Page 39 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

With a huge smile on her face, Morgan’s heart beat a little harder when Jan walked through the bar door.

After Finn’s arrival here yesterday, she didn’t think she would see Jan any time soon.

But it was the text Jan had sent Morgan last night explaining that she wouldn’t be heading over to the bar that really had Morgan worried.

She one hundred percent expected Jan to cut all ties with her.

Morgan’s smile suddenly faded when she realised that could still happen.

Jan looked worn out. She didn’t look like the same woman she’d spent several weeks with now.

She seemed bothered by something. Morgan just hoped they could remain amicable if Jan was here to let her down gently.

It tracked in terms of who Jan was as a person.

Morgan didn’t believe she had it in her to text and say she wouldn’t be around anymore.

“Hi.” Morgan swallowed when Jan pulled herself up onto a stool. Thankfully, the bar was quiet right now. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No, thank you.” Jan tried to stifle a yawn but failed. “I didn’t sleep at all last night, so I’ve already had three coffees back at the hotel.”

“I thought their coffee was terrible?”

“It is. But it was better than nothing at all.” Jan set her bag down on the bar counter and finally looked up at Morgan. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it over last night. Once I’d been to Gillian’s, I just needed some time alone.”

Morgan nodded and waited with bated breath.

“It didn’t quite go as planned.” Jan’s voice trembled as she put that out into the world. “Her reaction was…unexpected. It knocked me off kilter.”

“What was her reaction?”

Jan sighed and propped her head in her hand. “I don’t really know how to describe it. She sort of implied that I’d wasted no time in moving on. It’s just…the way she said it that I didn’t like. As though maybe she was judging me and slut shaming me.”

“I’m sorry,” Morgan said as she rounded the bar and placed a supportive hand on Jan’s shoulder. She wanted to do so much more than that, but she wasn’t sure she was entitled to do so. “I, uh…I know what happens now.”

“Pardon?”

“I know what happens now,” Morgan repeated.

“And you really don’t have to do this, Jan.

I got involved with you knowing you were dealing with a lot.

I probably shouldn’t have encouraged you.

” Morgan ran a hand down her face, saddened that this was ending.

Because for her, it hadn’t been some meaningless fuck.

It hadn’t been passing the time with Jan to keep her company.

It had been so much more. “But I need you to know that I don’t regret any of it.

What we’ve had over the last couple of months, I can’t explain it.

You’ve reminded me that I can be happy again.

That means a lot to me. You …mean a lot to me. ”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“You’ve come here to tell me you can’t do this anymore, right?”

Jan lifted a hand and cupped Morgan’s cheek. Her blue eyes were brighter than they had been when she arrived. “I haven’t come here to do that to you.”

Morgan frowned. “You haven’t?”

“No. Never.”

“It’s just that Finn?—”

Jan suddenly lowered her hand. “Finn, what?”

“She came here yesterday afternoon. I’m guessing it was after you’d been to speak to Gillian.

” Morgan reached behind her for the nearby stool and dragged it closer.

Once she was sitting comfortably, her hand in Jan’s, she continued, “She said I should end things with you. There was a brief mention of taking advantage of you, too.”

Jan cast her gaze on their hands and shook her head. “God, I’m sorry she said those things to you.”

“I don’t care what she thinks of me, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but are you sure that I’m the one you want to possibly do this with?

I mean, I know we’ve spoken about it on a couple of occasions now, but I don’t really know what’s happening here.

I’m scared to ask because of what you’re going through and how sudden this is. ”

“What is it that you want to ask specifically?”

Morgan searched Jan’s eyes. Could she really ask the question she wanted to ask? She had nothing to lose, she guessed. “Just like…are we dating? Or could we be instead of whatever this currently is?”

The smile that spread on Jan’s mouth didn’t quite settle Morgan’s heart rate. She would need a little more to go on before that happened. “I don’t see why we couldn’t say we’re dating.”

“But is that what you want, Jan?” Morgan squeezed Jan’s hand and dipped her head to find her gaze. “Seriously, is it what you want?”

“Yes. It is.”

“Even with everything you’re dealing with? Even though you’re barely out of a marriage? I’m happy to wait until the time is right for you or until you decide that this isn’t the right thing for you. I just…I need you to tell me how this is going to work.”

“We’re dating. If people can’t deal with that, then it’s their own tough shit.”

“And by people, you mean your best friend and her wife?” Morgan wasn’t sure this was going to go to plan if Jan didn’t have Gillian and Finn’s support. Jan was so close to her best friend that this was surely going to create a huge rift between them.

“Them and anyone else who has something to say about it.” Jan slid from her stool and stood between Morgan’s legs.

She drew Morgan into a soft kiss, smiling against her lips before she pulled back a little.

“I understand that people are confused and concerned, but why should I put my life on hold just to appease them? Why should I do exactly what Gill did and lock myself away…refusing to deal with the world? That just doesn’t make sense to me. ”

“Nor me.” Morgan smiled. “I just don’t want you to lose the people who mean the most to you.”

“I won’t. They’ll realise that I have the chance to be happy again, and everything will be okay.”

Morgan lifted her brows and exhaled a deep breath. “I hope you’re right.”

“In time, you’ll realise that I’m always right.” Jan winked and rounded the bar. “Now, I quite fancy an espresso. May I help myself?”

Morgan laughed. “You may.”

* * *

Settled into a booth at Morgan’s bar, Jan brought up several estate agent websites, prepared to trawl through the copious amounts of homes available to buy.

Now that she was refreshed from her holiday, it was time to look at what was available.

Jan wanted a place to live in, and today, that process began. She refused to put it off any longer.

She brought her cappuccino closer, smiling as she eyed Morgan behind the bar.

She wouldn’t stay here all day—Morgan was going to be sick of the sight of her soon—but she had wanted to be here while she looked for a place to live.

If she was torn between several, she could at least ask Morgan’s opinion.

That would have usually been Gillian’s job, but their friendship was strained at the moment.

I could strangle Finn!

Now wasn’t the time to recollect the information Morgan had given her about Finn coming here yesterday.

She could deal with that another time. And she would, without a doubt.

While she understood that her friends wanted to protect her, their concern should be directed towards Phil for ever putting her in this situation, not Morgan.

As she scrolled through the first website on her list, the dread started to settle in all over again.

Jan was almost forty-nine. She didn’t want to have to pack up her life and go through the hassle of redecorating and picking out new floors.

She shouldn’t have to do it. What she should have been doing right now was planning a dinner party or a garden party.

Exactly as she did every year. But she didn’t have a dining table or a garden she could use right now.

She didn’t even have a bed she could call her own.

“Hey,” Morgan said as she appeared at the booth.

“I brought you a bottle of water, and Ben has just been out to pick up lunch, so I asked him to get you something, too.” Morgan set down a plate with a chicken club sandwich sitting on it.

“You should eat something while you’re sitting here doing that. I know you’ll only forget otherwise.”

“Thank you.” Jan reached out and took Morgan’s hand. Did she already know Jan well enough to assume that she would forget to eat lunch? Huh, women were far more attentive. “I might need your help if I come across something I’m interested in. Only if the bar is quiet, though.”

“Mid-week is always quieter. Just give me a shout if you need some advice. Though, you probably shouldn’t take it from me. I live in a one-bed flat above a bar.”

Jan frowned. “Hey, I love your flat. It’s cosy, and it’s where we’ve spent many nights together. Your flat means a lot to me.”

Morgan dipped her head as her cheeks reddened. “I know. It’s still not really what I had in mind for myself.”

“Well, it suits you just fine at the moment.” As Jan was about to offer Morgan a seat, her phone started to ring on the table. It…was Phil. “Hello?”

“Hi. Um, are you around for a quick chat? About the divorce?”

Jan cleared her throat. “Yes, what’s up?”

“Can we do this face-to-face instead? I know you don’t want to see me, and I understand that, but I don’t want it to be this way, Jan.

I don’t want to lay out terms and shit over the phone to you or via a lawyer neither of us know the first thing about.

I’m close to the hotel you’re staying at, so I can be there in a few minutes. I’ll wait in the reception for you.”

“I’m not at the hotel. I’m at a bar around the corner.” Jan eyed Morgan and mouthed ‘Phil’.

“What’s the name of it? I’ll come right there now. I don’t want to keep you waiting any longer than you already have.”

“Give me a minute.” Jan brought her phone away from her ear and covered the mouthpiece. “Phil wants to meet with me about the divorce. Should I tell him I’ll meet him elsewhere?”