Page 37 of It’s Only Love

“I said no!” I snap again, not regretting it this time.

All eyes are on me again. I look at my family and Wes, all of them tight-lipped and jaw clenched.

I agree my professor doesn’t deserve to get away with it, but I don’t want to go through it again.

I don’t want to see that bastard ever again.

Why can’t I just move on with my fucking life?

Aaron turns in his chair to face me and leans forward, elbows on his thighs, his hands reaching for my hand. His sigh is heavy and drawn out. “It’s your life. I’m just so fucking…”

“Angry. I know. I am, too. But I just can’t.”

“You got it. God, I’m so sorry this happened, Den.” His eyes cast downward at our clasped hands. “I want to fucking hurt him…”

“Son, are you sure?” Dad asks me.

“Yes. Can I please just move on from this?”

Mom and Dad look at each other before looking at me. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and Dad still looks pissed. Not at me, but at the situation. I completely get the feeling of helplessness, but I just need to move on. Reliving that shit is the last thing I want to do.

I pull my hand away, no longer hungry, and stand.

I appreciate their support, but telling them just renewed my pain, so it’s clearly still a sore spot.

I leave the kitchen, and as the screen door slams behind me, Willow comes bounding over with her tennis ball in her mouth, oblivious to what just went down.

I take it and lob it across the yard, and she chases after it.

After tossing the ball a few times, someone gently touches my shoulder, and I flinch. I’m done talking about this, and I almost regret ever bringing it up, but they should know, too.

“Dennis, turn around, please,” Mom says calmly but firmly.

My shoulders droop, and I turn to face her, but I’m staring at my feet in the grass. She places her hand on my cheek, and immediately, my armor begins to crumble away at her touch. “He sexually assaulted you, sweetheart.”

“I know,” I rasp .

“I’m so, so sorry, honey. God, I feel… helpless here. I want to strangle the man for daring to touch you and for him to suffer, but… I respect your decision. It’s your life.”

“I don’t want to see him again. The betrayal of someone I gave my trust to… twice in one day. It really messed me up, Mom. I’m firm on this.”

She wraps her arms around me and pulls me against her.

I rest my head on her shoulder and hold her, choking back the threatening tears, so sick of feeling like this.

“I understand, honey. He’s wrong on so many levels.

He used his authority to manipulate you.

Hitting on you is one thing, but touching you inappropriately is another. That’s assault.”

“I know,” I whisper, my fingers tugging on her shirt.

“Thank you for finally telling us. It was brave of you. I’m so angry at myself for not pushing you to talk. I knew something was wrong, but I also try to give my boys the space they need.”

My cheek rests on her shoulder as I wipe my eyes, tears still threatening to spill. “Thank you for the space. I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

“I’ll set something up with Dr. Arden here in town if you want. You should talk to her about all this. It’s clear you’re still not okay.”

Talking to a professional could help me process everything better. “Maybe.”

“In the meantime, why don’t you come work for me until you find something permanent, or get your business going? You can work for as long as you need to. I can’t pay tons, but you’ll at least have some spending money.”

I huff a laugh, recalling all the times I worked in her store to help. I think I fucked around more than I worked.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll think about it. But I’d rather try to find my own way.”

“Well, the offer stands. ”

She pulls me down to kiss my cheek before heading back inside. Willow licks my fingers, and I look down at her smiling, petting her head.

Shortly after, Wes comes out, still not looking happy. The guilt runs through me for not telling him, but I probably wouldn’t have done anything differently.

He walks over to me and grips my shoulder affectionately, not saying anything about what went down. It’s just his way of letting me know he’s there if I ever want to talk or need a friend. “Let’s go fishing,” he says. “Aaron is tossing his fishing gear into my truck.”

“Sounds good.”

Thirty minutes later, the three of us are casting our fishing lines out into the water to catch surf perch. If we have a decent catch today, Mom will filet them and cook them up for dinner tonight. Willow sits next to me, panting and being surprisingly calm.

Neither of us said much on the drive over here, but I sense Wes and Aaron’s frustration with me.

I know they want me to face this and deal with my professor, but I won’t.

They just want to protect me. I get that.

But I know with time, it’ll get better. It already is. Eventually, they’ll move on, too.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all, but in hindsight, I probably wouldn’t have done anything differently.

I was screwed over by two people I trusted within twenty-four hours.

It really fucked with my head, and I blamed myself for the longest time.

” I hold my hand up, stopping Aaron and Wes from interrupting and disputing what I just said.

“Please don’t tell me it wasn’t my fault.

Deep down, I know that. Just… Again, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all, but I didn’t want to relive it. Hell, I barely processed it as it was.”

Wes reels in his bait, teasing the fish to get a bite, and I do the same. “I just wish I’d been there for you or noticed something was off. ”

“I didn’t notice either. I feel like the worst brother,” Aaron says, casting his bait out into the water again before looking at me. “Is there anything else you’re keeping from us?”

Wes snorts a laugh. “Like someone who’s tall, broad, and socially awkward?”

As much as I want to admit that Mike and I are giving this dating thing a go, it’s not my place. It’s not just my story. Telling them is essentially outing Mike, and we haven’t talked about our relationship or who we’re going to tell about it.

“It’s not my story, man,” I say, which is pretty much admitting it, but I have to say something or else they’ll pester the shit out of me. I’d love to shout out to anyone who’d listen that I get to kiss and touch Mike, something that has only been in my fantasies, but for now, no one needs to know.

Before they can complain or push, I get several sharp tugs on my line. “Got one!”

Thank fuck, crisis averted!