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“WHAT’S THE MATTER?”

Kai startled a little at the question, the fabric of the quilt he was leaning back against catching on his hoodie as he shifted uncomfortably. He paused his game, setting his controller down in front of his crossed legs before looking up at Nicholas.

“Nothing.”

Nicholas smirked down at him, head tilted to the side, one hand on his hip while the other held tight to a volleyball. Kai squirmed under his friend’s intent gaze.

He could never hide anything from Nicholas.

Kai huffed out a sigh. “It really is nothing,” he muttered, eyes focusing on the screen in front of him, staring at the paused game as though he could find a way into it to escape this line of questioning.

“Kai.” Nicholas' voice was sharp, but not unkind. Never unkind. Nicholas squatted down next to him, shifting to hold the volleyball between both hands. “Just tell me what’s wrong. You’ve barely said anything to me all day.”

A sideways glance showed a hint of hurt in his friend’s expression. Shame filled Kai, twisted his gut and made his fingers clinch around the ends of his sleeves. They had planned to spend today together, playing video games just like they always did.

Like they always had .

These days occurred less and less often with every passing month, every passing year. And even planning this one in advance, Nicholas still had to leave earlier than usual to go play the new game that had taken over his life. Over their lives.

It wasn’t an official practice. If it were, Kai would be going as well, falling into his new role as setter more naturally than he’d expected to.

No, this wasn’t a true practice like the ones they’d both be starting soon for the summer league they’d joined.

Nicholas was just dedicated. He spent time every day bettering himself when it came to volleyball.

It wasn’t for nothing, the results were clear in his play style, in the way he was becoming a force to be reckoned with on the court, one of the best emerging middle blockers in their league.

So Kai couldn’t fault him. He didn’t fault him.

He did miss him though. Some days more than others.

Nicholas was still staring, those sharp, hazel eyes piercing Kai, pinning him in place. Just like a cat with its prey. Kai let out a harsh sigh through his nose, rolling his eyes.

“It’s silly.” His voice betrayed him , more emotion slipping out than he wanted. Nicholas tilted his head forward, pushing Kai on.

“I’ve just been…” Kai paused to screw up his courage. Was he really about to admit it out loud? “I’ve been worried you’re going to move on.”

Nicholas’ expression changed, slipping into something a little more questioning, confusion scrunching his eyes up.

“Move on?”

“Gah!” Kai curled in on himself, his long bangs curtaining his face as he hunched his shoulders forward. Nicholas was really going to make him say it. Why couldn’t he just read between the lines ?

“From me, Nicky.” Kai’s words were mumbled, and a part of him hoped that maybe Nicholas wouldn’t even hear them, would just shrug it all off and move on with his day.

“You think I’ll move on from you?”

Kai couldn’t see his friend, not with the way he was curled up, hiding from this conversation and the realities it brought to the surface.

A hand brushed his shoulder, sending a shiver through his entire body.

Something else he would ignore for the time being, the way every touch from his friend had turned into something electric recently.

Something new, something Kai didn’t know what to do about.

That same hand brushed Kai’s hair back, long fingers finding his chin and tilting it so their eyes could meet once again.

“Kai.” Nicholas’ smirk was gone, all teasing wiped away from his expression. He went through most of life unserious, and Kai knew that when his friend was being sincere… well, it meant a lot. It meant Nicholas cared about this.

“You’re in my life,” Nicholas continued, shaking his head.

Kai couldn’t help but notice the way his messy bangs shifted over one eye.

He wanted to reach out, push that dark hair back so he could feel the full weight of the other boy’s gaze on him, even if it felt like he was being held open and exposed to the world.

“You’re a part of me, of who I am. You’re there in every decision I make.

You’re my best friend, just because we’re together less doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget about you. ”

Kai could feel the weight of truth in the words, could see it reflected in those piercing hazel eyes.

And he knew, deep down, he really knew that what they had wasn’t something easily broken.

They had been friends, twined in each other’s lives for so long, tangled together in a way that couldn’t simply unravel.

It wasn’t really something Kai had worried about before.

Nicholas had been around for so long that it felt like he had always been there, like his presence had been embedded in Kai’s life from the very beginning.

It had only been recently, when volleyball had begun to become a bigger part of their lives, when new friendships were being founded and social calendars began to fill up, that Kai had felt fear at what he could lose.

Fear that Nicholas would move on to bigger and better things, leaving Kai stranded in his wake.

“Are you going to say anything?”

Nicholas’ question pulled Kai out of his thoughts, away from the treacherous depths of his spinning mind.

He knew he needed to respond, needed to voice some sort of reassurance.

Even if the sentiment was false, even if he was still terrified of a life without his closest friend.

A life without the boy he was probably falling a little in love with.

It was hard. Always so hard to find his voice, to find the right words to express his feelings whenever he was put on the spot like this. Hard to push past those feelings when they were choking him, welling up in his throat and making it nearly impossible to speak.

Kai finally shrugged.

“I think I’m just tired,” he said, fighting back warring emotions that tried to slip into the words.

Nicholas was still staring intently, brows furrowed.

Kai wanted to reach out, brush all traces of concern away.

Instead, he picked up his controller, readying himself to get back into his game.

“You’re going to be late meeting the other guys. ”

He kept his gaze trained on the screen, hyper-focused on the enemies he was plowing down, decidedly not looking at the boy still crouched next to him. Kai could feel Nicholas’ stare, could pinpoint the exact places that gaze trailed over the skin of his face.

After what felt like an eternity, a shift next to him had Kai finally glancing over to see Nicholas rising to his full height.

He was getting so tall, leaving Kai behind in that way as well.

Not that he minded. It was just another thing about his friend that Kai now found himself fixating on, the way Nicholas could look down at him and set his heart racing.

Just as he was doing in that very moment, his expression slipping back into one of mischief, that trademark cheshire grin overtaking his features.

He reached out a hand, ruffling Kai’s hair and earning himself a scowl as he turned to leave.

Kai hit pause on his game one more time.

“Are we still on for Saturday?” He couldn’t help but throw the question out, almost wincing at the slight desperation in his voice. Nicholas paused in the doorway before turning back. His smile was wide, true and happy and the most beautiful smile Kai had ever seen.

“Of course!” Excitement laced Nicholas’ words. He leaned against the door frame, and Kai felt the air of the room still as he waited for his friend to continue. “I meant what I said, Kai. You’ve got me forever.”

Kai only stared as Nicholas finally slipped into the hallway, the space he had exited holding Kai’s focus long after he was left alone in the house.

He waited for his pulse to settle, for his heartbeat to stop echoing in his ears, before turning back to his game.

He couldn’t help the small smile that played across his lips.

You’ve got me forever.

Kai hoped with everything he had that those words would prove true.