Page 43 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

Excited to surprise Jan at home this evening, Morgan had spent the last hour clock watching, her foot repeatedly tapping against the floor.

She hadn’t heard from Jan since she’d left her place earlier today, but Morgan was taking it as a good sign.

Hopefully, Jan was sitting drinking coffee with Gillian, and all of their issues were a thing of the past. Even though Morgan didn’t know Gillian as well as she would have liked to know her by now, Gillian wasn’t the kind of person to let Jan go through everything alone.

It just didn’t seem possible. Jan was her best friend.

They were joined at the hip. Gillian was going to come through for her. Without a doubt.

Just as Morgan was dreaming about her evening with Jan, Finn came through the door.

She didn’t know why she was here—Morgan had told Finn to find somewhere else to drink—but the bar was busy tonight, so she wouldn’t make a scene.

Maybe she’s here because Jan and Gillian are having a heart-to-heart.

As she watched Finn cross the room, Megan and Tyler came in behind her.

She smiled and offered a small wave, knowing she would have to give her staff a decent summer bonus for having her back today.

They’d agreed to work what was left of the evening shift and lock up once midnight came.

Morgan didn’t plan to be back here before the morning, and she’d told them as much when she’d called them.

Her phone lit up on the shelf. It was Jan.

With excitement building in the pit of her stomach, Morgan grinned as she lifted her phone. If Finn had something to say, she could wait until Morgan had replied to Jan. Jan…who had no idea Morgan was cutting her shift short and heading over there.

As Morgan opened the message, her heart sank.

I’m sorry. I need space.

Morgan glared at the screen when another message came through.

None of this is about you. You’ve been amazing, Morgan. But my friendships are falling apart and I’m already picking up the fragments that I have left of my life.

Morgan did give Finn her full attention this time. She stared through her, determined not to get upset while she was standing behind her own bar. But it would be a struggle. Morgan felt the waves of emotion beginning to build within her. “What the fuck have you done?”

Finn frowned. “Excuse me?”

“You and Gillian. What the fuck have you done?”

“I, uh…what?” Finn asked as she rested her elbows on the bar. “I’ve just come in for a pint. I’m not here to fall out with you, Morgan, and I’m not here to get involved in your relationship with Jan.”

“I told you to drink elsewhere.”

“Well, yeah, but I wanted to apologise to you.” Finn held out a hand. “Truce? I don’t like fighting with people. Especially not you.”

“Nah. You can fuck off. Both of you.” Morgan took a step back and frowned. “And thanks for fucking it all up with Jan. You’ll be thrilled to know that she wants nothing to do with me anymore.”

Finn slowly lowered her hand and visibly swallowed. “What are you talking about?”

“Jan. She’s just texted me. Said she needs space and apologised.”

Finn pulled herself up onto a stool and nodded. “I mean, I can understand why she’s asked for space. She’s been through a lot, as you know. Maybe she’s realised it’s time to stop and reflect on the last couple of months.”

“She said it was because of her friendships. I’m guessing Gillian got into her head.

And you , more than likely.” Morgan had truly believed this was going somewhere with Jan.

Until Jan had gone over to see Gillian this afternoon, everything was going really well.

And now, Morgan had no idea what to do. Did she still go over there?

No, she couldn’t. Jan had asked for space, and Morgan had no choice but to give it.

“I honestly thought you were one of my friends, Finn.”

“What? You are my friend.” Finn softened, but Morgan didn’t. No, she was ready to blow. “Morgan, relax. It’ll blow over. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

Tyler and Megan came from the room that led to the cellar and slipped past Morgan.

They got chatting to customers, but they may as well not be here.

Morgan was now paying them for no reason.

She didn’t have anywhere she needed to be anymore.

She focused back on Finn. “Enjoy your night. I’m going to bed. ”

“Morgan, wait.” Finn rushed to the side of the bar and stopped Morgan from opening the door that led to her flat. “I don’t want us to be like this. I can’t change what’s happened, but I don’t want this.”

“Newsflash: my life isn’t on your fucking terms, Finn.

” Morgan shoved past her and rushed up the stairs.

For the first time in so many years, Morgan was going to break down.

She felt the tears stinging her eyes and she felt the swell of emotion rise up in her throat.

She forced her key into the door at the top of the stairs as tears slid down her cheeks.

Only as she tried to close the door once she was inside, Finn’s foot was stopping it.

“Seriously, Finn. You need to back off.”

“Let me in. I want to talk to you.”

Morgan didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Unless Jan turned up here, she was all out of conversation. “I just want to be on my own.”

Finn shook her head and stepped inside Morgan’s flat.

“I know I shouldn’t have got involved or even said what I was thinking, but the shock of finding out you’ve been sleeping with Jan still hasn’t worn off.

” Finn dropped down onto Morgan’s couch and dragged a hand through her hair.

“We can’t believe she’s getting divorced, let alone sleeping with you. ”

“God, I wish you’d stop saying that.” Morgan clenched her hands into fists at her side.

Why did people keep making their blossoming relationship seem less than it actually was?

“We’re not just fucking one another, Finn.

She’s just spent a week in Spain with me.

We’re together most nights. Whatever ideas you have in your head about us, I can promise you that they’re all wrong. Every last one of them.”

“She went to Spain with you? I thought you were visiting friends down south?”

“I told you that because I wanted Jan to feel comfortable. I didn’t want her to feel pressured to come out to you and Gillian.

When I asked her, I thought she’d say no.

Only she didn’t. She came with me, and we had the most amazing week together.

” Morgan scoffed. “Taking her away was something her ex-husband should have been doing all these years.” She reached for a bottle of whiskey on the kitchen counter, took two glasses from the cupboard, and joined Finn on the couch.

“I know you think I’m not good enough for her, and I know Gillian hates the fact that I live and breathe now, but she made me happy, Finn. ”

“She is lovely.” Finn smiled. “I think she’s the reason me and Gillian got back together.”

“I know that this won’t last. I know she’s going to break my heart when she realises I’m just me and she could do a million times better.

But you know what? I would have been happy with the pain and the hurt down the line if it meant I’d had the chance to be with her.

Even briefly.” Morgan had spent years pushing potential love interests away.

Women who deserved her undivided attention, not an hour here and there when Morgan could take a break or had a random day off.

“I was finally in a place where I enjoyed being with someone again. She made me feel as though something more was possible.”

“You’ve only just left Amanda, and she’s only just left Phil.” Finn offered a single nod in thanks when Morgan handed her a glass of whiskey. “How can either of you be in a position to date? I mean, you hate dating.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that it wasn’t serious with Amanda.

We were never together. She used to show up here when she wanted a fuck, and that was the extent of it.

Even I felt dirty in the end because I realised it was why she was coming here.

” Morgan wouldn’t make that mistake ever again with another woman.

“But Jan was different. She was…everything I’d dreamed of.

” Morgan smiled when Jan’s face flitted into her mind.

“I’ve been into her since the first time you guys brought her here.

But I knew she was married and I’d never?—”

“Is that why you kissed her? Because you knew she’d left him?”

“She kissed me. Everything that happened was on Jan’s say-so. Not that I didn’t agree, but she kissed me . She instigated it all. I was too much of a coward to make the first move. Mostly because it’s Jan but also because I knew what she was going through.”

“You’re really into her, aren’t you?”

Morgan nodded as she stared down at her glass. Her eyes burned, and as she sniffled, Finn pressed a hand to her shoulder. “Like I’ve never been into anyone before, yeah.”

“Shit.” Finn sunk back into the couch. “She came over before. She didn’t stay long, but I told her you weren’t really the commitment type. Because…for as long as I’ve known you, you haven’t been.” Finn sighed. “I’m sorry, Morgan. I’ll make it right. I promise you.”

“Just…leave it alone. It’s probably for the best, anyway.

” Morgan knew that was a lie, all she wanted was to be with Jan tonight, but if they’d filled her head with bullshit, Morgan would let Jan figure it all out in a way that suited her best. “I just wish you could have given me the benefit of the doubt.”

“I wasn’t thinking. I was so worried about Jan that no matter what she said to me, I dismissed it. Instead of just supporting what she wanted, what she was saying, I told her to think about what she was doing.”