stupid.”
I swallow hard, worried about a fight coming, so I downplay it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but even if he was, it doesn’t matter.”
He looks at me, but I can’t see his features in the dark.
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I say again. What’s the point of talking about something that’s never going to happen anyway? And what’s with Wes and Aaron even bothering to mention it?
“I’ve always known, by the way.” Before I can ask what, even though deep down, I already know what he’s going to say, he says, “I’ve always known about your crush on Mike.”
I shake my head. “How? I’ve never told anyone until Wes and I became friends.”
“Bro… anyone with eyes could see it. Remember, I was around you both all the time before I left for college. Mike was clueless, but I saw the stolen looks, the lovey-dovey eyes you always swung his way. You were pretty young, so you sucked at hiding it.”
I pick at the label on the beer bottle. It comes off easily with the condensation.
“Oh…” That’s all I can say. I don’t know how Aaron feels about it.
He was friends with Mike first. I don’t bother defending or denying it because, again, it doesn’t matter in the end.
The result is still the fucking same. I don’t trust myself to date again, and Mike is off-limits .
Aaron chugs back his beer and stands. “Just be good to each other, yeah?” he says, not saying anything else as he walks back into the house, leaving my jaw dropped.