Page 4 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

I had no idea what he meant, and at this point, after being ignored most of the year, I didn’t think we even had a friendship anymore. “I should go. Get that coffee and all.”

“Yeah.”

I took a step to the side and then turned to walk away from him, but he held his hand out to stop me. “Why don’t you ever join us at our parties? I know the guys have invited you out after the game. Is it your... boyfriend?”

He was fishing. This time, it was my turn to laugh. “No. No boyfriend to control me, thank fuck.”

“Control you?” Austin held a hand to his heart, feigning hurt like I had wounded him deeply. His eyes widened in mock offense, and he staggered back a step as if my words had physically struck him. “The male population would never dare.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Really?”

“Ha. Okay. You have a point, but I wouldn’t if that’s any consolation.”

“Austin.” I stopped him. “You know why I don’t come to the parties. You made it abundantly clear that you don’t want me there.”

He never answered my messages after what he confessed at the retirement party. I figured he was either too drunk to remember what he said or he didn’t care. After a few more tries of reaching out about work, he never responded, so I got the hint.

He shook his head. “I just thought—fuck,” he grumbled. “I want you there. Would it make a difference if I said I really wanted you to be there?”

I shook my head. “I really have to go.”

“I’ll walk you out?”

“Sure. Okay.”

Truthfully, I missed my friendship with Austin.

I’d been feeling somewhat guilty lately because, since my mom’s diagnosis and then her lack of getting better, I felt like Luna had been the recipient of my trauma dumping, which wasn’t fair to her.

I could use a friend, and like I said, Austin always seemed to be there until the night of the party last year

“You know,” Austin said as we walked in step toward the big doors and out to the parking lot, “I have to admit, you may be onto something.”

“Oh, yeah?” I grabbed a pair of sunnies from my purse and slipped them on as we walked down to the end of the lot where the staff parked. “In what way?”

“When my mom married Ledger, it was like she forgot about me. He’s a good guy, nothing dramatic or anything, but I get what you mean about feeling controlled. That’s why I never want to fall in love with anyone—I feel like you end up losing a part of yourself in the process.”

Holy freaking shit. It was like he reached into my mind and pulled out the very thoughts I’d been struggling with for years.

The constant disappointment, the fear of losing myself in a relationship, the way love seemed to demand more than it gave—all the things I had said to myself in the dark, secret corners of my mind, he had voiced out loud.

It was both unsettling and strangely comforting to know that someone else understood exactly what I had been feeling.

He had always been like that though. He always knew what to say even when I didn’t have the right words.

I glanced over at him, and for a moment, it felt like we were the only two people in the world who truly got it. He was looking straight ahead, his expression thoughtful, almost melancholic.

“I couldn’t agree more,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper.

The words felt heavy, loaded with shared understanding

He turned to look at me, a hint of surprise in his eyes. Then, slowly, a small, knowing smile curved his lips.

“So what do you say? Come to a party?”

I shrugged.

Aside from him ghosting me, I’d stopped going out when my mom got sick this year. I became a homebody, never drank, partied, or even had sex.

No one knew the latter about me, not even Luna.

She thought I had lost my V card to my high school boyfriend.

I think everyone else assumed I’d done it because of the way I looked and dressed.

I was tatted up, fearless, and loved adventure.

But I’d never found anyone I clicked with.

I wanted it to happen organically, without searching for it too much.

I wanted the other person to want it as much as I did.

“I didn’t think I was invited... after what happened,” I said, pointing to where my Honda was parked.

He blinked a few times, processing my words. “Of course you are.”

“Even after last year?” We hadn’t talked about what happened, and I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up.

“Over and done with. I don’t remember much of that night anyway.”

Ah. So he had no idea he confessed—I shook the thoughts out of my head. There was no point in bringing up the past if this was how we were going to act.

“I hate going to those things alone, and there’s the conflict of mixing business with pleasure. I want to stop doing these coffee runs?—”

“Think about all the content you can get. The guys will know you better, and I bet they’d even do that thing you want where they read a few lines of the smutty books.”

I laughed so hard, remembering that I’d done it. That trend had since passed, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him. He was right though. If I came around to the parties more often, then the team would probably feel more comfortable.

“I’d still need to bring a friend,” I said. I couldn’t believe I was even considering this.

“Deal. Bring her,” he replied.

“Who says my friend is a her?” I pulled down my sunglasses to stare at him.

Damn, he was even more beautiful in the sun. His blue eyes were so light they looked like a tropical island.

“Who cares. Bring him, them, whoever,” he said.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “When’s the next party?”

“Great news, the party is tonight because we don’t have our next game for a couple days and just a late practice. We’re celebrating our last Conference win.”

Mom was set with Aunt Mae. She’d probably be asleep, and Luna would be all over this because, unlike me, she loved a good party. In fact, she’d been begging me to hook her up with someone from the hockey team. She had a thing for hockey guys.

I sighed. I wanted to watch the new murder documentary tonight because I knew it would be trending soon, but I guessed I could go. “Cool.”

How lame was that? Why did I say cool to Austin Hart? Ugh. Inside, I wanted to curl up in a ball. It was not my fucking day.

“Cool means, yes, I will absolutely see you?”

I giggled. “Yeah, Austin. I’ll see you tonight.”

Austin smiled. “Good. I’m glad I’ll see you tonight.”

I laughed and walked past him as I clicked open the door. “Gotta go on my coffee run now. Iris is going to wonder what’s taking me so long.”

“Yeah.” He laughed. “She will.”

Once I settled in the driver’s seat, I started my car. He stepped out of the way, and I gave him a wave as I pulled out of the space.

I rolled down the window and watched as his curls bounced with each step he took toward his car. “Hey, Hart?” I shouted.

He turned around. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for the invite and, you know, letting me cry on your shoulder.”

He chuckled. “Anytime, Supernova. Anytime.”