Page 27

Alexandra laughs at me like I don’t understand, like I’veneverunderstood. Maybe I haven’t, and I’ll admit there’s certainly a lot in the world I’m naïve to. “Seriously? This is what I’m talking about. You’re so stupid sometimes.”
Sticks and stones never broke my bones, but words make me hate you.
Stupid. It’s a descriptive word, one she’s used with me since I was the bratty little sister who looked up to her beauty, until I realized how flawed her soul is. Words hold a deeper meaning than the harshness in which they’re delivered. It shouldn’t determine ones worth, or lack thereof.
I’ve never ever liked Alexandra.
I stammer and hide my true feelings. “What are you talking about?”
Annoyance flashes in her eyes, her words hushed and bitter. “It’s this kind of thing that I don’t understand, Amberly.” She picks up a scarf, tossing it over her shoulder and into another pile of scarves, shoes, and hats. “How could Ava think you’re what’s best for River when you don’t even know how the real world works.”
Confusion masks my real expressions. I have a job. A bank account. A studio apartment I pay for myself. While I’m not great with money, I’m in the real world. I’d like to think I’m at least making it and not completely incompetent in the ways of life. “What are you talking about?”
Like she can’t believe she has to explain this to me, Alexandra sighs. “We can’t use the insurance money for the house because there is no insurance money yet. It could take months for that money to come through, and even then, it’s in the will that the money is put into a trust for River. She’s the beneficiary of the money. So no, youcan’tpay a mortgage with it.”
We were meant to be three sisters, not two, and one destroying the other, and the one who burned the brightest, in the dirt, the youngest growing older than the eldest.
I hate that I didn’t know you couldn’t use the money, but even more that the little girl at my feet is hearing this. “I didn’t realize the money hasn’t come through yet.” I glance to River, a girl not listening. She’s too busy staring at her parents’ picture on the wall.
“Not surprising.”
Sighing, I swallow over the lump in my throat. “I just thought it could pay the mortgage for a month or two so River wouldn’t have to be uprooted too soon.”
Alexandra’s tone softens, but it’s not because she’s being nice; it’s because she doesn’t want River, who’s hanging on Kona now, to hear her. “No matter what we do, sooner or later, she’ll be uprooted again. Might as well do it all at once.”
That actually makes sense, damn it.I take a closer look at the piles of clothing. My brows bunch together. “What are you doing in her closet and with her clothes?” I want to rip the fabrics from her hands.Don’t touch her stuff!
Like she’s too bothered, too perfect and so much better than me, she rolls her eyes. “One’s for donation, the other is to keep.” She senses my anger rising that she’s going through her belongings so soon. Who does she think she is? “And where have you been?”
Calmly, I kneel to River, because it’s about to get ugly. I touch her softest cheeks. She leans in, the touch welcoming. “Wanna take Kona in the playroom?”
With one hand on Kona and her eyes on Alexandra, River nods, but doesn’t say anything. I’m beginning to notice, in the presence of others, she doesn’t talk. She stares silently at nothing with haunted, hopeless eyes.
I wait until River’s out of sight. “Not that it’s any of your business where I go. . .” I pause, and this time I wait for Alexandra to give me her eyes. I’m curious what her reaction will be. “I went to see Tiller.”
She stares at my appearance, my clothes, then my hair, finally my eyes. She thinks I’ve lost my eccentric mind. “Why the fuck would you do that? Are you seriously telling me you dragged that child with you for your superstar booty call? I can’t believe how selfish you are exposing River tothose people.”
Alexandra knows “those people” because much like most of us in the Santa Monica zip code, we’ve had contact with the Sawyer brothers and the legendary mansion that houses the parties talked about around town.
“You don’t know anything about them,” I bite back, barely holding my composure. I might be upset with Tiller, but it’ll never stop my loyalty to him. He saved me, mentally, from giving up on myself and though he’s harsh and pissing me off, I can’t forget the only time I’ve ever felt true friendship is with him. “I went there because Ava asked me to.”
Do you notice the shock on Alexandra’s face? The gaping mouth and the narrowing of her eyes? My sisters have brown eyes. I’m the odd one out. Green eyes and lighter hair I keep purple or lilac to match the color of my suffocating heart. My parents both have brown eyes, too, so naturally, this is another reason why I thought I was adopted. “Why would Ava want you to take River to Tiller’s house? Seems like a bullshit excuse to me.”
“She asked me to take River to meet her father. That’s what she wrote in the letter that the lawyer handed me.”
“Her father? What are you talking about her father? Cullen was her father.”
I’m silent, letting the words sink in. It takes a moment, but eventually, it does.
How’s it feel to not know everything?
“You’re lying,” she accuses. “Ava wouldneverkeep that from me.”
You didn’t know her like I did.
“I was with her that night. She did.” I change the subject with, “Why didn’t you talk to me about selling the house? I could have prepared River better than letting her see the For Sale sign.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. You’re forgetting River is three and will be fine no matter what. In a few years, she won’t even remember her parents.”