Page 9 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

“Yeah, but you’re all tatted up and shit. I didn’t realize what a badass you were.” He pulled me into a hug.

I giggled. “Thanks. I don’t think I’m that badass, but I appreciate it.”

Jeremy went around the corner and grabbed two beers from the cooler. He passed me one.

“Beer before liquor will get you sicker, liquor before beer you’re in the clear.”

I had no idea what he meant but was grateful it wasn’t another shot.

I turned back to Austin, who was leaning against the counter, still fucking staring. With his hands propped behind him, he was wearing a goofy smile.

“How the fuck are you even drinking?” I asked.

“Says the girl who just turned twenty-one.”

“You know when my birthday is?” I asked hesitantly.

He got off the counter and walked toward me. “I know everything about you, Supernova.”

This time it was my turn to laugh. “No. You know nothing.”

He had no idea my mother was dying, my job sucked, and I was a twenty-one-year-old virgin.

“Hmmm . . . well, I want to know everything.”

“Dude. You have a thing for Nova?” Jeremy asked, and I’d totally forgotten he was there.

“Duh.” Austin gave me a quick wink before looking over at his friend.

“Be nice and go get her another beer.”

I looked down and realized I was somehow halfway done with my beer. I guess that’s what I got for nervous drinking.

Jeremy laughed and then pulled another beer out and handed it to me. I quickly finished the first one and made it a point to nurse the second. I was the occasional-sip-of-wine kind of girl. This kind of social drinking was new, so I needed to make sure I took it slow.

“Why haven’t you come to these things more often?” Jeremy said. “And you need to bring your friend around more too.”

I looked out into the living room to see Luna making out with a guy while another cupped her ass. If a giant orgy was going to happen, Luna was going to be the star of the show.

I laughed and looked back at Jeremy. “I’m not a huge party girl.”

“Well, shit. Then I’m extra honored to have you here.” A girl walked by, and Jeremy turned his attention to her. “Hmmm. Come around more often, Nova. Deal with our antics.”

He grabbed the girl by the waist, and she squealed, begging him to put her down.

“Come here,” Austin whispered, taking a step to me. “I want to show you the best part of this place.”

I nodded, grateful for the opportunity to get out of here because the sexual energy was on fire, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what happened as the night went on... or did I?

Austin grabbed the bottle of tequila from the counter and gestured for me to follow him.

We walked down a hallway, and he pushed open a closed door.

A quick glance around told me we were in his bedroom.

There was a large four-poster bed made out of black metal, a white fluffy duvet that was surprisingly on a made-up bed, and a couple dressers around the room, but otherwise it was completely and totally impersonal.

If it wasn’t for the hockey bag in the corner, I would’ve thought this was the guest room.

“Is this your room?” I wanted to confirm we weren’t in the guest room.

“Yeah... You wanna stop at the bed? Get undressed?”

I pushed him. “Ew, Austin.” I laughed.

Our familiar banter felt good. He joked around a lot, and I admit I’d missed this while he was being grumpy. Maybe I needed to see him more outside of practice.

Austin chuckled. “Nah. I didn’t take you in here to fuck you... today.” He winked. “But no one at the party knows about this spot, so I wanted to take you to get to know you.”

I hesitated. “Are you drunk?” I asked.

He huffed out another laugh. “A little, but when am I not?” he asked.

That was surprisingly a sad thing to hear from Austin. “What do you mean?” I tried to clarify. “You aren’t drunk when you’re skating.”

He swallowed. “True.”

He looked around, then turned and grabbed my hand, pushing me through the room and toward a set of doors. We stepped outside onto a huge balcony, a giant daybed in the middle. It was full of pillows, and holy hell, with the breeze coming from the lake, it was the perfect evening.

“I love this spot,” Austin said as I looked at all the lights twinkling in the distance.

“Wow. This is impressive. My second-story walk-up has nothing on this.”

“Sit with me?”

How could I say no when he was grinning at me like a kid who had lost their first tooth?

“Of course.”

I walked to the daybed and plopped down on my back, close to Austin since he had taken up the majority of the space. Our heads were touching, our legs dangling on opposite sides.

“Hey, Supernova,” he whispered.

I turned my head, and our noses were almost touching. This close, I could see a sprinkle of freckles along his nose, his stubble along his jawline, and his thick full lips. I saw the man that held me this morning when I’d had a shitty day.

“Why have you been so weird with me this season?” I asked.

He closed his eyes. “Fuck,” he groaned. “I think I’m too drunk for this conversation.”

“Oh, no, you’re not,” I insisted. “You’re having this conversation whether or not you want to. We were cool last season, and I thought we were friends, but then this year, you got weird.”

“I don’t know, Nova. You’re too good for me. If you follow me, then I’m afraid I’ll bring you down. I don’t need anyone this good in my space.”

Another sad thing he said in the last few minutes. Maybe hockey’s golden boy had deeper secrets than I’d ever imagined.

“Is it because of your mom and the baby?” Everyone knew what had happened with Ledger, the Ravens’s former captain, and Austin’s mom, Auburn.

“God, fuck,” Austin groaned as he tilted his head away from mine and looked up at the sky. “Everything is about my mom and the fucking baby, but no, that’s not why I pushed you away. I fucking told you. I’m a shitty person, and I was going to drag you down.”

I shook my head. “You’re not a shitty person,” I said gently. “I’ve missed being your friend, Austin. I’ve missed walking to our cars together after practice and the plane rides to games. After today, I realized I missed... you.”

He turned so his head was back to facing mine. “Tell me a secret, Supernova. Tell me something no one knows.”

I sighed, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes as a strange sense of relief washed over me.

The weight on my shoulders seemed to ease, leaving me exposed but not in a vulnerable or frightening way.

There was a sense of safety, a quiet comfort in this space with Austin.

“My mom is dying of cancer, and it’s selfish, but sometimes I wish I could escape for a few hours and not have to deal with any of it.

” Pausing, I turned my head to check if Austin was still with me.

His eyes, though glazed, were focused on me with an intensity that told me he was listening.

“I had no idea,” he whispered.

“No one on the team does, except for Luna.”

“Then that’s not a secret.” His lips curled into a sad smile.

It was one of the reasons I didn’t tell people about my mom’s diagnosis. I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me. I didn’t want to be some sort of burden as the girl with the dying mom. I hated it.

“The part about escaping is. Luna, my mom, and aunt think I have it all together, but I don’t.

I’ve never wanted to fucking leave everything behind so desperately in my entire life.

I’m exhausted from living, but it makes me feel mad and sad that I even have to say that aloud because my mom doesn’t have a choice. It’s being taken away from her.”

We sat there in silence as my chest rose and fell a few times too fast. I looked down at the bottle of tequila, sat up, and took a swig. This time it burned, and I coughed all over. My head was spinning, and I realized maybe I was already escaping.

“I get it,” Austin said, still lying there. “I get it because I feel the same way. I have all this shit given to me. I’m in the fucking championship for the damned National Hockey League. I’m so close to getting that C on my sweater, but for some reason, I don’t want it.”

I lay back down, slowly because everything was starting to spin a little.

“This is such sad stuff to talk about at a party.”

Austin laughed. Now it was my turn to be embarrassed, because I had definitely said an inside thought out loud.

“I’m glad you came tonight, Supernova.”

I laughed at the nickname, and we lay there, close enough that the tip of my nose touched his.

He brought his hand to my chin, tracing my jawline with rough fingers. “I like your tattoos. It’s like you’re so much cooler than me.”

I chuckled as he traced his fingers down my arms.

“Your skin is so soft.”

Was he going to kiss me? Fuck. Fuck. It’s not that I hadn’t kissed a guy before, but Austin wasn’t just any guy. He had a reputation to uphold. Hell, I heard the locker room stories about the girls he dated. He was much more suited sexually for someone like Luna.

I was too drunk to care, or even move away. The world was spinning but in a good way. The alcohol buzzed through my veins, dulling my reality of what happens tomorrow and filling me with a warm, carefree sensation.

I took a deep breath, savoring the way the balcony swayed and shifted. It was a temporary reprieve from the constant overthinking and worrying. I didn’t have to think about Mami or Iris. I could exist in this moment, float on the waves of intoxication, and let everything else fade away.

Austin moved even closer, his breath mingling with mine.

His eyes, deep and intense, locked onto mine.

His hand traveled up, his fingers lightly brushing against my skin, making my heart race.

Our breaths became synchronized, shallow and quick, as the space between us dwindled.

His lips hovered a fraction away from mine, so close that I could feel their warmth.

My heart pounded in my chest, the anticipation almost unbearable.

Just as I thought our lips would finally meet, someone called out from inside, “Austin. We need you over here.”

He froze, his hand still cupping my face, his breath hot against my skin.

But the spell was broken. He pulled back slightly, his eyes filled with frustration and regret.

I jumped up, which was a terrible idea. I was suddenly extra dizzy and on a balcony, surely a recipe for disaster. I tried to stumble toward the door and saw Jeremy waiting for us.

“Dude,” I said to him as I patted his back. “You’re always fucking interrupting.”

I shook my head, and Jeremy erupted into laughter.

“She’s fucking right,” Austin grumbled as I managed to stumble down the hallway.

The two boys murmured behind me, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying, and truthfully, I didn’t care.

“Nova,” Austin shouted, or at least I think he was yelling.

I grabbed onto the wall for support, but as I tried to turn my head, I realized I was going to puke.

Fuck. I was going to hurl. Why did I take that last chug of tequila? It was about to send me over. Just moments ago I was escaping into the lips of a very hot and very famous hockey player, who I considered my friend last year, and now I was about to hurl all over his fucking floor.

Where was Luna? “I need Luna,” I managed to get out as I tried to find my balance.

“Dude. Fuck,” someone said, but as I rounded the corner...

“Oh my fucking god,” I croaked.

I was absolutely one-hundred-percent wasted because what was happening in front of me couldn’t actually be happening in real life.

Luna was in the middle of the room, and there was a legit giant-ass orgy all around her. She was currently being fucked by three... ? No. No.

“Luna,” I barked out.

I blinked. There were absolutely four men. There were four men because two were inside the same hole.

“What is happening?”

Austin came from behind me. “I tried to warn ya.”

I spun around, too quickly, on my heel to face him. “You didn’t tell me this is what happens when you extended an invite.”

“Clearly your friend likes it,” Austin bit back. “Are you a fucking prude, Supernova?”

“Me?” I scoffed.

It was too loud. I was scoffing far too loud. I didn’t sound believable, so I leaned onto the wall, except I wasn’t leaning on a wall. I fell forward right into Austin’s arms again.

“Seems like it’s a record. Twice in one day that I’m holding you up.”

“You’re a fucking?—”

And I puked everywhere.