Page 6 of Heal You (The Study You #3)

Stretching her back, Morgan groaned and rolled over, almost falling off the couch.

She’d woken up as the sun streamed through the windows about an hour ago, wondering what the hell was going on, and then she remembered that Jan was here…

and had ultimately agreed to the bed last night rather than the couch.

As she sat up on her elbows, her neck stiff, the bathroom door opened, and Jan strolled out in one of Morgan’s fluffy but very short towels. Jan froze, gripping the towel against her. “O-oh. I took a shower. I hope you don’t mind.” She dipped her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Fuck . Jan could wake Morgan up looking like that on any morning she wished to. It would be an honour to have this woman walking around her flat naked. It truly would.

“And thank you again for last night.”

A lazy smile spread on Morgan’s lips as she said, “Any time.”

With red cheeks, Jan stared back at Morgan. “I’ll just get dressed and head off. I need to go to the house and get some belongings, then find a place to stay. I didn’t have the energy yesterday once I got there. I just sat on the edge of the bed for hours, wondering what was going on.”

“You’re welcome to stay here, you know. I work most evenings, so you’ll have some space and that.

” Morgan didn’t often share her space with anyone else, but she couldn’t get that look of heartbreak in Jan’s eyes out of her mind.

If offering her a place to stay could ease the load for Jan, then Morgan would do that for her.

“It’s really no problem. I can be invisible. ”

“That’s a very kind offer, but I shouldn’t. I’ll need to find a place eventually, so I should start that process now. Though, I think it’ll just be a hotel for the time being.”

Morgan sat up and ran a hand through her messy hair.

She toyed with her lip ring, wanting to stand up and move closer to Jan.

Could she do that? Probably, but Jan would likely run a mile given what she’d said last night when Morgan offered her bed to her.

Maybe she should just stay sitting on the couch, and hopefully, Jan would join her for some breakfast. She would need the fuel for the day ahead anyway. They both would. “Okay.”

“And if you should happen to see Gillian and Finn in the coming days, could you keep this to yourself please?”

“Of course. It’s not my business. I just wanted to offer a shoulder last night and be there for you.

I’m sure you’ll tell them when you’re ready to.

” Morgan wanted Jan to know that this could be a safe space when she needed it.

There was no ulterior motive here, even if Morgan did want to show Jan a thing or two that her husband likely couldn’t.

“Take your time. No rush to get out of here, okay?”

Jan rested against the doorframe of Morgan’s bedroom. “I can’t believe I’m about to go home in the clothes I was wearing last night. I’m forty-eight, for the love of God.”

Morgan lifted a shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry. You looked gorgeous in that dress last night.”

As she watched Morgan from across the room, still holding her towel in place, Jan narrowed her eyes. “I have a feeling you’re quite the womaniser, Morgan.”

“Me? Nah. Used to be back in my early twenties, but I can’t be arsed with it anymore. It gets too messy. I think the whole Amanda situation has just reminded me that I’m better off single. That fucking around isn’t for me anymore.”

“You won’t be going back for another helping if she shows up here?” Jan quirked a brow.

Fuck, that was sexy.

Morgan shook her head. “Absolutely not. I’m not getting tangled up in her marriage.

No way. If I’d known in the beginning, I never would have slept with her.

” She did rise to her feet this time, opting for the coffee machine while Jan was getting dressed.

Once she’d powered it on, she turned back to Jan.

“I’m going to write my number down for you, okay?

If you need anything at all, just send me a text, and I’ll help in any way I can. ”

“Thank you, but I don’t plan to be reliant on anyone if I can help it. People have their own lives to deal with. God knows Gillian and Finn have had enough going on to last them a lifetime. I’m not sure I even want to tell them.”

Morgan understood that Jan probably felt embarrassed by all of this, but she had no reason to be.

Her husband was the one in the wrong, and if Morgan knew Finn and Gillian the way she thought she did, they’d be upset knowing Jan was dealing with this alone.

“You’ll have to tell them at some point.

Gillian is your best friend, and if Finn finds out I knew about it down the line, she’ll kill me. ”

“And when that day comes, I’ll take the blame. Since I’m taking the blame for everything else right now, what difference will it make?” Jan’s shoulders slumped as she said that, the defeated look in her eyes painful to witness.

Morgan crossed the room and stopped in front of Jan.

She smelled of white tea and mint, Morgan’s favourite shower gel.

“Hey,” Morgan said as she lifted a hand to Jan’s cheek.

“You don’t take shit from him, okay? Whatever bullshit he feeds you, you walk away with your head held high. He’s the one who fucked up, not you.”

Jan subconsciously leaned into Morgan’s touch as her eyes closed. “I feel worthless.”

Morgan stroked her fingers along Jan’s jawline and brought them to her chin. “Look at me.”

When Jan’s eyes opened, the blueness of them had Morgan’s heart pounding. “Don’t ever feel worthless. You’ve done nothing wrong, and if he can’t see what he had and is now losing, then I feel sorry for him. He should feel worthless. He should feel ashamed. Not you.”

“I spent so long reminding Gillian of the things you’ve just said, but deep down, I know he needs more.

He must do.” Jan sniffled. “Twenty-seven years together, and he’s getting his kicks elsewhere.

I was so in love with him that I chose to look past his faults, our faults within the marriage, and now look at me. ”

“He has a mouth, Jan. If he chooses not to use it to communicate, then that’s not on you. You did the decent thing and went to marriage counselling.” God, Morgan hated seeing Jan like this. Her prick of a husband didn’t deserve her at all.

“I…have nothing left.” Jan whimpered as she lowered her eyes. “I even work with him. How am I supposed to keep doing that, knowing he’s around and Anais is probably around, too. He’s not going to fire her. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.”

“The important thing right now is that you concentrate on yourself. Look after you , not him or anyone else. You have to allow yourself the time to process this.”

“I don’t know how I would have got through last night without you.

” Jan took the hand resting under her chin and pressed her lips to Morgan’s knuckles.

The sensation it caused had Morgan’s stomach somersaulting, but she couldn’t focus on that.

Whatever she felt was happening here…wasn’t. “Thank you, Morgan.”

God, even the way Jan spoke her name had the hairs on the back of Morgan’s neck standing to attention.

But Morgan knew Jan wasn’t interested in her.

She was straight—Morgan was certain of it.

“You’re welcome.” And now she had to create some distance between them.

“I’ll put some breakfast on for us while you’re getting dressed. ”

Jan turned for the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Morgan remained in her place, pressing a palm to the wood separating them, and sighed.

Right now, Jan’s well-being was the priority.

Once she had left, Morgan could give herself a moment to process her own feelings.

Until then, she would treat her guest the same way she would treat anyone else. With respect and a line between them.

* * *

With a shaking hand, Jan slid her key into the lock and opened the front door.

Everything remained as it had always been, not an item out of place, but her heart was aching in her chest. She’d always wondered what a broken heart felt like, and as she stood in her bright, vanilla-scented hallway, she now knew.

It wasn’t something she would wish on anyone.

Just get some things together and leave.

What a dreadful feeling to have. The house she had poured so much love into with Phil felt alien to her.

She didn’t feel as though she belonged in it anymore.

Would Anais move in with Phil? Would he break things off with her?

Jan didn’t know any answers right now other than the fact that she needed to leave as soon as possible.

As she placed one foot on the stairs, the back living room door opened suddenly. “Thank God you’re home.” Phil sighed with relief, then frowned. “Where the hell have you been dressed like that?”

Jan looked back at Phil with utter disgust. “Why do you care where I’ve been?”

“Of course I care. You’re my wife, and you didn’t come home last night.”

“Oh! Now I’m your wife? When it fucking suits you!” Jan didn’t want to get angry, she didn’t have the energy for it, but how dare Phil say something like that to her? “And since you care so much, I stayed with a friend.”

“Gill? She knows? Great!”

Jan almost laughed at that. If this hadn’t been such a serious situation, she would have laughed.

But this was a mess, and she had no idea where she would go from here.

Nothing about this was remotely funny. “Gill doesn’t know anything.

I feel too fucking embarrassed to tell her.

So, thank you for that. I have nobody to fall back on because you’ve made me feel so fucking humiliated that I don’t want to face my closest friend. ”

“This has nothing to do with anybody else. It’s between you and me.”

Jan narrowed her eyes. “And Gareth and Anais.”

“Love.” Phil reached out a hand, but Jan shifted away.

“Don’t dare touch me. You’ve been fucking another woman for a year, so don’t you dare lay a hand on me, Phil.”

He held up his hands and took a step back.

The light caught his wedding ring, but it only made Jan sick to the stomach all over again.

She lowered her clutch bag to the stairs, then removed her custom-made wedding and engagement rings.

She dropped them into his palm, then looked back up to meet his gaze.

“W-what are you doing?” Phil stared down at the platinum in his hand as his bottom lip trembled.

“Thank you for ruining the twenty-seven years we spent together. Do whatever you like with those. I have no use for them anymore.” Without another word, Jan took the stairs slowly, the weight of what was happening crushing her shoulders. She felt tired and drained. She felt…hopeless.

“Jan! We need to talk about this! You can’t just walk out on me.”

Jan turned around when she reached the top of the stairs and glared at Phil. “We have nothing to talk about, and I can just walk out on you.” She scoffed and shook her head. “And take this as my notice. I resign. Don’t expect me to work the four weeks required either.”

“Jan, love. Please.”

Jan walked away and directly into the bedroom.

She eyed the bed, consumed by so many questions.

Had Phil ever brought Anais over here? Had that woman been in her bed?

She balked at the thought, rushing into the ensuite and emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

As Jan lowered herself to the floor and pressed her back against the bath, tears slowly worked their way down her face.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

She stared at her knees as she brought them to her chest, her eyes burning when fresh tears appeared.

How long would crying last? Would she ever stop, or would the pain of her marriage ending consume her forever?

Gillian had pulled through, but then again, Gillian had found someone ten times the person Dave ever could have been.

Jan didn’t feel as though she was in a similar position.

Gillian hadn’t been happy with Dave, but Jan?

She’d worshipped the ground Phil walked on…

even when she felt something was off within their marriage.

Perhaps that had been where she’d gone wrong.

Unconditionally adoring someone could only ever bring disappointment.

At the end of the day, nobody was perfect.

On reflection, Phil certainly hadn’t been.

The only thing she knew with certainty right now was that there was no coming back for them. Other people may be willing to give that second chance, but Jan couldn’t. She would forever wonder what Phil was doing and who he was with. That trust had been obliterated, and there was no going back.

She exhaled a shaky breath and wiped the tears from her face. “Time to…start over.”