Page 89

But. . . here’s the heavy shit. Brace yourself. Iwas notexpecting to want her to stay. There. I said it.
Amberly Johnson has and always will be an addiction for me, worse than cocaine, and I’ve fought this need for so long, it’s hard to understand my feelings now.
Carefully, I shift out from under her, the scent of her fading from my skin as I pull on my shorts from the night before.
I quietly sneak out and downstairs to the kitchen. Shade and Scarlet are in there with Camden. When they notice me, their attention shifts, their eyes burning into my back as I grab the coffee pot and a cup from the cupboard.
“Crazy night, Wild Cat?” Shade asks, sounding obnoxiously cheerful.
I ignore the question and pour myself a cup of coffee.
“Did you have a nice evening?” Scarlet asks next.
“That’s none of your fuckin’ business.” When I turn to face them, I find Scarlet’s gaze on me, grinning, and guess who’s on her hip?
If you said River, then you’d be right. I really need to watch myself around her. Pretty soon she’s going to start cussing like me. When I’m next to her, River lunges for me like a monkey. I catch her, thankfully. “Why they call you Wild Cat? Your name Tiller.”
“It’s a nickname.”
Her brow furrows, her eyes on my tattoos she’s fascinated by. “I want a nut name.”
I laugh and set her on the counter. “You mean nickname?”
“Yeah.”
“Well they’re earned. We’ll have to think of one.”
Camden appears, naturally eating cereal and sits next to us. “I have one. Mine’s Cam-Man.”
River brow furrows even more. Laughing lightly, I sit beside her. “Hungry?”
She nods. “Where’s the cereal?”
Roan walks in, with Ophelia behind him. This time I don’t say anything. Ophelia looks at me, then River. “Um, who’s that?”
“I’m Raptor,” River says proudly.
Did you burst out laughing? I did. So did everyone else in the room. About the time Amberly comes downstairs wearing one of my T-shirts, Ophelia looks to Roan. “Is her name really Raptor?”
He nods, retrieving the milk and eggs from the fridge and a loaf of bread off the counter. “Yep.” He glances at River. “How about some French toast, Raptor.”
Her eyes light up. “Yup!”
Now take a look at Amberly when she approaches me from behind. I can’t see her face yet, but I canfeelher behind me. I don’t know what to say to her and I think she feels the same way. Something’s changed between us. Not only physically, but emotionally. We’re in many ways, playing house, but what does it mean? How long before I fuck it up because you know damn well I’m going to.
I turn to face her. Do you notice the way she looks around the room at everyone but me? She’s nervously assessing the situation and how I’m going to react now that I’ve fucked her. Even I don’t know how I’m going to react, but if you heard the way my heart thumped louder the moment her presence in the room is known, you know she’s mine.
I want to say something, but just like last night, my voice stalls, chokes on words I’m not sure I can say to her. Ones that hold meaning and security she deserves. Ones I’m not sure I know the true meaning behind.
“Sleep good?” I finally ask, twisting toward the coffee pot to pour her a cup of coffee.
She nods, her smile breaking through. Handing her the coffee, I wrap my arm around her shoulder. “Ready for round two?”
Her cheeks heat but she doesn’t say anything; she doesn’t need to. I can tell by the underlying hunger in her eyes she enjoyed last night.
Roan makes French toast. Amberly and River eat, as do most of the others but me, my stomach’s in knots. I drink my coffee instead. I can’t tell you why, but maybe it has to do with her, River, the fact that I haven’t touched drugs in weeks and have that feeling deep inside my gut this is all going to end badly.
After breakfast, Camden’s playing video games and River’s sitting next to him. Amberly places her hand on my shoulder. We’re alone, aside from the kids.