Page 38 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

The bar door swung open, and Finn came bursting through it suddenly. “You and I need to talk, so you’d better make yourself available right now.”

Morgan frowned as she turned her watch towards herself. “It’s a bit early for you, isn’t it? Don’t you have a lecture you should be at?”

“Are you serious?” Finn scoffed. “You’re actually seeing Jan?”

Ah. They knew.

Morgan had a feeling it was only a matter of time before they had to explain themselves, but that was the beauty of Jan.

She made Morgan forget everything that was going on around her.

To Morgan, Jan didn’t feel like some terrible secret.

No, she just felt like a woman Morgan wanted to keep to herself for as long as possible.

“First of all, lose the fucking attitude, Finn.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m really fucking confused.” Finn threw up her hands and laughed. “We are talking about the same Jan, right? Jan Bartlett…Gillian’s best friend? Y-you…and Jan Bartlett?”

Morgan wasn’t sure how Finn had meant that to come across, but it hurt.

Deeply . Neither Finn nor Gillian had any idea what Morgan and Jan had shared to date.

Perhaps if they had, Finn wouldn’t find this so funny.

“And there I was, thinking you were my friend.” Morgan slid from her stool and made her way back behind the bar.

“If you have nothing nice to say about all of this, you can fuck off and find somewhere else to drink with your wife.”

“No, I need you to lay this all out for me. Like…honestly, how did that even happen?”

Morgan shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Finn. How do you think it happened? You’ve been a lesbian a long time…you know where I’m going with this.”

Finn strode across the room and braced her hands against the bar counter. “I’m going to say this to you as your friend. You need to end this now.”

Morgan nodded slowly, her chest aching for the position she found herself in.

Of all the people in Morgan’s life, she thought Finn would be the one to understand.

She thought Finn would back her when it came to this.

Even when she’d worried about them finding out, she didn’t think the reaction would be this severe.

“You want me to stop seeing her. Of course you do.” Morgan sighed. “I told Jan this would happen.”

“Jan has just left her husband of near on thirty years. She doesn’t know what she’s doing from one day to the next.” Finn may well believe that, but nothing about Jan suggested that she was confused or unsure about where she was at right now. “Please tell me you didn’t take advantage of her.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Was it a one-night stand or something?” Finn asked, her brows drawn. “I mean, it doesn’t really matter what it was…you have to end it, Morgan.”

“Why? Because you say so?” Morgan lifted a brow. She didn’t appreciate Finn coming here and telling her what to do about her personal life, but it would be the last time that she did. “Have you even asked Jan how she feels about any of this? You sure as shit haven’t asked me!”

“I… What?”

“You’ve just come in here claiming I should do what you want me to do with no idea what’s happening or how long it’s been going on.” Morgan rested her forearm on a beer pump and glared at Finn. “I know you both think that Jan is some fragile flower, but I can assure you that she’s not.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that she’s having a really fucking hard time right now.”

Morgan sort of understood where Finn was coming from, but when Jan was with her, she didn’t see that hard time.

No, she saw fun and laughter. She saw flirting and the batting of Jan’s eyelashes.

What she saw when she looked at Jan Bartlett…

was a woman who wanted to live her life and the excitement that came with it.

“I know what’s going on with her ex-husband, I’ve always known, but that doesn’t mean Jan doesn’t know what’s best for her. ”

Finn pulled herself up onto a stool. “How did this happen, Morgan?”

No. Morgan wasn’t doing this. She wouldn’t sit here and discuss her relationship with Jan unless Jan was also present.

But she would remind Finn of the support she’d given her back when she fell in love with Gillian.

“You know when you met Gillian and eventually told me how it came about?” Finn nodded.

“Did I once judge you for fucking your lecturer? Did I once tell you that it was a mistake and that you should cut her off?”

“No.”

“Imagine if I had. How would you have reacted to that?” Morgan watched on as that sunk into Finn’s mind.

Was she finally realising that she couldn’t control what two people did?

God, Morgan hoped so. “Imagine if I’d told you that it would only end in disaster or that it was wrong…

or that Gillian had no idea what she wanted. ”

Finn sighed. “Morgan.”

Morgan turned her back on Finn. She needed a moment to gather her thoughts and her emotions.

She hadn’t expected this at all, and as she stood here right now, she had to wonder what Gillian would fill Jan’s head with.

It wouldn’t be anything good; Morgan knew Gillian didn’t like her.

She just…didn’t know why. “I’m honestly not interested, Finn.

Whatever you think of us, please keep it to yourself.

I don’t have time to give a shit what people think of me, and yes, that includes you . ”

“You’re both going to get hurt.”

“Are we? Can you see into the future?” Morgan rounded the counter again and took a seat on a stool next to Finn.

“I know it’s a shock, and I know Gillian is probably thinking about all the ways she can keep me away from Jan, but I’m not going anywhere.

For however long Jan wants me in her life, I’m going to be there for her.

You and Gillian cannot and will not stop that. ”

“When did it happen?” Finn asked. “When did you sleep with one another?”

Morgan lifted a shoulder. “Can’t remember, and I’ve lost count since.”

“Y-you’ve been seeing one another?” Finn’s face paled. “For how long?”

“When did she leave that wanker of an ex-husband?” Morgan’s brows drew together. “Six weeks ago? Seven?”

“It’s coming up to eight, actually.”

Morgan smiled. “Seven weeks then.”

Finn sighed and lowered her head on her shoulders. “I can’t believe you’ve kept this from me. I mean, Jan is straight , Morgan. And once the divorce proceedings start, her head will be up her arse.”

“And when that happens, I’ll be there for her. The way I have been so far.”

“But you’re not hearing what I’m saying. Jan is straight!”

Morgan smirked. Jan was far from straight.

At least, when she was beneath Morgan, she wasn’t straight.

Or when she’d spent an hour watching Morgan down at the water’s edge on the beach.

Or when she’d tugged on the string holding Morgan’s bikini bottoms in place and gone down on her just hours after they’d landed in Gran Canaria.

No, Jan wasn’t straight. “I can assure you, she’s not. ”

“I can’t deal with this.” Finn exhaled a breath. “And I can’t even begin to understand how it happened in the first place.”

“Why do you have to deal with it? And why do you have to understand it? I’m happy with Jan, and she’s happy with me. Can’t you and Gillian just be happy for us?”

Finn slid from her stool and made her way towards the exit. As she turned back and eyed Morgan, Finn shook her head. “Someone is going to get hurt here. I fear it’s going to be you.”

Maybe Morgan would get hurt, but for the first time in so many years, she felt as though she was in a place where she could be happy.

And sure, maybe it would fall apart, and Jan would realise that Morgan wasn’t good enough for her, but Morgan had to try.

She needed to enjoy what she currently had because if it did end, she knew she’d never find anyone quite like Jan ever again.

“Hey, Finn?”

Finn turned as she pulled the bar door open.

“You and your wife should probably find somewhere else to drink from now on.” Morgan hated to do this to someone she considered a friend, but she wouldn’t entertain anyone in her bar who thought it was okay to throw their opinions on her life around.

“And if Gillian has a problem with that, she knows where to find me.”