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Atticus could feel Julian’s stare burning a hole in his cheek, could perfectly picture his narrowed eyes and knowing expression as Bowen continued.

“Gotta go, coach looks like he’s about to knock Carpenter on his ass again!

” Eric Carpenter, their libero, had a tendency to let his mouth run just far enough to get him in trouble.

Maybe it was a Cats thing. Not a single one of them knew when to shut the fuck up.

Just as quickly as he’d arrived, Bowen zipped off, heading across the room toward their coach.

Taking another long pull from his beer, Atticus purposely avoided the stare of the man next to him.

“Why don’t you say anything?”

Julian’s question was sharp as a dagger, but the violence didn’t seem directed at Atticus. It felt more like those words were fighting for him.

“People are gonna think what they think.” Atticus shrugged. “I made my bed, now I’ve got to sleep in it.”

“You know…” The sudden softness of Julian’s words finally pulled Atticus’ eyes back toward him. “I sort of get it. It’s hard to change people’s perceptions when they’ve already made up their minds.”

“Exactly.” Atticus tipped his nearly empty bottle toward the other man. “Too much trouble to fight a losing battle.”

Julian quirked his lips, contemplation softening his features. “You could easily just prove them all wrong by finally making a move, you know.”

Atticus couldn’t help himself, his eyes betraying him yet again by snapping his focus across the room, landing back on Kai.

“You think I haven’t been trying?” Atticus watched Kai get pulled into a conversation by the very man who had just left their sides. Bowen animatedly said something that had both Kai and Coach Rodriguez rolling their eyes.

“Have you told him exactly how you feel about him?”

Atticus huffed. “Well. No. But I can’t just say it. He just wants to be friends, so friends we are.”

Just friends. For what felt like so long now.

At some point over the last six months, Atticus had resigned himself to living out the rest of his life planted firmly in the friend zone.

It felt an awful lot like being stuck on the bench his freshman year of college, just waiting for his team to give him a chance on the court.

If he could just get his hands on the ball, he knew he could always set it perfectly.

But no, Atticus was sure he wouldn’t be getting that chance. Not again. Didn’t matter that his feelings never seemed to dull, never seemed to fade with time. Not since the night they’d spent together. The single best night of his life.

Atticus had always had a thing for his favorite streamer, NotYourKitten.

Had always made sure his notifications were turned on so that he would never miss a single alert that the cute gamer was going live.

It had been a shock, to say the least, to find out that the small time celebrity he had a silly little crush on was the very same Kai that Ori happened to be best friends with.

They’d grown up two towns apart, had bonded over volleyball.

Had stayed friends long after Kai had left the sport to focused his efforts on gaming.

Cut to several months after Ori caught Atticus watching one of Kai’s streams, and the pro-gamer had finally agreed to go out with him. One date, one night.

Atticus hadn’t stopped thinking about Kai since then.

Months of pining, something Atticus hadn’t even realized he was capable of.

They hadn’t hooked up again after that first time, had instead settled into an easy friendship.

Countless evenings of online gaming, a few meals out together here and there.

It didn’t matter that one night with Kai had changed something in Atticus, because it clearly hadn’t affected him the same way.

And while Kai had also remained single for the entire duration of their friendship, Atticus knew he wasn’t available. Not really.

“I’m going up front,” Julian said, pulling Atticus from his thoughts. The brunette looked at his phone before downing the last of his wine and placing the glass on the bar top. “Parker said they just pulled up.” He began to walk away before turning his sharp gaze back on Atticus one last time.

“I’m telling you this in more of a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kind of way,” Julian said, smirking. “But I think you should just tell him how you feel.”

Atticus nearly squirmed at Julian’s words as he turned away, heading off to surprise the man of the hour. A part of him knew that Julian was right. But it was much easier said than done, something Atticus was acutely aware of.

His gaze drifted back to Kai again, his heart tripping as a small smile formed on the those rosebud lips at something Bowen said to the group.

It wasn’t like Atticus hadn’t considered just telling Kai everything.

Telling him how he thought about him constantly, how he didn’t see anyone else anymore because all he could see was Kai.

How he always looked forward to the times when they would end their nights with an hour or two of playing some mindless shooter together online, how his pulse raced at hearing Kai’s voice over his mic.

With every thought, every decision he made, he always found a way to factor Kai in, all in the hopes that he would maybe, maybe be more than just a friend one day.

But because they were friends, because Atticus knew Kai… well, that was how he knew it was for the best to just keep the extent of his feelings to himself.

Because Kai simply was not available.

As though some cosmic entity were pulling their strings, Atticus watched as the man that saturated his every thought suddenly stiffened. Kai’s tiny smile disappeared completely as his eyes widened. Atticus followed Kai’s stare across the room, knowing what he would see.

Ori had just arrived, smile bright as daylight as he gaped at the surprise waiting for him. And right behind him stood the couple who’d brought him to the party. Theo Whittaker and Nicholas Parker.

Nicholas. Kai’s ex .

Kai downed the rest of his drink as the entire room cheered for his friend.

He forced himself to keep his eyes on Ori as he flung himself toward Julian, arms wrapping tight around his middle, copper hair glinting in the low lighting.

Watching his friend’s joy at seeing Julian, at having an entire room packed with people there just for him, it was a pretty good distraction.

But maybe not quite good enough.

Kai couldn’t help himself. His chest tightened as his eyes fell back on the two men who had arrived with Ori.

Nicholas looked good. Really good. He smiled easily, laughing as Ori almost bowled Julian over.

Dark hair just as messy as ever. Kai hated how much it suited him.

How it didn’t clash with the sharp suit he wore, black on black, a red tie the only pop of color.

The tie was crooked, of course. Nicholas was always just a little bit of a mess.

Kai remembered the countless times he’d had to fix a collar or help tuck in a shirt.

His fingers tightened on his empty glass, aching to reach out and straighten the tie.

He was still staring when long, pale fingers slipped into view. Theo Whittaker adjusted the tie, earning a sly grin from Nicholas.

Theo, who had been Kai and Ori’s friend through college after he had moved to Chicago from London. He’d been Nicholas’ friend too. The friend that had swooped in just months after Kai had been dumped to snatch Nicholas up.

Kai hadn’t spoken to Theo either, not since the day Nicholas had announced his move to St. Louis. Not since Kai had realized Theo was the reason Nicholas had found the new teaching job, the catalyst for the end of the life Kai had grown so comfortable in.

It was time for a refill .

Kai fought back the wave of annoyance, of pain , as he slipped away from the group chatting around him, heading toward the bar. He was not going to be angsty at Ori’s going away party. It didn’t matter if this was the first time he’d seen as his ex in over a year.

It felt a little like the room was closing in on him, and Kai wasn’t sure if it was from the anxiety of seeing Nicholas again or from the alcohol he’d already consumed.

It probably wasn’t a great idea to have another drink, since he’d already had two and hadn’t eaten a thing since lunch.

But Kai was sure he couldn’t stomach food, not with the way his gut had been twisting into knots since he’d walked through the doors knowing full well who else would be at this party.

He wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Ori was leaving, flying off to the other side of the country, and Kai suddenly wouldn’t have his friend around anymore.

Ori had been there for the worst parts of Kai’s life, had helped him find his way back into the light.

Had been the light. The least Kai could do was show up for his going away party.

Arms wrapped around Kai shoulders from behind as familiar laughter burst out next to his ear.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” It seemed that Kai’s thoughts had the ability to summon his best friend.

He didn’t understand how Ori had moved across the room so quickly, but it didn’t matter.

A different pinch in his chest, one unrelated to his messy love life, loosened within Kai as he leaned back against his friend.

“I’ll miss you, too.” Kai extricated himself from Ori’s tight grip, turning to face him.

He searched Ori’s smiling face, looking for any hint of the sadness he’d seen when they’d met up two weeks prior for lunch.

When Ori had hastily blurted out that he’d been traded, and would be moving so far away.

“I’m okay,” Ori said, shoving Kai’s shoulder, his eyes scrunching as his grin widened.