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They stared at each other for several seconds, and Atticus was sure the whole world could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

“Attie,” Kai said. His voice was soft, quiet as the morning, amber eyes still wide with surprise that the door had been yanked open before he could even knock.

Atticus watched him suck in a shaky breath, and felt as though time itself were holding still right along with him. Kai took a small step forward. “I-”

Atticus reached out, unable to stop from pulling Kai into his arms. Kai squeaked, his words cut off as he was pressed tight to Atticus' chest. His nose stung something fierce as his emotions tried to get the better of him, and Atticus pressed his lips softly to the top of Kai’s head.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his breath ruffling Kai’s hair. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

Kai melted against him a bit, and Atticus felt arms snake around his waist. He fought the urge to pump his fist in the air as Kai hugged him back.

“I’m sorry, too,” Kai said, his words muffled against Atticus’ chest. Atticus knew that he should at least loosen his grip some before he crushed the other man. It took everything he had, his body and mind screaming for him to never let go, not again.

But he did. Atticus did let go, his arms unlatching from Kai’s smaller frame just enough that he could pull back. Just enough to give him whatever space he needed.

And Kai did pull back. It tugged at Atticus’ gut, made him feel as though everything he wanted could slip away on the morning breeze.

Kai pulled back, but he didn’t let go. His hands gripped the sides of Atticus’ t-shirt, held on fiercely. Atticus wasn’t sure that he was even aware he was doing it.

“I shouldn’t have left yesterday,” Kai continued, looking up into Atticus’ face, his gaze unblinking. Atticus could see some of his own fear mirrored there, and he wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. He kept silent though, allowing Kai to continue.

“I should have stayed,” Kai said, the words spilling out of him in a way that was so unlike his usual, controlled way of speaking. “We should have talked about it, I should have talked about it. You were upset, and I knew you were upset, but I just wanted it to go away. I’m sorry.”

Atticus seemed to have fully lost control of his body as his hand reached out, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind Kai’s ear. Letting his fingers brush against soft skin, sending sparks up his own arm.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you,” he said. He took a deep breath, looking away for only a second to steady himself.

“I told you I loved you, and then immediately put pressure on you to accept that. After saying you could take whatever time you needed. Kai,” he paused, a smile tugging at his lips.

“If you want to take the next twenty years to figure out what we are, I can wait for twenty years to pass. I was lying when I said I’d move on, and we both know it.

But that doesn’t mean you owe me anything.

I can love you in whatever way you need, but I promise I’ll never stop. ”

Atticus felt the hands at his sides grip his shirt tighter, watched as Kai went completely still. It was as though the gears that were always, always turning in that beautiful mind finally slowed and came to a quiet halt.

“Attie.” The way Kai said his name, like it was something sacred and precious, it nearly brought him to his knees. “I-”

The slow squeak of the front door interrupted him, pulling their attention down to the ground.

The kitten bolted off the porch.

“Shit!” Atticus yelled, taking off at a run after her. She was a fast little fucker, flying down the side of the road before turning off into a neighbor’s yard.

Atticus could hear Kai running close behind, their footfalls pounding hard against the pavement, as he lost sight of her.

Kai was out of breath from running. They had only been searching for a few minutes, but worry was beginning to cloud past the adrenaline rush he’d felt when they’d both taken off after the kitten.

He came to a halt on the side of the road, hands on his knees as he sucked in lungful after lungful of air.

“She’s gone,” Atticus said, his voice shaky. Kai looked up to see panic written across his face, his eyes scanning the surrounding yards frantically as his hands raked through his hair. “What if she’s gone?”

This was a side of Atticus that Kai had only seen once. The morning before, when he’d come into the kitchen looking so terrified, as if he’d known something was about to go wrong. As if he’d known, when he woke up alone, that Kai was going to disappear from his life.

“Hey,” Kai said softly, placing a hand gently against Atticus’ cheek. Sky blue eyes finally focused on him. “We’ll find her. It’ll be okay.”

Kai knew she’d be back, by dinnertime at the latest. She knew who fed her, and she’d get bored with her little adventure when hunger started to poke at her.

But the desperation on Atticus’ face made Kai feel sick, and he didn’t want to wait until dinnertime for it to disappear.

He would do anything to make that look go away.

Which is what he should have done yesterday, when he’d seen the hurt clear as day on Atticus’ face.

He raised his other hand, cupping Atticus’ cheeks, forcing him to focus. “You keep looking around here. I’m going back to the house to grab some treats and a toy. Maybe we can lure her out with those. Okay?”

Atticus nodded, one hand coming up to grip Kai’s wrist. “Okay, yeah. Call me if you see her.”

“I will,” Kai said, hesitating for a moment, soaking up the warmth of Atticus’ skin under his palms before turning away to jog back toward the house. They were several blocks away at this point, but it didn’t take Kai long to get back.

He laughed when he was finally close enough to see the front porch. A loud, shaky, unburdened laugh that ripped out of him.

The kitten was sitting in front of the door, tail flicking back and forth as she watched Kai approach. The little shit had come right back. It seemed as though neither of them could stay away for long.

He scooped her up, holding her tight against his chest as he pulled out his phone. The relief in Atticus’ voice as Kai told him to come back home was palpable, and his soft laugh coming across the line sent shivers skating along Kai’s skin.

Kai took the kitten back into the house, checking over her to make sure she hadn’t injured herself while out on her little romp through the neighborhood.

He sat at the counter, on his usual barstool, feeling at home for the first time in the last twenty-four hours.

The kitten looked up at him from his lap, blinking slowly as he pulled the item he’d ordered out of his pocket.

He buckled the collar around her neck right as Atticus burst through the front door.

Atticus was still breathing heavy, had seemingly run all the way back, as he approached them.

“I’m gonna give her to Sammie if she interrupts us one more time,” he said. “See if she likes it in her boring apartment. Sammie won’t spoil her, that’s for sure. She’s a dog person.” The words were teasing, laced with relief that Kai could see clear on Atticus’ face.

“What’s this?” Atticus asked, long fingers brushing the bright red collar she now wore around her neck. It was a nice one, leather, sturdy and durable. Sleek. Kai couldn’t help that he had expensive taste. Atticus’ fingers found the metal tag attached to the collar.

“Vash the Stampede…” His voice trailed off as his eyes went wide and met Kai’s. Kai couldn’t help but smirk at him. Atticus threw his hands in the air. “‘No boy names’ you said! So picky, every time I threw out a name!”

His voice was loud and filled with laughter, and it made Kai feel lighter than he had in a long time. A smile finally tugged at his lips, and he shrugged.

“It suits her,” Kai said. Atticus watched him with glee in his eyes. “Our little feline typhoon.” Kai paused, felt his cheeks warm before he could get the next part out. “And it was the first anime we finished together.”

Atticus’ head tilted, consideration and something more filling his expression.

“Hang on,” he said, leaving the room. Kai sat frozen at the counter.

The words he had almost said on the porch still burned in his throat, still begged for release.

He heard something slam shut just before Atticus came back into the room holding a maroon bundle.

The kitten- Vash, finally she had a name- jumped out of Kai’s lap as Atticus approached, shaking out the bundle he held before pushing it down over Kai’s head.

“Wait!” Kai yelped, struggling against Atticus’ ambush. A laugh escaped him as he realized what was happening and gave up on fighting back. He straightened out his gamertag-branded t-shirt under the hoodie before popping his arms and head out through the proper holes.

“That’s better,” Atticus said, leaning back to take in his handiwork. Kai looked down at the Cats hoodie he now wore.

“Why’s it so warm?”

“I had to wash it,” Atticus said, waving a hand, though his cheeks were tinted a soft pink. “Don’t worry about it.”

Kai let the fabric warm him, let the feeling seep into his skin, wrap around all of the parts of him he’d thought too sharp and too angry and too sad to ever feel this way again. To feel content. To feel held safe. To feel so wholly loved.

“Attie,” he said, eyes still downcast as he inhaled sharply. He had to admit it out loud. He had to admit it to himself. Kai tangled his fingers into the cuffs of his hoodie before looking back up. “I love you.”

He watched Atticus’ face transform, disbelief shifting into utter joy. His smile was bright, brighter than the sun shining in through the windows. A light that had been there for Kai, always shining in on his darkest parts.

Kai sucked in a breath as Atticus closed the distance between them, as their lips crashed together. Atticus’ hands brushed along his jaw, tangled in his hair as Kai melted into the kiss. He gripped the front of Atticus’ shirt, pulling him closer so that the other man stood between his legs.

“Does this mean you’re done thinking?” Atticus asked, smiling against Kai’s lips. Kai hummed.

“Probably not,” he said, “I’m never done thinking.”

“We’ll see about that,” Atticus murmured, running his hands down Kai’s arms as he kissed him again.

Atticus was right. For once, Kai did allow himself to stop thinking.

As Atticus’ hands roved over him, everything from the last year fell away.

All of the sadness and anger and hurt slid from his skin with every burning touch, every soft movement of lips against his own.

Kai tugged Atticus closer, holding on, finally reaching out to grab onto the lifeline that had been held out to him for so long.

Kai felt as though moving on was finally possible. The fear he’d held toward where life would go, the fear of the unknown and unexpected, it all felt so much smaller with Atticus’ arms around him.

He wrapped his legs around Atticus’ waist, held on tight as the countertop dug into his back. Kai slipped his hands up under Atticus’ shirt, ghosting his fingers across warm skin. A small sound escaped from low in Atticus’ throat, and satisfaction coursed through Kai.

A scraping sound met his ears. Both men froze.

Atticus sighed, his breath hot against Kai’s cheeks as he pressed their foreheads together. The sound of a coffee mug shattering on the wood floor rang out, mixing perfectly with their laughter.

Julian: congratulations shithead, i knew you could do it

Atticus: Thanks fuckface!!!

Atticus: Really tho, couldn’t have done it without you and Ori :)

Julian: sure you could have, just would have taken you another year n a half

Julian: probably

Atticus: …

Atticus: Probably

Sammie: Do you have something to tell me?

Atticus: Oh yeah i need another one of those shitty mugs from the brewery

Sammie: What happened to the last one I gave you???

Atticus: Broke

Sammie: That’s the fourth one I’m not giving you another one for free

Atticus: I’ve always told everyone you don’t actually love me, knew I was right

Sammie: Fuck you

Sammie: Now spill

Atticus: Kai lovesss meeeeee :D

Atticus: Wait how did you know something happened??

Sammie: Ivy told me

Atticus: How does Ivy know? It’s only been

Atticus: 27 minutes???

Sammie: She said Kai told Ori who told the entire Cats group chat

Atticus: WTF

Atticus: I FORGOT I HAD THEM MUTED

Atticus: Screenshot

Sammie: Damn

Sammie: 184 messages

Sammie: Love this for you

Atticus: I hate all of you

Atticus: I’m going to turn my phone off and go make out with my new boyfriend

Sammie: Gross.

Sammie: Before you do that though

Sammie: I’m happy for you attie

Atticus: Thanks :) I’m really happy

Atticus: You could be happy like this too

Atticus: I think you should talk to Kieran

Sammie: I know. It’s scary. What if it goes bad ?

Atticus: Then we’ll just deal with it, like we’ve always done. I’ve got your back sammie

Atticus: Always have always will

Atticus: Love you

Sammie: Thanks. Love you too. Now go have fun with your new boyfriend.

Atticus: We’re gonna get freaky :D

Sammie: I’m gonna block your number