Page 9 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

Quietly strolling around the streets of the town, Jan looked up at the clear night sky, appreciative that Morgan had joined her for a walk.

When she had texted her earlier, Jan wasn’t sure if Morgan had really wanted to respond.

They’d been chatting…until they weren’t. “Thank you for joining me tonight.”

“I enjoy spending time with you. You’re good company.”

“Oh.” Jan was surprised by that. “I wasn’t sure if my texts were too much earlier.”

“No. Not at all.” Morgan smiled as they crossed the street. “While I was texting you, Amanda turned up.”

“Amanda is the woman you were seeing but not seeing, yes?” Jan didn’t like the idea of Morgan being involved with a married woman, but she did believe her when Morgan said she was completely unaware of the fact. They didn’t know one another. She had no reason to lie to Jan.

“Yep. That’s the one. I didn’t think she was going to leave, to be honest.” They stopped outside a bar, and Morgan cocked her head towards it. “Fancy a quick drink?”

“Yes, okay.” They made their way inside, and Jan found a table for them. When Morgan returned and Jan had a glass of Merlot in her hand, she relaxed into the environment. “Do you see any kind of reconciliation with Amanda?”

“No. It was nothing serious anyway. There was always something about Amanda that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, so I was never all in. Neither was she. It was just…fooling around, if you will.”

“Genuine question,” Jan said as she shifted in her seat a little. “Is that something you enjoy? No strings…casual?”

Morgan sipped her beer and lifted a shoulder. “Sometimes it’s all I can have. The bar is my life, and even though I love being there and meeting all kinds of new people, it does affect my love life.”

Jan stared down at the rich red liquid in her glass. “I don’t even know what dating looks like these days. It’s not something I’ve had to worry about for a long time.”

“You’ll be okay. It’s not as scary as you probably think it is.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Gillian and Finn certainly didn’t have an easy time.” Jan couldn’t bear the thought of taking an interest in someone that society saw as risky.

“Well, unless you’re a lecturer and planning to sleep with your student, I wouldn’t worry about it being anything remotely similar.”

“No, you’re right.” Jan smiled.

“What is it that you do? If you don’t mind me asking…”

Jan lowered her wine glass to the table. “I worked with Phil. He has a housing development business and a separate security business. I took care of all things office-related on the housing development side of things.”

“You’re really not going back to work with him?”

“It’s not something I can even begin to imagine.

” The day Jan walked back into the office, she knew she would fall apart.

Everyone would know about the affair—news always travelled fast in those settings—and she didn’t want everyone whispering about it behind her back.

“But I don’t know what the plan is right now. I’m taking it one hour at a time.”

“You will be okay, you know, Jan. It’ll take some time to find your feet and find a new normal, but in the end, you’ll thrive. I’m sure of it.”

“How can you possibly say that? You know practically nothing about me.”

Morgan angled her head. “Well, I know that you light up my bar every time you step foot inside it. I know that you’re great fun to be around. I know you’re very close to your friends and you’d probably do anything for them. I could go on, but I won’t.”

Oh, Jan wished Morgan would continue. For the last few days, Jan had felt unsure of herself. If Morgan believed in her, then she would take it. She dipped her head and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Your husband may have royally fucked up, but don’t let it defeat you. You have so much to look forward to. You just have to be patient.”

Jan knew she would find herself again. She just didn’t know how that would happen. “You know what, can we just forget about my failed marriage tonight?”

“That sounds like a good idea to me.” Morgan inched her glass towards Jan’s as Jan picked hers back up and clinked them together. “Cheers to being amazing women who don’t take shit from anyone.”

Jan could only allow the warmth she felt inside as Morgan gazed back at her. “Mm. Cheers to that.”

* * *

Morgan shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans as they left the bar, aware of how she’d felt as she sat across a table from Jan.

If she didn’t do something with her hands, she was worried she would reach out and take one of Jan’s.

Spending the evening away from the bar had been good for Morgan, but it only left her wanting to do it more often.

She couldn’t recall the last time she had taken her jacket from the hook behind her door and strolled around the local area.

The fresh air was a nice change from the smell of alcohol.

They crossed a side street and passed by the closed shops.

Morgan didn’t want to head back just yet, but Jan looked tired.

She hadn’t seemed that way when they’d been talking, but Morgan understood that Jan’s days were likely a lot to deal with lately.

If this was the end of the night for them, then so be it.

“Thanks for inviting me out. It’s been lovely.”

“I know you said the bar is your life, but does that also mean you work a lot, too?”

Morgan held up a hand. “Guilty.”

“Then we should do this again when you’re available. It gets me out of that stuffy hotel room and you away from the place you spend most of your time.”

Morgan smiled as she side-eyed Jan. “I’d like that.”

“Please tell me to piss off if you don’t fancy it, though.”

It would take a lot for Morgan to turn down an evening like this with Jan. Unless she was severely sick in bed, she was going to make herself available for this woman whenever she could. “I’ll always fancy it.”

“I will tell Gillian and Finn soon. I’m just trying to sort things out in my own head before I have to have that conversation.

Gillian is going to be just as shocked as I was when I found out.

” Jan suddenly linked an arm through Morgan’s.

“Once they know, you won’t have to feel obligated to do any of this with me. ”

Morgan tightened her arm and effectively drew Jan closer to the side of her. “Do I look like this is any trouble for me?”

“Well, no.” Jan smiled, and if Morgan’s eyes weren’t deceiving her, she would say she was blushing a little, too.

“Then I don’t know why you would think I feel obligated to do this with you.”

Jan sighed. “I guess I’m just surprised by how accommodating you’ve been. How much you’ve helped me through recent days.”

“It’s just who I am. Always there to help everyone other than myself.” It was true. She was forever doing something for someone or making sure everyone else was okay, but when it came to herself…Morgan generally pushed what she wanted to the back of her mind.

“Why is that?”

“Because I know how things usually go for me.” Morgan lifted a shoulder as they turned a corner and landed in front of the local park.

She expected Jan would want to separate here since her hotel was nearby, but Jan just continued walking.

Morgan wouldn’t stop her. It meant they got more time alone with one another.

“Even the smallest part of me is jealous that you’ll have the chance to date soon. ”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you must have so many women on offer. You own a bar, for the love of God.”

“Mm. All straight, it seems. Or…straight again once they’ve taken what they want from me.

” Morgan glanced in Jan’s direction, admiring her profile against the streetlights.

“I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve found myself attracted to a straight woman.

” Morgan locked eyes with Jan as Jan turned her face to her. “Case in point.”

“I still don’t know why you’ve ever found me remotely attractive.” Jan laughed as she said that, almost as though it was self-deprecating. “But I am sorry you’ve had those experiences with women.”

Morgan could reel off all the reasons she’d found Jan attractive, but what was the point?

She would rather befriend Jan than make it awkward between them.

Because inevitably, it always ended that way.

Morgan didn’t want to risk that here. Jan was great company, regardless of the fact that Morgan was into her. “I’m sure I’ll live.”

“And love, at some point.” Jan winked as they took the gravelled path around the park.

It was a mild night, only requiring something light in terms of layers, but Morgan would have been warm anyway.

Jan was one of those women who was unassuming to some people but drop-dead gorgeous to most others.

Morgan fell into the latter. Her temperature had risen the moment she’d laid eyes on Jan standing in the middle of the bar, holding the most gorgeous flowers.

“Did you feel anything for Amanda at all?”

“Oh, yeah. I cared about her. Of course I did.” God, Morgan didn’t want Jan to think she just fucked her way around the city. It really wasn’t like that. “We both knew what it was. We agreed. I just wish she’d been forthcoming with me about her marriage.”

“I think that if it worked for you at the time, then you shouldn’t let it get to you. Like Phil, she’s the one in the wrong. Neither you nor I should feel guilty about anything.”

Morgan appreciated that. “You’re right. It’s easy to blame yourself, though. I’m sure you’ll agree.”

“I’ve been the master of blaming myself recently. But then I sat there in the hotel room, wondering why I should lay the blame on myself. I didn’t drop my pants for anyone other than my husband.”

Oh, I wish you’d drop your pants for me. Morgan batted that away and shook her head. “You did nothing wrong.”

“And neither did you.” Jan gave Morgan a knowing look. “If I find out that you’ve taken any blame whatsoever, you and I will fall out.”

“Nah. This one is all on Amanda. I know that.”

“So, what does the rest of the night have in store for you?” Jan was still linking Morgan’s arm with her own. Did she even realise she was doing it? Morgan wasn’t about to alert her to the fact.

“Not much. Home, maybe some TV, then bed. Same old, really.”

“I’d invite you over to my place, but I don’t have one of those at the moment.” Jan laughed. Morgan was glad she could find some humour in this situation. Then again, she guessed Jan would cry if she wasn’t laughing about it. “Maybe one day soon I’ll be able to return the favour.”

“And when that day comes, I’ll be the first on the doorstep with the best bottle of red I can find.”

Jan smiled. “It’s a date!”