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Atticus watched him for several more long moments. Kai worried that he was going to push, that his friend was going to demand an explanation. That Atticus would scoff at him, would finally be done with whatever it was that was going on between them .

“Mmkay.” Atticus turned away. “Come on, I picked up some takeout for us. I’m starving!”

And that was that. The other man’s words sounded almost cheerful as he walked away. Kai listened to the sound of containers being pulled from a bag, listened to the clicking noises Atticus liked to make when trying to get the kitten’s attention.

Could they really just… not talk about it?

Kai had been told for so long now that he needed to talk through things, needed to get it all off of his chest or he would never feel better.

But he had talked. To Ori. To a therapist. He’d talked and he’d talked and he’d talked until he was sick of hearing himself. Sick of his own grief and rage.

Atticus wasn’t pushing him. He had acknowledged that Kai wasn’t okay, and was going to let him deal with it in his own way.

It was kind of nice, actually. A weight off his shoulders, knowing he wasn’t about to go through some horrible, awful conversation that he didn’t feel like having.

Knowing that instead they could go on with their night, maybe go back to the easy way they’d shared each other’s company earlier in the day.

Knowing that Atticus was there, if Kai did ever decide he wanted to talk about it.

Kai looked at himself once more in the mirror. He seemed a little better off, his eyes less red, his expression less strained. He sighed, leaving the bathroom to join Atticus in the kitchen.

Atticus chatted amiably while they ate. He talked about practice, although Kai noted something strained in his expression, noticed the way he didn’t go into as much detail as usual.

When Kai prodded, Atticus waved it away.

And, well, if he was willing to give Kai space to work through things for himself, then Kai figured he needed to do the same .

They moved on to other topics. Atticus asked about the work Kai had done while he’d been gone. He didn’t once push, didn’t once poke at Kai to tell him what had happened. Didn’t treat him any different, as though Kai were a porcelain doll that would break at the slightest provocation.

It was as if Atticus saw something in Kai, a strength there that Kai failed to even see in himself.

That thought hit Kai hard, as they sat together after dinner.

They were back on the couch, and Kai had opted to sit close to Atticus again.

There was no reason to, no ball of fur stealing his seat this time.

He’d just wanted to sit close, because it had been nice earlier in the day.

They were watching Naruto once more, finishing an episode that they’d started earlier.

The realization that Atticus didn’t see Kai as all of those broken, jagged edges washed over him.

Kai could no longer focus on the show, his mind fully preoccupied by the notion of how Atticus viewed him in light of all his pain and struggles to move on with his life.

Atticus saw him as more than his broken parts.

As someone who could exist despite them, as someone who was more than just his flaws, big and loud and consuming as they were.

Kai didn’t even see himself that way. He hadn’t for so long. Anytime he looked at himself, all he saw were the remnants of who he used to be, the pieces that had been left behind when Nicholas had stepped out of his life. Out of the life they had been building together.

The colors on the television screen blurred together. Kai felt his eyes begin to prickle, felt his nose begin to sting. He sniffled.

He hadn’t meant to, really. Hadn’t meant to lose it again.

But he was sad . He was sad, and he had been sad for so long about the life he didn’t get to have with the person he had loved more than anyone.

Sad about the phone call he’d received earlier, and Theo’s terrible words that were ringing through his head over and over.

Sad about the fact that he didn’t see himself as a strong person. Not anymore.

Atticus didn’t say anything, and Kai hoped for a moment that his tears had escaped notice. He had no such luck. Atticus moved his arm, shifting it from the back of the couch to rest more fully around Kai’s shoulders. His eyes never left the tv as he pulled Kai closer, holding him tight.

Kai curled into his side, no longer paying any attention to the show.

He let himself cry silent tears. Let himself feel whatever it was that he needed to feel.

It didn’t last long. Maybe it was because he wasn’t fighting it, wasn’t railing against his own emotions, wasn’t hating himself for feeling too much.

Just a few minutes, Atticus' warmth seeping into him, and Kai felt better. Not miraculously healed, but… better.

The kitten flopped around on the floor in front of them, batting a felt ball around, rising awkwardly onto her toes whenever it would move in an unexpected direction, before shooting off across the room. Moments later she would be back, facing off against the toy once again, over and over.

Kai laughed. It was a small, tear-soaked sound that escaped him, one even he hadn’t been expecting. But it seemed to lift something, a blanket that had been hanging over the room. Atticus chuckled along with him as they watched the kitten’s antics play out for a few more moments.

“One more?” Kai asked, nodding at the screen that had changed to an are you still watching message.

“Sure,” Atticus said, clicking a button on the remote. “I’m beat though, gonna knock out after this.” Kai only nodded in response, but couldn’t keep a small smile from forming on his lips.

He wasn’t ready to move away yet, wasn’t ready to say goodnight and lose the comfortable warmth resting around his shoulders.

Kai watched Atticus. He did look sleepy, eyelids heavy, expression soft.

Kai didn’t look away when their eyes met.

He felt like he should say something, but didn’t know what.

Atticus' grin was crooked and charming as ever, softened a little by his exhaustion. Kai felt his stomach flip, felt his blood go fizzy in his veins. He turned away, facing back toward the television before he did something stupid.

Because he had almost just leaned into Atticus and kissed him.

About halfway through the episode, Kai could feel his own eyelids beginning to droop.

He was about to say something, to suggest they call it a night early, when he felt a pleasant sensation against his scalp.

Kai held his breath as Atticus lazily ran long fingers through his hair, playing with the ends a bit before moving back to his scalp.

Sparks lit along Kai’s spine at every touch, every brush of Atticus' hand. He couldn’t help but lean into the contact, silently asking for more.

Kai loved having his hair played with. It was something he had missed, something that turned him into a puddle every time.

Atticus seemed to take a hint, growing a little more bold with his movements. Kai let his eyes fall shut, melting into every touch, resting his head against Atticus' chest.

He wasn’t going to get up now . Not when Atticus' fingers ran through his hair, pulling gently through a few tangles in a way that was turning Kai into actual putty.

The gentle caress of Atticus' hand quickly lulled Kai to sleep.

The first thing Atticus noticed when he woke up was that it was still dark. He had no idea how long he’d been asleep, but with no light shining in through the windows he figured it had been just a few hours, tops.

The second thing Atticus noticed when he woke up was that he had his arms wrapped around another person.

It seemed as though he and Kai had passed out together on the couch.

Kai shifted in his sleep, his back pressing more firmly into Atticus' chest, soft hair tickling Atticus' nose as their bodies melded together.

Which led Atticus to his third discovery after waking up.

He had a full-on boner.

Fuck . Atticus inhaled harshly as Kai shifted again, the friction nearly pulling a gasp out of him. If Kai woke to Atticus jabbing him in the ass, he was a little afraid the other man might throttle him.

Shit shit shit. What was he going to do? If he tried to move, to get up and go… take care of himself, he might wake Kai up. Might reveal himself with his traitorous dick.

There was also the fact that he had the man of his dreams in his arms, pressed tight against him, making his thoughts feel a bit jumbled.

Maybe if he just ignored it, maybe it would go away.

Atticus held his breath, which only helped to make him feel like he was going to pass out.

It wasn’t going to work, his situation wasn’t going to resolve itself.

Atticus shifted his arm, pulling it away from Kai to leverage himself up from where he was squeezed between a warm body and the back of the couch.

Fingers wrapped around his wrist. Atticus froze.

Well. It seemed Kai was already awake.

Kai pulled Atticus' arm back around him, pressing his hand to his chest. The movement jostled them both again, and this time Atticus did let out a small gasp. Kai’s fingers laced in his, his grip tight .

Kai rocked his hips back, a shallow, slow push. Atticus jerked a little as the small, round ass he remembered so fondly pressed against his cock.

“ Fuck .” He whispered the word against Kai’s neck, pressing his face there as his eyes squeezed shut unbidden. Kai moved his hips again, and Atticus' arms tightened around him.

They probably shouldn’t be doing this. They were probably both too groggy, and apparently too horny, to be thinking straight. But when Kai moved back against him a third time, Atticus couldn’t help the way his own hips jerked forward. And when he heard a sharp breath leave Kai’s lips?

Every coherent thought left Atticus' brain.