Page 36 of It’s Only Love

Dennis

“Dennis!” Mom calls me from downstairs.

I tug the hem of my T-shirt down and smooth out the chest as I step into the hall. The smell of bacon and buttery pancakes hits my nose. I inhale deeply and instantly salivate. “Yeah, Mom?”

“Wesley’s here, honey.”

“Coming.”

I whistle to Willow, who’s lying on her back in my bed, spindly legs sticking up. She’s utterly ridiculous, and I love it. She instantly rolls over and jumps off the bed to come downstairs with me. Aaron brought her home with him yesterday after he hung out with Mike.

The plan is to take Willow to the beach and do some fishing.

Mike’s working, so he can’t come with us.

Today is about chilling, then tomorrow I plan to look for more work or go and beg for my job back.

I’m totally up for a bit of groveling. Maybe by now, Mr. Hutchins isn’t so mad at me anymore.

I can only hope because driving all the way to Siuslaw National Forest yesterday was way too long, and the thought of being so far from Mike is daunting.

It took me nearly three hours to get there.

I don’t know if I got the job, but if I do, I’m not sure what to do.

I love Mike, but I have to work, too. I need to gain experience in my field and save some money.

Mike didn’t know I had an interview down there. I feel bad for not telling him, but what’s the point if I don’t even get the job? I didn’t want to stress him out. Hell, I was stressed out. I sigh inwardly. I guess I need to talk to him about my employment plan and how it’ll affect us.

He texted me yesterday that he wants to talk to me about something after work today. My mind has, of course, gone to all sorts of weird places already—or hot places that smell of all things Mike. Okay, that was a detour. Happens a lot lately.

Next week, I also plan to start setting up my non-profit and apply for some grants. It’ll take a while, so no time like the present, right? Get the ball rolling as I gain more experience.

Willow tears down the stairs, nearly knocking me over, to greet Wesley. He bends down to her eye level and gives her a pet. He laughs and stands, holding out his fist to me. I bump it, and we head into the kitchen.

“Wes, are you eating breakfast?” Mom asks, wiping her hands on a dishtowel before plating several strips of bacon and setting the platter on the table.

He kisses her cheek, and she shoos him away, giggling. “Yes, ma’am. Give me all the bacon.”

Dad and Aaron are already sitting down with their own plates stacked with pancakes. When Willow starts begging for food, Mom shoos her outside. “Out! No begging princesses in the kitchen.”

Since Dad promoted Mike, he gets to go to work later these days, while poor Mike has to get up at the ass-crack of dawn.

“What are you boys doing today?” Dad asks, sliding a fork through his pancakes, taking a bite .

Mom sets a plate in front of me with two pancakes, smothered in melted butter and syrup. I snatch two pieces of bacon and put them on my plate. “Wes and I are going fishing.” I look over at my brother, who’s scrolling through his phone while sipping some orange juice. “Wanna go, Aaron?”

He looks at me and shrugs. “Maybe. Amanda just texted me that she’s got to cancel our plans for today.”

“Cool,” I say, forking some pancake. Mom makes some of the best pancakes in town, cooking them in a cast-iron skillet. There’s enough butter on them to give a horse a heart attack, but they’re the best.

Mom finally sits down, always the last one to do so, since she cooks for everyone. “How’s job hunting, honey?” she asks.

My fork hovers over my mouth as all the stress comes rushing back to me at full force. “Well, I interviewed over at Siuslaw National Forest.”

“I still think that’s kind of far, Den. We talked about this already,” Aaron said.

“No shit!” I instantly regret snapping. Everyone’s faces are in shock because I never talk like that. “Sorry,” I mumble. How do I explain that if I get a job so far from home, it’s going to be hard to have a real chance with Mike?

I sigh, setting my fork down, taking a long gulp of orange juice.

“Dude,” Wesley says.

“Dennis?” Mom’s tone is firm but gentle, a sure sign that a lecture is coming on.

It’s time to come clean about everything. I think I’m okay enough that I’m not going to weep like a damn baby when I talk about it. Or at least, I hope so.

Everyone grows quiet, and they’re all staring at me.

Yeah, they need to know what’s been going on with me.

I wish I could talk about Mike, but we haven’t discussed telling our parents about us yet, even if his mom kind of figured it out.

“Sorry,” I say again. “I’ve been… kind of a mess lately.

Stressed out. I… didn’t tell you the full truth. ”

“Truth about what?” Aaron asks. “About you and—”

I give him a slight shake of my head to shut him up because I know what he’s about to say. Now isn’t the time to mention Mike. At least he’s got the brains to stop while he’s ahead.

“About what happened at school close to graduation,” I admit. It still makes me itch thinking about it all, but I think I’m ready to tell them without needing to hide in my room for all of eternity.

Mom’s chair scrapes against the floor as she stands. She walks to the coffeemaker and pours herself a cup. “I knew something was off with you. You haven’t been yourself for months. Something felt wrong during graduation. I see that now, looking back. We were just so excited and…”

“It’s okay, Mom. I tried to hide it. I did hide it.”

Aaron leans back in his chair, eyeing me carefully, scrutinizing, making me squirm. He’s going to make a good lawyer one day. “What are you talking about?”

Dad huffs. I can tell he’s getting impatient. Not in an angry way, but he’s dying to know what I’m talking about. He prefers things to be simple and straightforward. “Hide what? And what does this have to do with you looking for a job? Or snapping at your brother?”

I lean back in my chair, stretch out my legs under the table, and stare at the ceiling as everyone has their eyes pinned on me.

“It’s like I’ve been struggling to breathe.

Everything just got dumped on me all at once, it seems.” I sit up, take another bite of bacon, procrastinating because this shit is hard to admit, especially since I’ve been hiding everything for so long.

“First it was Geoff, then it was my professor, then I lost my job…”

I eye Wes, who’s frowning and narrowing his eyes.

We pretty much tell each other everything, and I’ve kept this huge secret from him.

It’s not that I don’t trust anyone with what happened, but it was easier to compartmentalize it all.

Telling people would force me to relive it again and again. It was painful enough telling Mike.

As I pick at my pancakes, not looking at anyone, I plow through it, like ripping off a bandage. “You remember my boyfriend Geoff from college? Well, we didn’t just break up. He cheated on me. I caught him getting it on with another dude.”

Mom sets her mug on the counter and heads my way. “Oh, honey, I’m—”

I raise my hand at her as she approaches, ready to give me a mom hug, but I’m not ready for that. “I’m not done. Please. Just… let me get this out.”

She nods and sits back down. Everyone else is quietly waiting.

“Geoff gaslit me into believing it was my fault for his cheating. I… won’t get into why he thought that. It doesn’t matter. But he was my first boyfriend, and I was pretty devastated. It happened just before graduation. He was so… cruel about it, too, just digging that knife in deeper.”

Wes huffs, stands, and pours himself a cup of coffee, stirring in as much sugar as I like to use. “Why didn’t you tell me, man? I would’ve been there for you had you talked to me. You didn’t have to go through that alone.”

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t tell anyone. It took a while to wrap my head around, but it wasn’t just Geoff. There’s… more.”

I quickly recount what happened with Professor Mitchell and how he touched me. How crushed and betrayed I felt. I explain how it all completely blindsided me, and I didn’t know how to process it, blaming myself for most of it.

Dad’s face grows gradually redder, and he’s clenching his fork as if it had wronged him somehow. “That man needs to be fired immediately! ”

“I agree,” Aaron says, nodding. His body is relaxed, his legs stretched out like mine, but his face is hard, his jaw clenching. “I know some people who can get the ball rolling to fire him and sue that fucking bastard.”

“No. It’s too late, and it doesn’t matter. Who are they going to believe? A tenured professor mentor who’s been around for years? Or a lowly student?”

Mom is angry, too, sniffling as she throws down her napkin on the table, which she used as a tissue. “There has to be something we can do.”

“Just forget it,” I insist. “I don’t want to go through all that shit again.”

Aaron huffs and shoves away his plate of unfinished pancakes. “He needs to fucking suffer, Den!”

“Aaron… language,” Dad admonishes.

“No, this is the perfect time for expletives. He fucking touched Denny. Our Denny. My fucking brother! This professor shouldn’t get away with it.”

“Jesus, this shit just got serious,” Wes says. “God, Den. I’m so fucking sorry. I get why you didn’t say anything, but just know, I would’ve been there for you.”

I smile at my friend. At least he’s calmer than my brother. But I expected this reaction from Aaron. “Thanks, man.”

Aaron huffs and puffs as he’s prone to doing when he doesn’t get his way. “What we need to do is find these other students and bring them forward.”

“Do it. Aaron, can you set something up? Try to find out if there are other students?” Dad asks. “I’ll call Delvin Morris, my lawyer, too. See what he can drum up.”