Page 25 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

“So,” Morgan spoke quietly as she grazed her nails through Jan’s hair. They’d been spread out on the couch for the last two hours, but Morgan was beside herself, knowing she would be alone with this woman for an entire week. “Did you happen to come across those bikinis we talked about?”

Jan grinned as she tilted her head back and eyed Morgan. “I wondered why you were so quiet. Have you been fantasising?”

“Would you hate me if I said yes?”

“Never.” Jan splayed a hand across Morgan’s chest and gazed back at her. Almost lovingly. “I’ve already been thinking about you in a bikini.”

Morgan’s chest expanded. Being with Jan was incredibly fulfilling. And every little thing she learned about Jan was only willing Morgan towards a future with her. “I think we’re going to have a great time out there with one another.”

“It’s all I’ve had on my mind lately.” Jan dipped her hand beneath Morgan’s shirt. “Do you have plans for out there already?”

“Not really. I usually take it day by day, depending on the weather. If it’s too hot, we can travel north where it’s a little cooler for the day. If it’s windy, then the pool is your best option in terms of sunbathing. Trust me, you don’t want to be on the beach when it’s windy.”

“I’m glad you know your way around the place. I won’t have to worry about a single thing. I’ll just take your lead.”

Morgan’s stomach rippled when Jan dragged her nails across her skin. “Mm. That feels nice.”

“All of you feels nice.” Jan dipped her head and pressed her lips to Morgan’s stomach. “And I’m dying to be alone with you in another country.”

“Why?” Morgan asked, brow furrowed.

“I don’t know. I just feel as though we can be ourselves out there.”

Morgan understood what Jan was saying. The number of times Morgan had wanted to stride across her bar and kiss Jan in front of everyone were too many to count.

When they met up for lunch, she wanted to take her hand and pull Jan that little bit closer as they walked around town.

One day, it would be possible, but right now wasn’t the time. “You’ll feel less on edge.”

“Exactly.”

“I wish you didn’t have to leave the country to feel safer.” Morgan kissed Jan’s forehead when their eyes met. “Being out isn’t something I’ve ever worried about.”

“One day, I won’t have to worry either.” Jan sat up and shifted into Morgan’s lap.

“And it’s not that I’m worried—we’ve already established that.

I just don’t want to bump into friends at the moment.

None of them would understand. And I certainly don’t want to come across anyone who could go to Gillian and tell her before I’ve had the chance to do it myself. ”

Yeah, that wouldn’t end well. Gillian would hit the roof if she didn’t hear this directly from Jan. “I don’t really want to be on the receiving end of Gillian’s wrath if that ever happened.”

“Me neither.” Jan laughed. “But you and I are the only thing I care about right now. I just want to be with you like this.” Jan wrapped an arm around Morgan’s shoulder and touched their foreheads. “This is where I enjoy being the most.”

“I hate it when you have to go back to that hotel room.” Morgan wanted to offer her space to Jan again, but she didn’t want to come across as pressuring her. “Maybe we need to discuss that while we’re away.”

“Discuss the hotel?” Jan drew back.

“Yeah. Figure out what’s next. You can’t stay there forever, babe.”

“I know. And I won’t. I’m just enjoying my own space at the minute.

Even if I was at home, it wouldn’t be the same.

It wouldn’t feel the same. I think that’s why I got what I needed and left, to be honest. Until I feel ready to think about what’s going to happen with the house, I don’t want to be there.

” Jan’s voice trembled ever so slightly.

“If I’d refused to leave, it would only be harder down the line when it came to selling up. ”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that. When you speak about your home, your eyes light up.

” Morgan couldn’t imagine packing up her life and leaving her flat.

She’d only been here four years, so she couldn’t begin to think about how Jan must feel knowing she’d have to deal with boxes and moving companies.

“And if it means so much to you, I’d love to see it. I bet it’s gorgeous.”

“It’s where I feel at my most comfortable.”

“I know.” Morgan leaned in and kissed Jan. “But if you do get sick of looking at your hotel room, you know I’ll make space for you here. It’s not something I even need to think about.”

“Thank you.”

“You know how you don’t wanna come down from something?” Morgan sighed, feeling immensely proud to have Jan in her arms. “Well, I don’t wanna come down from you. From this .”

“Then let’s not worry about ever coming down.

Let’s just…appreciate one another and have some fun.

” Jan rested her head against Morgan’s shoulder, but Morgan felt her smiling.

Knowing someone like Jan wanted to be here, wanted to be alone with Morgan, had her feeling several types of way, but Jan was right.

Appreciation was enough for Morgan for now.

“I may have done something when you agreed to fly out to Gran Canaria with me.” Morgan brought her hand to the back of Jan’s neck and grazed her nails against her skin.

“What did you do?” Jan barely managed to say those words out loud. It was almost a whisper.

“Upgraded our room.”

Jan beamed a smile as she tilted her head. “You did?”

“Only the best for the best.”

“Please let me contribute towards all of this. You can’t take on the cost alone. It’s not fair to you.”

Morgan would have paid triple if it meant she had the chance to go on holiday with Jan. It was no problem that she’d upgraded at all. If anything, it only made her far more excited. “This is my gift to you to help you relax before the shit hits the fan here.”

“Then I’m expecting you to find the nicest restaurant you can so I can take you for a fancy dinner while we’re there.”

Morgan shifted down the couch a little, her eyes half-lidded as she allowed the peacefulness to lull her into the tiniest nap. “It’s a date.”

* * *

Sitting comfortably on Morgan’s couch, Jan glanced around the room and smiled.

Morgan seemed like one of those women who didn’t need much in her life.

Of course she had the big TV, the sound system, and everything else most people owned these days, but her flat was clean and tidy.

It didn’t have random stuff strewn across it.

A lot like Jan’s home. Only this place felt much more homely.

It felt lived in. While Jan felt that way at her place, it felt lonely a lot of the time.

She reached for her phone on the coffee table as it pinged. Morgan was currently down in the bar picking up their takeout from the delivery driver.

It was Gillian.

Fancy a few glasses of wine tonight?

Jan would usually take her best friend up on an offer like that; wine night had been a regular thing in the past when Phil was out of the country. But Jan was giving her body a rest. She knew what Gran Canaria would likely entail, so she was off alcohol until they flew out in a couple of days.

I’m a little busy at the moment running through some figures. Can we do it some other time?

Jan hated lying to Gillian. She couldn’t recall a time before meeting Morgan when she had done so.

Still, Jan was only doing this to protect herself.

And to put less pressure on herself. It was bad enough that Phil had fucked everything up for her; she didn’t need to continue it by fucking it up for herself, too.

Can you not do that another time? Finn and I miss drinking with you.

Jan smiled. She appreciated that her friends missed her, but it wouldn’t change her answer. How could she even think about drinking wine on the couch when she had Morgan’s undivided attention?

My liver needs a rest before Spain. You know, with all the sangria I’ll be consuming!

Jan sunk further into the couch and sighed.

Sunshine, heat, the ocean. Fun, laughter, not a care in the world.

Good food, great wine, and…Morgan. God, she couldn’t wait to get on that flight.

She couldn’t wait to wheel her suitcase out of her hotel and pick Morgan up for their early morning travel to the airport.

Why does everything feel so good with her?

Jan didn’t know how to begin making heads or tails of this. Morgan shouldn’t have been the woman she was besotted with. No woman should. Fuck, this was really going to throw everyone in her life into disarray. As Jan thought about that, she found that she didn’t particularly care.

Her phone buzzed.

Fine. I’ll just have to drink without you! Call me tomorrow!

The door to Morgan’s flat opened suddenly, slamming shut as Morgan pressed her back to it, pizza boxes in one hand. “Fuck. That was close.”

Jan frowned. “What was?”

“They’re in the bar. Gillian and Finn.” Morgan splayed a hand against her chest and sighed. “Fucking hell. My heart is racing.”

Jan got to her feet and crossed the room, taking the pizza boxes from Morgan before her shaking hand dropped them. “Give those to me and breathe for a moment.”

“Finn was obviously suspicious. I swear she has the scent and intuition of a fucking bloodhound!”

Yeah, Jan had to agree with Morgan. Finn always seemed to know what was going on when nobody else did. Jan was just glad that Finn couldn’t possibly know that she was up here. She may be good at sniffing things out, but she wasn’t that good. “Hey, relax. Finn doesn’t know I’m here.”

Morgan snorted. “I’m glad you’re confident of that because I’m not.”

“How could she know, Morgan?”

Morgan pushed off the door and followed Jan into the kitchen. “She’s just that kind of person. I don’t know how she does it.”

Jan left the pizza boxes on the kitchen counter and turned to Morgan. She reached out a hand and pulled her closer, kissing her the moment she possibly could. “I need you to relax. Your eyes are about to bulge out of your head.”

“I just don’t want people to find out like this. It seems secretive, and that’s not who I am.” Morgan shook her hands at her sides, and then she looked up at Jan. “I don’t want you to ever feel like a secret.”

“I don’t feel like a secret. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m the one who asked if we could keep it to ourselves for a while longer.” Jan cupped Morgan’s cheek and smiled. “If you’re not able to do that, I understand. I don’t want you to ever feel as though you’re deceiving people.”

“I’m not risking this. No way.” Morgan leaned into Jan’s touch and smiled. “Feels too good to care about deceiving people.”

“Gillian texted me while you were getting our food. Asked me if I wanted to drink wine with her. I assumed she meant at home, but she must have meant here.”

“Did you want to? I can always get you out the back exit without them knowing.”

“No. That’s not why I told you. I don’t want to leave here until I absolutely have to. Spending the evening with you is becoming one of my favourite things to do.”

“You’ve really spent a lot of time alone, haven’t you?”

Jan shrugged. “It’s…whatever. I chose to put up with it.

And I can’t really complain. Phil was out there drumming up business for us and taking care of meetings, so I didn’t have to be the one travelling around the country.

It’s only recently that he’s strayed.” At least, Jan hoped that was the case.

If she found out Phil had been having affairs whenever he could, she would go down fighting when it came to the divorce.

“Come on. Let’s eat this in front of the TV. ”

“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Morgan narrowed her eyes, but Jan noted the smirk immediately. “Because I don’t make you eat at the dining table like you probably do at home.”

Jan threw up her hands. “You caught me. Guilty.”

Morgan held Jan’s jaw gently and drew her into a kiss. “Fuck, I hate it when you have to go. I don’t want you to go.”

Jan grinned as she took the pizza boxes and headed for the couch. “Maybe I won’t. Who knows.”

Morgan rushed behind her with the box of wedges and various dips. “Wait, you’re serious? You might stay over tonight?”

Jan had no reason to go back to the hotel. She had left a few items of clothing here for future ‘the morning after’ situations, and she had brought over a spare washbag. “Would you like me to stay over?”

“Can’t believe you even think you have to ask that,” Morgan snorted as she flopped down onto the couch. “But yes, I would like you to stay over.”

“Then I will.” Jan leaned over the couch and kissed Morgan. And then she smiled against her lips. “God, I’m going to get myself into a lot of trouble here.”

“Trouble is the fun part, babe.”

“Mm. Trouble is sexy.”