Page 70

Do you see that guy on the couch with the kid? Does he look nervous?
Ha. That’s a goddamn understatement. I haven’t been this nervous since getting on an overnight flight to Amsterdam after doing a few hits of acid. I don’t remember much, other than being handcuffed to the seat when I yelled at the full moon to “Take my soul!”
You’re probably wondering where the nerves came from? Um, well, convinced I was importing narcotics, they cavity searched me. If you don’t know what that means, google it. I’d rather not say.
And for the sake of your sanity, because I’m sitting here with a child, I haven’t touched acid since then.
Back to what’s happening. I’m left with the kid, three bags of her stuff, and her holding the DVD ofBeauty and the Beast,while she’s screaming at me to play it. While she cries like someone pulled her hair, I think back to Amberly’s face when she left and hope this isn’t something like, hey, watch the kid while I go out for a pack of smokes and never come back.
She looked happy, didn’t she? Or maybe she was thrilled because I was acting like a grown-up? All I know is she better come back.
“I watch it now!” River screams, pointing at the television where Shade is watching highlights on ESPN where they’re showing the X-Fighters in Madrid. A year ago, he broke his neck in Madrid, and since then, he hasn’t watched the highlight. I’m not sure what is making him now, but I’m about to ruin that because I can’t handle this screaming.
River was normal when Amberly was here, but the moment she walked out the door, I’m not sure she left me with the same kid.
Walking over to the television, I grab the remote from Shade and turn the audio to the DVD and insert the disk.
“What are you doing, asshole?” he shouts, sitting up and glaring at me. “I was watching that.”
“Go someplace else and watch it.”
When the menu pops up with the music, River starts twirling around, dancing.
Shade looks to me, then River, then me again. “Are you fucking shitting me? Why is she here and what is this crap?”
Flopping down on the couch, I cradle my face in my hands. What in the fuckcicle did I agree to? I’m not parent material. Why didn’t you say anything?
I hold up the DVD cover, still cradling my face. “It’sBeauty and the Beast. And Amberly left her with me so she could move.” The moment the words leave my lips, I question my sanity. You are too, aren’t you? You’re thinking this is a disaster, aren’t you?
Shade stands, like he wants no part of this, but asks, “For how long?”
I look up. “Said she’d be back in a couple days.”
“Why would she leave her with you?”
“I just told you,” I snap, hitting the Play button to the movie. River grabs her blanket and sits next to me like we’re going to fucking cuddle up and enjoy the movie together. “She’s moving.”
It takes Shade a minute, but he stares at me, then River and then to my surprise, bursts out laughing. Motherfucker. “She’s your kid, isn’t she?”
Reaching across me for an empty beer bottle on the coffee table in front of us, I throw it as hard as I can at Shade. Naturally, he moves out of the way, and it hits the window behind and breaks it.
“Mom!” Shade yells jokingly when Willa walks back into the house with her phone pressed to her ear and Berlin on her back, sleeping in one of those baby carriers. She notices the broken glass. Shade points at me. “He did it.”
“Knock it off,” she says, barely interested. “And clean this up.”
“I can’t.” I scoot River closer to me. “I’m busy watchingBeauty and the Beast.”
Willa begins unbuckling her carrier and get this, she hands me Berlin like I’m a fucking babysitter now. “Well if you’re so cozy, watch Berlin while I deal with your mess and figure out how to get Shade to Peru next week to do a shoot.”
“No way.” I try to push Berlin back at her, but how can you push a sleeping baby away from you? That’s just evil.
Look at me curled up with two girls on the couch. Adorable, huh? Yeah, fuck off. Don’t get used to this. Where’s Amberly? I bet if she saw this, her ovaries would burst and maybe—just maybe—she might actually let me fuck her.
Shade’s eyes widen. “I have to go to Peru next week? I’m supposed to make an appearance in Madrid.”
Ah, yes. That’s why he was watching the highlights. Since the accident that almost killed him, he hasn’t been back to Spain, and I can’t say I blame him. I broke my pelvis and every bone in my left leg in Athens, Greece, and I have no desire to return. Fuck Greece. Unfortunately, I have three plates in my leg as a reminder.
Twenty minutes later—or an eternity when you’re watching a Disney movie—I’m only half paying attention to the movie River’s fully engrossed in. Until they’re at the scene where Beast and Belle, I know, pretty fucking weird I know her name now, but still, this is the part of the movie I pay attention to because River’s crying again. Berlin—who’s apparently teething—is awake and chewing on my fucking fingers like I’m a chew toy.