Page 31 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

You should have booked a two-week holiday!

Morgan sighed as she brushed the sand from her feet and lifted her legs onto her sun lounger.

Jan was reading beside her, the sun was blazing down on them, but Morgan’s heart was heavy.

Tomorrow, they would fly back to England.

Tomorrow, everything Morgan could have ever dreamed of would end.

She hadn’t known just how important this holiday could be for them, but the mere thought of pretending Jan was nothing more than a customer at her bar ached deep in her chest.

What had she expected from this trip? Well, she’d expected fun and laughter, dancing and sangria, but what she was coming away with was so much more than that.

For the first time in several years, Morgan had opened up and been her true self with another woman.

Jan just brought it out of her without warning.

She knew about Morgan’s past, about her non-existent relationship with her parents, and it felt as though they were in an entirely different place with one another as this week drew to a close.

Morgan eyed Jan and her perfect, slender body.

Was this really happening? Did Morgan actually have a future she could look forward to?

It certainly felt that way. Jan was so at ease around her that it was hard to come to any other conclusion.

Life was good, Jan was a breath of fresh air, and Morgan couldn’t wait until they could be together back at home.

She couldn’t wait for the day when Jan would walk into the bar, step up, and kiss Morgan without any concern at all.

The nights when they would stroll around town, hand in hand.

Morgan wanted it all. She wanted everything Jan could offer. She wanted…to love this woman.

Jan closed her book and swung her legs over the side of her lounger. Morgan quickly focused on the ocean ahead of them, but she suspected she’d already been caught watching Jan. “Everything okay?”

“I…yes.” Morgan cleared her throat and the unexpected emotion that had lodged itself there. “Do you need more lotion on?”

“No. I think I’m going to move into the shade for a while. It’s hotter than I thought it would be today.”

Yeah, it was hot. Ridiculously hot with this woman around. “I thought maybe we could give it another hour and then head for one of the restaurants behind us. Maybe have some lunch?”

“You heard my stomach growling, didn’t you?”

Morgan hadn’t, the crash of the waves drowned out every last noise around them, but she’d wished she’d heard it. It would only be another thing to add to the list of Jan’s cuteness. “Yeah. Thought a tidal wave was heading for us until I realised it was you.”

Jan swatted Morgan’s hip as she laughed and got to her feet. “Stop it.”

“I’m joking. If you’re hungry now, though, we could head for lunch earlier. I don’t mind.”

Jan dragged her lounger under the parasol and fixed her towel. “I’m okay for a while longer.”

Morgan narrowed her eyes behind her sunglasses, quickly climbing from her own lounger and situating herself on Jan’s. She lowered her legs on either side and straddled it, then patted the space in between. “Sit. I’ll share the shade with you.”

Jan cocked her head and grinned, sending Morgan’s pulse through the roof.

She knew Jan wasn’t used to little moments like this, but Morgan was going to continue doing the things that encouraged a smile from her.

She got herself comfortable between Morgan’s legs and rested back against her.

“This is nice.” Jan lay her head back against Morgan’s shoulder and sighed.

“I can’t believe we’ll be on a flight home this time tomorrow. ”

“I’m trying not to think about it.” Morgan wrapped her arms around Jan’s waist and rested her chin on her shoulder. “If I knew I could, I’d extend the holiday.”

“I’m good for at least another month here, but I know you have to get back for the bar.” Jan angled her head and smiled when Morgan laid a gentle kiss on her lips. “Right now, I’m grateful for the memories out here with you.”

“There will be more. Whether it’s at home or elsewhere, we will definitely make more memories.

” Morgan smiled against Jan’s lips and tightened her arms around her waist. “You’re so beautiful, and being out here with you has just…

I don’t know.” Morgan paused briefly. “Made me appreciate you even more, I guess.”

Jan regarded Morgan with a gorgeous smile. “I don’t know what I would have done without you recently. You’ve made life so much easier for me, and all I want is to know you more.”

Morgan felt the same way. One hundred percent. “Do you have any family back home that are going to take this badly?” Jan hadn’t spoken about her family, but Morgan kind of understood. Given the shitshow of her own family, it didn’t seem out of the ordinary to her. “Siblings? Parents?”

“Dad left when we were younger. Mum passed away a couple of years ago. I do have a sister, but she lives in New Zealand. She’s been over there now for…

God, it must be coming up to twenty-three years.

She met her husband there while she was travelling, and now, they have three kids. Two girls and a boy.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Do you get the chance to see her much?”

“We video call when we can. The girls, Betsy and Katie, are in college. Noah, I believe, is about to start travelling himself. He knows if he finds himself in England, he has a place to stay with me.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but the kids probably see you as the cool auntie.”

Jan lifted a shoulder. “I’d like to think so, but I haven’t seen them in the flesh since they were much younger. I miss them all, but it’s a long way to travel for a catch-up, you know?”

“You and Phil never thought about taking a break and heading out there?”

Jan snorted. “He couldn’t even manage Europe, never mind New Zealand.”

“No, I know.” Morgan sighed. “Maybe you could plan a visit now that you’re no longer tied to him and the business. If nothing else, it may be a nice break for you. It’ll give you the chance to recharge and make some decisions on where you see your future going.”

“Maybe, I don’t know. Catherine has her own business over there, so she’s generally as busy as me.

Well, when I was working, anyway.” Jan looked out at the ocean and cleared her throat.

“And going to New Zealand would mean not seeing you for several weeks. I’m not sure I like that idea right now.

Not while I’m here, in your arms, thoroughly enjoying myself. ”

Morgan shouldn’t allow it, but those words settled in her heart, ultimately sending a shiver up her spine.

Jan didn’t want to leave the country because she would miss her?

Well, Morgan was surely doing something right.

She lowered her head and kissed Jan’s neck.

“As much as I love and hate the idea of you missing me, it’s something you should still consider. ”

“I’m quite content right now.” Jan palmed Morgan’s thighs and sighed. “This is where I want to be. Wherever you are.”

* * *

Relaxing after a long but beautiful day in the sun, Jan rested back on the super king-sized bed she’d shared with Morgan for the last week and clasped her hands behind her head.

Morgan was packing away whatever she wouldn’t need for the last night here on the island, but Jan preferred to run around at the last minute.

She wouldn’t usually do that, but the moment she opened her suitcase, she knew she would be sad all over again.

She’d already spent the morning feeling that way; there wasn’t a chance she was allowing her mood to affect this evening, too.

Morgan appeared in the doorway with her phone in her hand. “Finn has texted me.”

“Oh?” Jan sat up on her elbows and eyed Morgan across the room. “Is she okay?”

“She…wants to know why I decided to visit friends in England instead of going on my usual holiday abroad.”

“It’s a fair question, I suppose. If I had to choose between England or Meloneras, I know where I’d rather be.”

Morgan stepped into the room and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know why I feel paranoid about her message, but I do. As though she’s trying to catch me out, and she already knows about us, you know?”

“Trust me, if she knew about us, she wouldn’t be texting you. She’d be calling me…or Gill would be, demanding answers.” Jan took Morgan’s phone from her hand and set it down on the bed. “Come and rest with me for a minute. Get out of your head and just enjoy our last night here together.”

Morgan crawled towards Jan and smiled into a kiss. “You have a gorgeous tan. Everyone is going to be jealous when you get back.”

“Mm. What we didn’t think about was how you’re going to explain your tan.” Jan drew back and frowned. “No, really. How are you going to explain it? Gillian said it’s been raining continuously.”

Morgan lifted a shoulder. “Honestly, I don’t really care.”

Jan understood that, but it just made everything feel deceptive all over again.

She hadn’t had time to think anything through before she left England; she’d been too high on the idea of having Morgan to herself.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something if you happen to bump into Finn.

You and I both know it’s the first thing she’ll pick up on. ”

“I know. Once again…she’s like a bloodhound.”

Jan fell back onto the mattress, gripping Morgan’s tank top as she did so.

Morgan landed on top of her with an ‘oomph’, and then those gentle fingertips found the side of Jan’s neck, soothing her skin.

“Maybe I should just send Gill a message and reveal all of this. If nothing else, I won’t be there for her to give me a grilling. ”

“She means more to you than that.” Morgan brushed Jan’s hair from her face and smiled. “If you want to do it together, just say the word, and I’ll be right there with you.”

That wasn’t the worst idea in the world, but Jan would prefer to sit down with Gillian alone and ease it into the conversation.

Mostly because she had no idea how Gillian would respond but also because there would probably be a lot of questions and confusion.

“I appreciate you for offering, but I’ll be just fine doing it alone.

” Jan craned her neck and kissed the tip of Morgan’s nose.

“And once it’s all out in the open, we’ll all get together and have a great night out. Dinner will be on me.”

Morgan sighed as she propped her head in her hand. “You think it’ll be that easy?”

“Of course. Gillian isn’t really in a position to question my sexuality when she’s now married to a woman herself.”

“Fair point.”

As Jan considered how long they had to get ready—perhaps a roll in the sheets beforehand—her phone started to ring on the side table next to the bed.

She reached for it, lifting her brows when Gillian’s name was displayed on the screen.

“Speak of the devil.” She pressed a finger to Morgan’s lips and answered the call. “Hi, Gill. Everything okay?”

“Of course. I was just wondering if you’d heard anything from the estate agent yet?”

Jan smiled when Morgan shifted off her but rested her head against Jan’s chest. Her hand found Morgan’s luscious hair, everything within Jan settling as she stroked her fingers through her locks. “I called them this morning. They believe we’re looking at offers over eight hundred thousand.”

“Nice. You should be able to find yourself something really lovely when you start looking. Just…make sure it still has a decent-sized garden. You know I love your garden parties, and there’s no way I’m giving them up because Phil is a disgusting prick!”

“Noted. I’ll be sure to invite you along to any viewings. You’d have the final say, of course.” Jan laughed. “I’m flying home tomorrow, so once I’m settled in again, I’ll call you and come over for coffee.”

“Lovely. I can’t wait to hear all about your trip. Have a safe flight home.”

“Love to Finn. Bye, Gill.” Jan ended the call and lowered her phone to the bed.

The silence of the apartment enveloped her, Morgan too, and in this moment, Jan just wanted to shout from the rooftops that she was happy and thrilled with the direction her life would soon be taking.

“Remind me what time our dinner reservation is again?”

“Seven,” Morgan said quietly as she draped an arm across Jan’s stomach. “The last supper.”

“The last of this holiday, yes. But just one of many everywhere else.” Jan shifted further down the bed and wrapped Morgan up in her arms. The sun and the heat had really taken it out of them today, so a nap was required before she took Morgan for dinner at a place that had exceptional reviews…

along with incredible views of the island.

“In case I forget to tell you, you’ve made me the happiest woman in the world these last couple of months. ”

Morgan didn’t say anything. Instead, she held onto Jan far tighter than she ever had before, nuzzled into her, and sighed.

It’s time to live for yourself, not everyone else.