Page 33 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

Morgan palmed Jan’s thigh as she said, “I’m already planning the next one in my head right now.”

* * *

Feeling torn for the first time in as long as she could remember, Morgan shoved their suitcases into the boot of Jan’s car and lingered for a moment.

More than anything, she wanted to take Jan back to her flat with her, but Morgan knew it would be wise to give Jan space.

Because now that they’d landed, everything became very real all over again.

Hasn’t a week of uninterrupted time with her been enough for you?

As Morgan stood behind Jan’s car, she knew it would never be enough.

While Morgan knew she could be open and honest with Jan, she wasn’t sure bringing it up again was a good idea.

Jan knew where Morgan stood, and Morgan believed she knew where Jan stood, but in this moment, Morgan wanted more, and she wanted it right now.

Not down the line, just…now. She would be miserable the moment they parted ways, and that misery wouldn’t lift until Jan was back in her arms again.

That was an unusual feeling for Morgan, if she was being entirely honest. She was so used to being dropped or only having contact with women in the past when they wanted something from her that she rarely allowed herself to get emotionally involved.

Amanda had been the most recent proof of exactly that.

Get out of your head and just enjoy what you can have.

Morgan cleared her throat and closed the boot.

At least they had the hour-long journey home from the airport to spend together.

That was better than nothing. As she climbed into the passenger seat and eyed Jan, Morgan could only smile and allow whatever she was feeling.

Jan hummed along to the radio and tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, her tanned skin so soft and silky smooth.

“All done. Let’s hit the road.” Morgan clicked her seatbelt into place and sighed. “I hate coming home from a holiday. Don’t you?”

“It’s not something I’ve ever really had to worry about. As you know, holidays were few and far between for me.” Jan reversed out of her parking space and began the ten-floor descent. “But I’m not enjoying coming home from this holiday, no.”

Every time Jan spoke about her marriage and the lack of everything she deserved, Morgan found it hard to comprehend.

Fuck, she would have given Jan anything she desired while they’d been on holiday together.

As far as she was concerned, Phil deserved to lose this woman.

He deserved to figure out a life without her.

He sure as hell wouldn’t find better down the line.

“Wanker.” Morgan muttered under her breath, but she felt Jan’s gaze drift towards her. “Sorry.”

Jan simply lifted a shoulder and concentrated on the road. “Maybe if he’d found the time or put in more of an effort, we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now.”

Did that mean Jan wished she wasn’t here in this car with Morgan?

Was that a hint of hesitancy for what was coming?

“I know you’ve seemed pretty adamant about what happens next, but are you one hundred percent going through with the divorce?

” Morgan hoped it wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction.

She couldn’t imagine seeing Jan and Phil together in the future. “No more counselling?”

“No. I’m done with him.” Jan said that so calmly that Morgan was impressed by her cool, calm demeanour.

If that had been Morgan, she wouldn’t have known what to do for the best. Twenty-seven years was a long time to spend with someone.

The idea of just stepping away from a relationship spanning almost three decades filled her with dread.

“I feel like I don’t know him anymore. I can’t look at him unless I absolutely have to.

And then when he texts me begging me to work things out with him, it only makes me loathe him more. ”

“Some time apart wouldn’t work for you?” Morgan didn’t know why she was trying to push Jan towards her husband—it would mean the end of whatever was happening here—but she was of the opinion that if something was meant for her…it would be.

“I’ve spent enough time apart from him over the years because of work.

This doesn’t feel much different, to be honest.” Jan eyed Morgan briefly.

“Looking back, I gave him a lot of leeway because of the business, but now that you and I have been spending time with one another, I’m beginning to realise I want so much more. ”

“More what?”

“Fun. Excitement. Unexpected trips away. Days when I lounge around. The opportunity to sit and enjoy reading a book. Just…more.”

Morgan reached a hand across the console and settled it on Jan’s knee. “I get that.”

“More of this , Morgan.” Jan lay her hand over Morgan’s and smiled.

“There have been so many times when I’ve been over at Gillian’s, just watching the love they have for one another.

At one time, I found myself craving the very same thing.

But then I put it to the back of my mind because Phil has never changed.

He’s the very same man I fell in love with and married.

He’s always been less touchy and less romantic than my friend’s partners.

So, how could I miss something I’d never had with him? ”

Oh, that was painful to hear. Morgan cleared her throat. “I think everyone deserves those things.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

Morgan watched Jan as she drove through the dark streets and towards the motorway.

There was just something about this woman that mesmerised Morgan on more than one occasion daily.

She had an air about her that Morgan hadn’t come across before.

While Amanda had been very particular about everything in her life, often found in front of a mirror while she checked herself out, Jan was the total opposite.

She still maintained that Jan was elegant and one hell of a woman, but she knew how to find the laughter in life, too.

That was a huge plus in Morgan’s eyes. If she could laugh and enjoy herself with another woman, she was winning.

Without a doubt. “I’ve really had the perfect week with you, Jan. ”

“Perfect doesn’t come close.” Jan entwined their fingers as they took the ramp onto the motorway.

It was quiet, almost secretive, to be driving along this stretch of road while they held hands, but Morgan wouldn’t change anything.

Being with Jan was all she could have dreamed of.

“And now I have to go back to a hotel room with my life strewn across the place.”

Morgan decided she would offer, even if she knew Jan likely wouldn’t take her up on it. “You’re welcome to come back to my place with me.”

“I know, but I should spend the rest of the evening figuring some things out. I have to deal with my divorce sooner or later. No need to draw something out that cannot be salvaged.”

“I know. I still had to offer.”

“Believe me, if I didn’t have things to take care of, I wouldn’t dream of going back to the hotel. But I need to find a place to live, and I’d like to do that soon. I can’t hold Gillian and Finn off much longer. They’ll force me into their spare room eventually.”

Morgan grinned when she noted that twinkle in Jan’s eye. “They’re good people. They care about you. We all do.”

“And I appreciate that more than any of you know.”

Morgan sat up in her seat and peered at the speedometer. “Hey, slow down a bit.”

“I’m well within the speed limit.”

“I know that, but the faster you drive, the less time I have with you before I have to let you go.” Morgan relaxed into the leather seat when Jan decelerated. “Perfect. All of you is absolutely perfect.”