Page 17

PRESENT DAY

Kai knew it was too late the moment he came to.

Pain lanced through his skull, splitting him open from the inside.

Behind his eyes, radiating from his temples like a spider web across his skull, down the back of his neck.

He took several deep breaths. In slowly, hold, out.

His mind cleared enough for him to think straight, to gather the steps he needed to take into a neat and manageable order.

Medicine. He needed to get out of bed and find his medicine. Or maybe…

Kai reached out for his wallet, sitting right there on the nightstand.

The movement sent a new wave of agony and nausea through him.

He pressed the left side of his face into the pillow, desperate to relieve the pain with any sort of pressure, knowing it was futile.

After a few more moments, he held his wallet close to his face, flipping it open to search through it.

Empty. The pocket he was looking in was empty. He’d used the emergency migraine pill he kept there the other day. After giving himself a hangover, like an idiot. Kai tossed the wallet away with a groan.

He knew his triggers well at this point.

Too much alcohol, too much screen time, too much stress.

But every once in a while, a migraine would just…

happen. No rhyme or reason. The random ones occurred less and less as he worked with his doctor on preventative measures.

But every so often, one would come on suddenly, with a fury he was never ready for.

Which was why he always kept the emergency medication on hand.

Kai pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, searching again for pressure that would distract him from the pain. He needed to get up and find the box with the rest of his medicine.

Another groan as he pushed himself into a sitting position.

Every motion felt sluggish and heavy, took too much effort.

He got up slowly, shuffling across the room to his duffel bag.

He could hear movement elsewhere in the house from where he’d left the door cracked open.

Atticus must be up already, had probably been up for a while, judging by the amount of light slipping through the window blinds.

Kai dug through his bag, tossing clothes aside. Where had he put the box when he’d packed? He couldn’t quite remember, and thinking was so hard when he felt as though his head were being torn wide open.

“No,” he said aloud, voice cracking a little. “No no no .”

It wasn’t there. The medicine was nowhere to be found in his bag. Kai felt tears of frustration, tears half brought on by the pain, stinging his eyes before slipping down his cheeks. And then he suddenly remembered.

He’d been gathering items from his bathroom, snatching up toiletries and tossing them into his bag. He’d pulled the box of medicine out of the cabinet, had placed it on the sink counter. Had forgotten to pack it into his bag .

“Fuck,” he hissed, curling in on himself, still crouched on the floor next to his duffel. A knock sounded at his door.

“Kai, you up?” Atticus' voice, just as bright and cheery as it was every morning. Kai couldn’t will himself to move, couldn’t even turn his head to look toward the door. “I was gonna go for a run, you want to…”

His voice trailed off, and Kai heard the soft swish of the door swinging open. Hands were suddenly on his back, the touch gentle and unsure.

“What’s wrong?” Atticus asked softly. A current of worry buzzed off of him, and Kai could feel how close he was, kneeling next to him. He lifted his head from his arms.

“I, um…” It was hard to speak, still so hard to think straight, between the pain and the frustration and the tears still stinging his eyes. “I forgot to pack my medicine.”

“You have a migraine?”

Kai nodded, and the motion sent another throbbing ache through his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, felt a tear slip out to run down his face.

Arms wrapped around him, pulled him in close. A warm hand at the back of his neck, pressing at the tight muscles there, rubbing in a way that eased some of the tension. He could feel Atticus' breath against his hair as the other man held him close, speaking again more softly.

“You need it, right?”

Kai let himself melt a little into the embrace. “Or I’ll be down all day.”

Atticus seemed to think for a few moments.

“Do you know where you left it?”

Kai described where he’d placed the box, hoping desperately that it hadn’t been tossed away in the ongoing construction. The contractor had called the evening before, letting Kai know they’d already begun to tear out the faulty pipes .

“Okay,” Atticus said, pulling Kai up from the floor while still keeping a tight hold on him. He snatched Kai’s set of keys off the nightstand. “I’m gonna get you some water, then I’ll go get the medicine for you.”

Kai nodded, letting Atticus help him to slip back under the covers. He immediately curled into a ball, earning a small chuckle from the other man.

“I’ll be back soon, ‘kay?” Atticus reached down, pushing Kai’s hair back from his face. “Need anything else?”

“No,” Kai replied, voice a little stronger. He felt marginally better knowing relief was on the way. He met Atticus' gentle, blue-eyed stare. “Thank you.”

Atticus only smiled, a little lopsided, before turning away to leave. Kai’s heart beat a touch faster as that image stayed in his mind, clear as day even after he closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

He dozed off and on, unsure if minutes or hours passed. The pain in his head refused to recede on its own, no matter what position he lay in or how much water he drank. At long last, a ding sounded from close by.

Kai reached out, nearly dropping his phone to the floor in his attempt to grab it. He swiped the screen open, flinching a little at the brightness that sent another stab through his head.

Atticus: Omw back, be home soon

Just a little while longer. He’d survived countless migraines before, he would make it through this one too, even if the pain felt like it was breaking him. The end was in sight.

Kai was about to toss his phone aside when he noticed another unread message.

Nicholas: Please Kai. Please just respond to me .

Maybe it was the pain, or maybe it was the frustration that had welled at not having his medicine on hand. Maybe it was annoyance that Nicholas was reminding him of all of the hurt and loss when Kai already felt like complete shit. Kai had had enough.

Kai: Leave me alone. Stop contacting me. You can’t fix this, there is nothing left to fix.

Somehow, typing the words out felt a little more harsh.

He’d wanted to scream similar sentiments in the past, had wanted to rail against Nicholas for breaking his heart and shattering what they had.

But typing it out, one letter at a time, it made it feel a bit more final.

So emotionless, so uncaring. Because Kai couldn’t bring himself to care, not today.

Not when his mind could hardly form thoughts, could hardly even acknowledge the desperation in Nicholas' text.

He wanted to be done with it. He wanted to stop hurting, to stop being reminded of that pain. Kai wanted to move on.

That same image of Atticus smiling softly down at him popped into his head as he set his phone aside. It stayed there, at the forefront of his mind, pushing past all of the pain, as he dozed off once again.

Atticus wondered if he should go check on Kai again. He fidgeted on the couch, biting at the inside of his cheek as he stared unseeing at the television screen.

He didn’t want to pester. Didn’t want to do anything that would make Kai feel worse. But he was worried .

The still-unnamed kitten stretched out next to him on the couch, exposing her soft belly. Atticus reached out, scratching under her chin. She seemed to love it, pressing into his touch as the volume of her purring ticked up a notch.

It had been about an hour since he’d gotten back home and delivered Kai’s medicine to him. He’d barely been conscious as Atticus had handed him the pill, flopping back to the bed as soon as he’d taken it and pulling the covers over his head.

Atticus had thought about going on a run, needing to expel his nervous energy. But he hadn’t wanted to leave Kai alone again. Just in case.

So he had cleaned. He’d scrubbed his kitchen counters, cleaned the litter box, wiped down the bathroom, made his bed, and folded the laundry he’d left in the dryer the night before.

It had helped, a little, had gotten rid of some of the restlessness he felt.

Kept him from checking on Kai every five minutes.

He had poked his head in a couple times.

Just to make sure Kai was okay. The first time he told himself it was to make sure he didn’t need more water.

The glass had still been half full, so he hadn’t said anything.

The second time it was to deliver the old Cats hoodie that Kai had worn that first day he’d spent at Atticus' place.

Atticus had washed the hoodie after Kai had given it back, but it felt wrong to put it away with his other clothes.

It wasn’t like he would ever wear it again.

Not when just thinking about the way Kai had looked in it had his mind heading off in a very dangerous direction.

So, instead of slipping it into his own dresser, Atticus had folded it neatly, carried it down the hall, and carefully opened Kai’s door just enough to place the hoodie on his dresser.

Maybe he would wear it again. Atticus smiled a little at the thought.

He’d been sitting on the couch, watching an old episode of Naruto . The episode was nearly over, and he hadn’t paid attention to more than thirty seconds of it. Maybe he should go check on Kai one more time. Just in case he needed something.