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Scarlet’s lived here a little over a year. She’s certainly seen me naked before and turns on her heel, walking the other way. “You have an hour to get ready,Wild Cat.”
I chuckle at her calling me by my nickname and stare at Ledger. “Probably not, unless you’ve thought of a lie to tell her uptight ass.”
He pockets his cell phone in the front pocket of his jeans and takes off out the door without a shirt on. I’m assuming he’s going to beg for forgiveness, but I’m not sure. Knowing Ledger’s straying yet honest dick, he’s going to tell his wife of his recent infidelity and his soon-to-be-divorced ass will be crashing on our couch for the next month.
As I’m standing there, still naked, thinking I should shower, my phone rings. I glance at the number and walk away.
The truth of the matter is I’m burning out on this shit, losing my mind, and descending into a world of drugs, hatred, and eventually death if it doesn’t change. Don’t look at me like that. You didn’t think this would be aCinderellastory, did you?
It’s gritty and a true-to-life portrayal of talent wasted by addiction. Welcome. Hope you’re along for the ride.
Scarlet looks at me, frustrated. “I can’t believe you skipped round one. Do you have any idea how upset Honda and Red Bull are with you?”
“Probably a lot.” I shrug and think about taking the chopsticks in my hand and stabbing my eyes out. It’d get me out of being here.
Rod clears his throat, crossing his arms over his chest. “And you don’t care, do you?”
Again, I shrug. “Not particularly.”
“You will when they pull your sponsorship,” Shade adds.
“They won’t.”
Scarlet raises an eyebrow. “What makes you think they won’t?”
“Because I gave them the image they’re looking for.”
And that’s the only leverage I have to maintain my independence in a sport that’s full of hypercritical assholes looking to control the entire industry and dictate who does what, and essentially who wins.
Do you notice the way I’m slouched in the chair at the Yang Chow restaurant? The nonchalant attitude? The lack of response to the questions I’m being asked?
I’m indifferent.
Take a closer look. Do you notice the way I’m biting the inside of my cheek until it bleeds and blood pools in my mouth? The clenching of my jaw? The restless legs under the table or the feigning interest I have in the orange chicken on the table?
I’m irrational. It takes everything in me not to spit the blood on the table. I’m actually thinking about doing it just to see what their reaction might be.
Scarlet eyes me. A warning. She knows me well, doesn’t she?
Do you notice the way my breathing accelerates or my obsessive opening and closing of my Zippo lighter?
I’m impatient.
I want this lunch over with.
Consequently, and essentially predictable, I hate everyone involved in the motocross world. Sponsors, officials, managers, riders, basically anyone who’s ever asked more than I’m willing to give of myself. Why so much hate?
A better question would bewhy not?
The stiff suits on motocross. . . all they want is to drink the blood of the devil himself. They want what they think I create. My image. My brand. My badassness. That’s a word. Don’t believe me? Google it. There’s a picture of me next to it.
This side, the part that has you shaking your head in disbelief it’s not just some persona I’ve created, it’s who I am and essentially what’s branded me as the wild cat of the sport. I’m crazy, but I back up my crazy with my performance, and that’s how I got the name. My reluctance to conform to their standards as a reputable well-rounded freestyle rider is looked at as an insult to them.
My frustration with the politics of the sport—and more specifically Rod Milan, the promotor of After Dark, had led to outright rebellion. I don’t give a shit about any of it. I don’t want sponsors making me feel obligated and dictating what I can and can’t do.
Remember when I said I enjoyed pissing people off? Watch this.
“Listen to me, Tiller,” Scarlet warns as she sits across from me, pushing her wild blonde curls from her face. To say Rod is upset I skipped the opening rounds of After Dark would be a huge understatement. And Scarlet, she doesn’t want to lose her job for not being able to control me. “I’m gonna stab you with this fork if you even think about skipping round two!”