Page 26 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

Jan stood out on the terrace of the ground-floor apartment Morgan had surprised her with, the sun setting in the distance.

They’d landed some five hours ago—Meloneras was a beautiful area from what Jan had seen so far—and now Morgan was taking them out to dinner.

They’d decided on a quiet, slower evening, reserving the fun and excitement for the rest of the week.

Morgan had sat yawning repeatedly as they’d lounged around at the pool bar a couple of hours ago, so something simple and relaxed was the focus for the rest of the night.

As she continued to watch the fading daylight over the ocean, Jan felt saddened by the thought of Morgan usually being out here alone.

She spent enough time stuck at the bar or up in her flat.

Gran Canaria—or Meloneras, to be specific—seemed like a place couples would holiday, and if Jan had things her way, this wouldn’t be the last time they visited the island together.

For Jan, this was, without a doubt, the start of something truly special for her.

Forget what was going on back at home. Forget the fact that she hadn’t told Gillian and Finn about Morgan yet.

The only thing she cared about for the next seven days was being here, sitting in the peacefulness of a Spanish island, with Morgan by her side.

Jan had spent the mid-haul flight out here taking stock of everything that had happened since she’d walked into her office the day Gareth came by.

Her marriage was over—there were no two ways about that—but her life wasn’t.

She had meant it when she told Gillian she had the world at her feet, and Jan was going to make every last second of it count.

If that meant cutting everyone off until they came to terms with her decisions moving forward, then so be it.

If it meant hearing the opinions of not only those she cared about but those she didn’t, so be it.

In this moment, Jan was happy and fulfilled.

She was content with whatever direction her life took, so long as Morgan was firmly planted in it.

Yes, it may have only been five weeks since she’d left Phil, and yes, being with Morgan so quickly after the end of her marriage was quite startling, but Jan struggled to care.

How could she step back from what was happening here?

How could she even consider a world without the happiness Morgan had given her so far?

The answer was simple: she couldn’t.

From a very young age, Jan had always known what she wanted.

Love, a stable home, and to feel accomplished every night when she climbed into bed.

While she didn’t have the stable home right now, that would return in one form or another.

As for love… Well, she felt that in some capacity from Morgan, regardless of the fact they weren’t exclusive.

And lately, she did feel accomplished. Whether that was as she climbed into a still unfamiliar hotel bed or Morgan’s was beside the point.

She felt it, and that was what mattered.

She heard Morgan approaching from behind. Before Jan had time to turn around, Morgan wrapped her arms around Jan’s waist, kissed her neck, and then rested her chin on her shoulder. “You look stunning.”

“Thank you.” Jan had only gone for a pair of white linen pants and a white tank top this evening. The humidity was still in the air, and if they were walking for a while, she wanted to be comfortable. “How was your shower?”

“Amazing. It’s woken me up a bit.” Morgan sighed as she looked out at the ocean with Jan. “Gorgeous here, isn’t it?”

“It is. It makes me wonder why Gillian said that Gran Canaria wasn’t really my kind of place.” Jan frowned at the reminder of that comment. If this wasn’t Jan’s kind of place, then she had no idea what was. “Remind me to ask her about that.”

“I know why she said it.” Morgan lifted her phone in front of them, brought her lips to Jan’s cheek again, and snapped a selfie of them.

“It can be a bit of a party island depending on where you stay, and just down the road from us is a huge outdoor space that’s considered to mostly cater towards the LGBTQ+ community. ”

“O-oh.” Jan’s brows lifted.

“But once you tell her the area you’re actually staying in, I’m sure she’ll realise that this is the perfect place for you to unwind.”

It suddenly dawned on Jan that people could put two and two together. “Out of interest, where did you tell your friends and family you were going for the week?”

Morgan tensed at that. “Friends away from the bar know I’m here. Ben and Tyler also know, but they’re not stupid and realise that we’re keeping this under wraps. If Finn asks, I’m elsewhere in the country.”

“And your family?” Jan asked, sensing there was something to be discussed when it came to Morgan’s blood relatives.

“They don’t get to know anything about me or my life. They lost that right when they cut me off at nineteen.”

Another realisation dawned on Jan. She had no idea how old Morgan was. “And that was…how many years ago now?”

“I’m thirty-two, if that’s what you’re asking.” Morgan unravelled herself from Jan and stood beside her instead. “If that’s an issue for you, please tell me that when we get home. Not while we’re out here watching the sunset with one another.”

Jan took Morgan’s hand and entwined their fingers. “It’s not an issue for me. Not in the slightest.”

Morgan regarded Jan with a small smile as she glanced in her direction. “That’s what they all say.”

“Well, I’m not all . I’m me . And I have no issue with any of this.” Jan tugged Morgan to her and turned, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I would like to know more about you, though. Your family and how that came about.”

“I’m an open book.” Morgan lifted a hand and cupped Jan’s cheek. “Anything you want to know, that’s fine by me.”

“I know that this is a little bit up in the air at the moment, and you’ve practically whisked me away on a whim, but…

I am serious about this with you, Morgan.

I don’t pretend to know the answers to everything that’s going to come, but standing out here tonight has reminded me that even though I’m going to lose a lot, I’m also going to gain something incredibly special to me.

You . What we have. This . It’s so beautiful, and making new memories with someone else is what I’m aiming for when the mess back at home has been cleaned up. That someone is you, okay?”

Morgan dipped her head and sniffled. “I’m sorry if I ever feel as though I’m pulling away. That’s not intentional. Not…most of the time. I just,” Morgan said, sighing as she paused for a moment. “I’m used to not getting the happy ending.”

“Hey,” Jan whispered as she lifted Morgan’s head and held her chin in her hand. “I get it. I really do. Do you think I expected any of this to happen? To end up here with you, feeling immensely happy when technically , I should be miserable?”

“No. This has to be just as crazy for you to come to terms with.”

“Then let’s just enjoy ourselves and live life.”

Morgan drew Jan into a slow, soft kiss. When they broke apart, a smile spread on Morgan’s lips. “Believe me, all I’ve been doing since you walked into my bar that night is live my life.”

That was all Jan could ask for. To know that Morgan was also finding a new normal, it was all she needed to be happy in life. “Good. Now, I’m starving, so should we head off and have dinner before we come back here and relax for the rest of the night?”

Morgan nodded as she leaned in and pressed a kiss on the tip of Jan’s nose. “Sounds like the perfect date with the perfect woman.”

* * *

Morgan sat across from Jan, the table they’d reserved offering them the most beautiful view of the lit walkway along the beachfront of Meloneras.

Jan hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d landed earlier today, and every time Morgan glanced in her direction, the hairs on her arms stood on end.

It was a feeling Morgan was new to, more so because it was so intense.

Jan, quite simply, was all she’d ever dreamed of.

Every last bad mistake and dead end would have been worth it if it had led to this.

Tonight, Morgan couldn’t take her eyes off Jan.

She sat back in her seat and sipped from her glass of red wine. “How’s the food?”

“Delicious.” Jan eyed Morgan over the rim of her own glass, wearing a shy smile. “Yours?”

“I brought you here because I know how amazing the menu is.”

Jan slid a hand across the table and settled it over Morgan’s. She was no stranger to holding another woman’s hand—Morgan had been a lesbian since forever—but when Jan did it, it ignited a multitude of feelings from deep within her. “Thank you for the perfect first day. It’s been lovely.”

“You’re okay with heading back and just relaxing? If you wanted to see some of the island, I’m happy to show you.”

Jan stifled a yawn as she shook her head. “Relaxing for the rest of the night sounds perfect. I don’t have much left in my tank, to be honest with you.”

Thank God for that. Considering Morgan was significantly younger than Jan, she was really flagging now. All she wanted was to sit out on the terrace and talk about anything that sprung to mind. Walking, partying, and drinking just were not on her agenda tonight.

“Did you want to head out somewhere? I’m the one who has gate crashed this holiday. I’d hate to think you were changing how you usually do things because I’m here.”

“Believe me, I want to relax at the apartment tonight.” Morgan turned her hand over and smiled. “This is nice. Sitting here, hand in hand.”

Jan sighed. “This just reminds me of what I can look forward to once we’re home. Because if I’m learning anything being out here with you on day one, it’s that I don’t want to go back to hiding once we get home.”

“You’re not hiding, babe. You’re just…finding yourself. Nobody, friends included, can begrudge you that.”

Jan snorted. “Oh, I beg to differ. You really think Gill won’t have a meltdown once she finds out about this?”

“I mean, I know she’s your best friend, and I’m really close to Finn, but what right do they have to an opinion on how you choose to handle things? You’re a grown woman, Jan. If you’re not ready to face the world with me, that’s your decision and your decision alone.”

Jan softened as she squeezed Morgan’s hand. “I appreciate your support more than you know.”

“So long as you’re okay, I don’t care about the rest. If I have to spend the next several months sneaking you into my flat, then I’ll do that.

Don’t ever feel pressured to do what you think is the right thing.

We’re good, babe. Really good.” Morgan lifted a hand and smiled at the waiter when she signalled for the bill. “You still don’t want a dessert?”

Jan placed a hand on her stomach and puffed out her cheeks. “No way. You’ll have to carry me back if I dare to put another thing in my mouth.”

“Okay.” Morgan grinned, then lifted her glass and finished her wine.

“Hey, out of interest. How do you think Gillian and Finn will react?” Morgan wasn’t bothered about what they thought of her; she had what she needed sitting right across from her, but the idea of them being less than impressed with Jan did weigh on her mind at times. “You think they’ll be happy for you?”

“I think Gillian will be confused, and I think she’ll sit there shocked for several minutes. But then it’ll wear off, and she’ll be happy knowing that I’m happy. That’s all we’ve ever wanted for one another.”

“And Finn?”

“I know Finn a lot less than I know Gillian, but Finn is a sweetheart, and I know she’ll be equally as happy as Gillian. Don’t forget that you’re a close friend of hers. Why would she possibly be anything other than happy?”

“Finn can be…surprising when she wants to be. I don’t see any issues arising, though.

Finn is too busy hanging on Gillian’s every word to care what I’m doing with my life.

” Morgan lifted a shoulder. “But seeing her so happy really does make me happy. She used to sit alone in my bar, nursing pint after pint, dreading going home to the same old routine.”

“I’m glad she’s out of that routine. I know she would do anything for her mum, but she deserves to have a life, too.”

Morgan nodded and thanked the waiter as he set their bill down in the middle of the table.

She took a wad of euro notes from her back pocket and left the cost of the bill, plus a tip, on the small silver tray.

“I think everything is going to be fine. I mean, it’s Gillian and Finn. We know them. We’re friends with them.”

Morgan had nobody to answer to these days, and if either of them thought she would answer to them, they had another thing coming. Morgan focused on herself and the woman in her life. Everything else was simply background noise as far as she was concerned.

“How did you and Gillian meet?”

“University. I was studying business, and she was studying architecture. We were eighteen, with no idea what the world had to offer.” Jan smiled. “Within a few weeks of our first year beginning, we just gravitated towards one another. We were inseparable, and we have been ever since.”

Morgan lifted a questioning brow. “So…she knows you had a filthy lesbian fling during university?”

Jan cast her gaze on her lap. “No. That’s not something I’ve ever divulged.”

“Because?”

“At the time, I was worried about everyone’s reaction. Antonia also didn’t seem overly comfortable being out either. I’d arrange to see her whenever I knew Gillian had plans elsewhere.”

Morgan guessed that made sense. Jan and Gillian had been at university a long time ago now. Life and society were entirely different some thirty years on. Though, at times, Morgan had to wonder if much had changed at all.

“That’s not why I’m holding back this time, though.” Ah. Jan had taken Morgan’s silence to mean something else. “I’m so ready, Morgan. I just…feel so much more when I’m with you.”

“Yeah?” Morgan stroked her fingers against the back of Jan’s hand. “You think I’m worth coming out for?”

“One hundred percent. Without a doubt.”

“Then that’s all I need to know.” Morgan rose to her feet and guided Jan up with her. “Should we stroll back?”

“Yes.” Jan touched a hand to Morgan’s chest and leaned in to kiss her. “Thank you for dinner. It was exceptional.”

“Thank you for being my date. It’s been a pleasure.”