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“Is the lighting gonna be okay in here?”

Kai looked up at the question, before looking around the guest bedroom he’d woken in that morning. He glanced back at Atticus, who was watching him with a soft, open smile and a question in his blue eyes.

“It’ll be fine,” Kai responded, letting the bag he carried slip off his shoulder to land on the bed. “I brought a light just in case.”

It was Atticus' turn to glance around the room. “Not really anywhere to set up your stuff, though…”

Kai shrugged. “I can figure it out. I don’t want to be in your way out there.” He waved toward the common area.

“More like I don’t want to be in the way of your streams,” Atticus said. He paused, expression turning thoughtful. “Hang on, I think I’ve got something.”

Atticus moved to leave the room, slipping past Kai as he did, a hand gently brushing across Kai’s lower back as he passed by, sending a shiver up his spine at the contact. He could feel the heat of Atticus' skin, even through the thick fabric of the hoodie he still wore.

It had been like that all day. Atticus had never been shy about contact, had demonstrated a level of touch that had always felt comfortable to Kai.

And since they’d left to get Kai’s car earlier that morning, it had been more of the same.

A shoulder bumping his own alongside a joke told, a hand lingering at the small of his back when they’d arrived back at Atticus' place at the same time, gently pushing Kai into the house.

Every time, every single touch set Kai on fire.

He’d long since reconciled the fact that he was very attracted to Atticus.

Physically. Who wouldn’t be? But despite the way his blood fizzed every time the other man’s skin brushed his own…

that’s all it was. Physical attraction. That’s all Kai could allow it to be.

Even if Atticus was good to him, even if Kai knew that the initial crush on NotYourKitten had transformed into something more since they’d gotten to know one another. Since the night they’d slept together .

Kai began unpacking his things, carefully placing his clothes into the drawers Atticus had said he could use. He tried to focus on the task at hand, tried to keep his mind from wandering back to that night.

He didn’t tend to let himself think about the one time he and Atticus had slept together.

Not often, anyway. But maybe it was the small touches that had been building up all day, or maybe it was the fact that he was in the other man’s home, surrounded by things and scents that were distinctly Atticus .

Because his mind did wander back to that night, just a bit.

A memory of hands gripping his waist, harsh breaths against his neck, broad shoulders caging him in.

A rush of something he hadn’t felt in a long time as their bodies had moved together.

Kai huffed out a breath, scrunching his eyes shut as if he could block it all out that way.

He shoved his socks into the drawer and pushed it closed too harshly.

Turning back to the bed, he began to unpack some of his equipment, scowling at the way his hands were a little unsteady in their movements.

Another memory popped into his mind, unbidden and unwanted.

A night, several months earlier, when he’d been sitting alone on his couch, feeling shitty and angry with the world.

It had been months since his relationship with Nicholas had ended, all of the feelings of heartbreak and anger still sharp as razors under his skin, slicing with every movement, with every breath he took.

He was angry with Nicholas, angry at the world.

Angry at himself for sitting and wallowing in it all on yet another Friday night, after so much time had passed.

What was so wrong with him, that he couldn’t move on?

Couldn’t find a new way to be happy, a new way to exist that didn’t hurt quite so much?

Kai had felt tears pricking his eyes, a lump in his throat and a tightness in his chest as he fought it all back. He’d been determined not to cry about it again, not to give his heartache any more of his tears.

He’d been so close to failing when his phone had chimed with a message.

Atticus: I loev you.

Kai had stared at his phone screen, blinking until his eyes were clear. It was the middle of the night, and he knew that the Cats had gone out drinking as a final celebration before more rigorous training for the end of season tournament.

Kai: Are you drunk?

Kai: Attie?

It hadn’t really been what Kai had wanted to ask.

Do you mean it? An affirmative answer came through next, followed by a slightly less drunk Ori taking Atticus' phone away. He’d asked Kai to be nice to Atticus the next day, not to embarrass him.

It stung a little, the idea that Ori worried that he would be cruel to Atticus.

They were friends at that point. Kai would never intentionally hurt him.

In the end, the messages had been deleted, and Kai had never brought them up. If Atticus remembered sending them, he’d never mentioned it.

Thinking about that night softened something in Kai, enough to brush the scowl from his face as he unzipped another of his travel bags.

He knew that Atticus felt some sort of way for him.

Knew that the other man put their friendship first, pushed down whatever it was he felt so that they could comfortably stay in each other’s lives.

Kai’s gut sank when he thought about his actions the night before, about the hazy memory he had of drunkenly asking Atticus to bring him here.

About the implication in his words and actions .

It wasn’t fair to Atticus for him to act like that.

To say things like that, to imply that their relationship could turn into something more, even if it was just physical.

Kai was too fucked up in the head, too unsteady even being on his own, despite the amount of time that had passed.

Despite the fact that the person he was hung up on would never be in his life again. Not in the way he wanted.

Movement in the doorway pulled Kai’s attention away from the microphone in his hands. He set it gently on the bed before turning to see Atticus lugging a small fold-up table into the room.

“Will this work?” Atticus asked, unfolding the legs and setting it up in a corner of the room. “You can use one of the chairs from the kitchen, I’ll bring one in here for you.”

“It’ll be fine,” Kai said, picking up a few things from the bed, moving to place them on the table. He turned to Atticus, staring until he had his attention. “I’m sorry about last night.”

Atticus waved a hand. “I already told you, you have nothing to be…”

“No,” Kai said, voice low. He forced himself to hold Atticus' gaze, to not look away from what he saw there, what it lit within him. “Not that I got drunk and you had to drag me home. I’m sorry that I acted like something was going to happen. That I used you like that in front of…”

His throat closed, refusing to let him finish the thought.

Atticus shrugged his broad shoulders, that same charming grin still shining bright.

“Nah, I get it,” he said, turning to look at everything Kai had placed on the table.

Kai didn’t fail to notice the slightly pink tint on his cheeks.

“You needed an out, I was happy to help. It’s fine.

” Atticus leaned forward, snatching something up from the table.

“Cute,” he said, his grin slipping into something a bit more teasing. He held a pair of Kai’s headphones. They were a soft pink, nearly the same shade as the ends of his hair, and sported a pair of cat ears. Atticus put them on. “How do they look on me?”

Kai smirked, playing at nonchalance as he inwardly breathed a sigh of relief that the conversation had been diverted.

Maybe it wasn’t a good thing, maybe they needed to talk about it more.

But Atticus always had a knack for knowing when Kai could handle talking about the hard stuff, and when he couldn’t.

It made Kai’s heart beat a little faster, knowing that Atticus was trying to make him feel better.

Kai couldn’t help but smirk. “Your big head is going to stretch them out.”

Atticus narrowed his eyes, but his smile grew even wider, even brighter.

He reached out, tucking a strand of Kai’s hair behind his ear.

The brush of his fingers sent sparks across Kai’s cheek, lit up his skin from within.

It dawned on him suddenly just how close they were standing to one another.

He could feel Atticus’ breath against his face as he leaned forward, pulling the headphones off his own head before placing them over Kai’s ears.

“They look better on you anyway,” Atticus said, that stupid, charming, fucking grin still there. His hand lingered, fingers brushing along Kai’s jaw as he slowly pulled them away.

They were close, so close, and Kai couldn’t help but think about how easy it would be to close the distance between them, to feel the press of soft lips against his one more time.

It would be wrong, so wrong, but every now and then Kai couldn’t help but want to toss all caution to the wind, consequences be damned.

His heart might be shattered and caged away, but what was stopping him from simply enjoying himself, from letting his body take the lead?

Kai stood frozen in place, his breath hitching as Atticus moved his hand to cup the back of Kai’s neck. He knew Atticus could feel it too, was sure that he wanted to act on whatever was happening between them even more than Kai did.

It could hurt them. Both of them. Kai didn’t want to lead Atticus on, didn’t want to lose their friendship.

But with the other man towering over him, making him feel so small and so safe , blonde hair falling over his forehead- still a little sweaty from practice- as he looked down at Kai, all thoughts of the risks started to slip away.